Saturday, June 16, 2012


I have to say, overall, my work travel is fairly uneventful. Some weather related delays, but that's about it.  I've been fairly lucky about getting upgrades to first class - and very lucky about that when on the red-eye flights.

I don't really sleep on planes, but I've been learning to doze a bit and even that helps.

Yesterday was different - and not in a good way. Even this gangplank to the regional jet to SFO felt like it would collapse as I walked up it. The flight attendant noticed this too. Not that they did anything about it.

Granted, I might have packed on a few pounds, but it's not like I'm taking down a walkway to an aircraft.

The trip to SFO was uneventful.

For all legs to Cali, back and forth, I booked myself on aisle seats and at exit rows. Extra leg room!!!!

With two hours to kill I tried to get in my step (10,000 a day!) and did a trek around a few of the concourses. Of course I checked my gate and there I was, one person away from being upgraded to first class. 12 seats, 11 people had checked in.......and then there was me.

Please believe me Santa, please!!!

Alas, it was not meant to be. I still had my aisle seat / exit row. But I'm ahead of myself.

So more walking and I saw this "woman" coming towards me. There was no way to get out my phone and take a picture of her by the time I saw her approach. I turned on my heels and followed.  She was that amazing.

I even went to her gate and sat across from her.  I had to.

I'm sorry, but this view does not do justice to see "her" in motion. But since she's writing, the education system didn't completely fail.  ....though as I said to Rebecca, "Beauty School Drop-Out".  Of course the joke is, I've never seen Grease, but I know the song titles.

So, back to my gate and my departure. I'm a fairly high-elite status (not bragging) and was in boarding group 1.  I go up and present my iphone ticket and the system beeps.  No biggie, it always does that when you're in an aisle road.

But noooooooooo................

The lady can't figure out why my ticket says 12D. She has me at 37E.  Oh fuck no!!!

37 is the last row.  E is the middle seat.  Oh fuck no!!!!

I opted to hold up the other 200 folks waiting to board while I argued with the gate agent. Allegedly there had been a "plane change".  Ok, Fine.  But that new plane still had an exit row and aisle seat.  You didn't sell that seat again - did ya?

I don't know how they made the determination of this, but I was not happy. Clearly.

And I don't meant to play the 'elite' card, but holy fuck. I don't mind not being in first class, but steerage - next to the restroom (and lord, someone took a smelly dump!) and absolutely no chance of sleep.

...and it was a turbulent flight, which made it fun.

But it really was the cramped seating and sardine-like atmosphere that sucked beyond belief.  Half-way though the flight, I swear I could feel myself getting a DVT on my back left thigh up to my ass.

Any other time I would have gotten up and walked the aisle of the plane, but I was one seat seat aways from that aisle and it turns out that guy could sleep, so I suffered in silence......until now.

I guess it's the luck of the draw, but I will be reaching out to United on this.

Next trip has to be better.........................right?

I didn't even come home directly from the airport, I drove directly to the gym what I thought would be to lift, but it turned into more stretching and trying to work the kinks out of my neck, back and butt.  Oh and a really hot shower and change of clothes.

By the way, I"m really tired.

Song by: Lit


Birdie said...

Same thing happened to me years ago, when I had my infant daughter with me. I begged the flight attendant to give us our seats on row 5 and he refused. Baby and I spent the entire flight throwing up. The poor man next to us is probably still telling tales about this trip from hell.

Anonymous said...

I am trying to calculate the odds of you never seeing Grease. It just doesn’t compute. There was no trip to the movies to see “Grease” with your mom while everyone else went and saw “Alien”? If this is true please rent the DVD and go over and watch it with your mother before it’s too late. You will find happiness in this endeavor.

Blobby said...

a. my mother has NEVER made it through a movie w out falling asleep.

b. I'm fine w my never seeing 'Grease'.

c. long time readers (and those who read for content) will know i've seen 'Grease 2' about two dozen times and know all those songs.

cb said...

You should write a letter to the airline about this poor customer service. I doubt it will do any good, but you may get miles or upgrades.

Anonymous said...

"Some people are so touchy"

Ur-spo said...

dear me what a story
I hope all is well by now

Erik Rubright said...

You could have been the size of BrettCajun, in which case they might have put you in the overhead storage thingys.