the First Cut is the Deepest

I'm trying to rush through this post before we lose electricity again. Some very powerful storms have hit us. And still are. 

I'm loving whomever has put up these billboards throughout Cleveburgh. 

It's looks welcoming to our National Park - and yes, the NE Ohio area has a National Park.  .....thank you. 

Last checked, the Cuyahoga Valley National Park (CVNP here out) is / was the 7th most visited National Park in the country.  Go figure. 

710 and I might be counted multiple times, but even Peleton has a bike tour through the park, so.....that's something. 

But often we take Shep there for our walks and picnics. And one of my running groups makes some of our longer runs through there. 

Or did. 

With the BLOTUS / Musk folks cutting funding, trail repair is off the table and many of the restrooms are just shuttered. 

It's a big-assed park so you'd literally have to "run" five miles to get to a bathroom. Sometimes longer. And most of the people down there aren't runners. So, the woods are gonna have to do. 

Our leaders are planning our runs elsewhere. Our metro parks are wonderful here - usually voted best in the nation - and there are no shortage of running options, though most require a LOT of hills. But they have facilities. 

Still, the billboards (and there are many) are calling out why there are fewer repairs and services, and laying at the feet of DOGE. BLOTUS who has never exercised (or even walked) in a park, and Musk who probably has never done Ketamine in our park. 

Everyone should have a bathroom to shoot up in, no? 

Song by: Cat Stevens

Mama Said Knock You Out

In my constant efforts to move levels from being super butch to über butch, I signed David and myself up for something that was not yoga.

It was billed as a boxing class, and while it certainly had aspects of pugilism, the beginning and end themes were definitely boot camp stuff.

The first 15 minutes was grueling. I knew it would be when the woman who showed up was the one who did the Insanity last May.

That was a living hell.

This first 15 minutes of this class was no better. I'm no fan of burpees or even jumping jacks. The sprints weren't too bad - though except for David and myself, the others on our team didn't really assert themselves. It wasn't scored, but had it been, we'd have lost.

Oh - and once again, we were the only two men (besides two of the instructors). I thought maybe it would be some kind of rape retaliation class: how to fight your attacker, and that David and I would be the designated rapists. Luckily, this did not come to fruition.

I will admit to liking the boxing and I didn't think I would.

Years ago, I made some flip comment to Rebecca when she said Muhammad Ali had some kind of honor for athlete of the millennium. I said he was as much of an athlete as Secretariat - which made Rebecca laugh.

Yes, boxers train and train and train. Lots of cardio and boot camp kind of stuff. And at least horse racing doesn't give you idiopathic Parkinson's disease.

But boxing, in real life, is not the same as it seems on television. I've seen it live and it is fucking brutal. Television desensitizes the violence of the hitting, the sounds and blood. It's not a video game or just a gambling event.

Yesterday wasn't exactly real boxing. It was just basics on hitting either guys or girls who were wearing pads or protective gear. Learning jabs, crosses and upper cuts.

Besides getting to throw punches at a guy wearing pads on his hands - left, right, left - I was expected to his a woman wearing a chest and abdominal protector.

I've never punched anyone in my life - let alone a girl. Years ago, I once owned up in this very blog, to being subjected to years of ridicule from former classmates because Eileen Perry beat me up in the 4th grade. Besides her being a bully - and obviously a probable lesbian - I even knew then it wasn't right to hit a girl, so I took it like a man.

The first few hits were very very tentative. She encouraged me where to hit and that I could do it harder. Also how to hold my arm and wrist, so not to hurt anything - on me. But hitting her was some virtual eraser for Eileen Perry.  ...at least that's what I'm telling myself.

That was all fine, but hitting the guy's hand pads were a much better experience for me. He had to stop me the first time, saying we were going for speed and not power, as he saw me wind up.

I found it slightly amusing that I asked the two male instructors if they boxed and they replied they did not - even though they teach it.

Those who can't......

Doing push-ups and planks while wearing boxing gloves proved to be challenging, at best.

David and I even got to spar a little. We said, being family, we were mostly used to sparring with our wit. Or at least, our perceived wit.

It was a great workout - well, eventually it was. It should be noted that David and I not only survived the entire class, but were basically the last two standing. Yes, there were two other students from this gym who had taken their classes before (one was a total ringer!), but the other students dropped out and left early. So, I'm taking that as a win.

And we got a free two week pass to their facility. That was nice and  if we were just hitting the bag, but it seems like a lot of burpees, push-ups, jumping jacks and sprints to get to that point. Even if we use a two week pass, I don't see getting there more than twice.   .....which may just kill me.



Song by: L.L Cool J

Go Insane

The place David and I usually do yoga (for free, mind you) on Saturdays lately has had no yoga. No zen. No being centered while exploring your body by way of a series of poses and twists.

This is disconcerting for a few reasons. The place that provides the service sells yoga clothing. The other reason is, we like our routine of a morning walk, yoga and then sitting and having tea or a fruit smoothie while yakking together.

The store still has an exercise class on Saturdays, but it ain't yoga.

Sometimes it is a barre class. We are the only two males there.

Sometimes it is a core / boot camp class.  We are the only two males there.

And last Saturday it was "Insanity".  And yes, we were the only two males there.

To be fair, the first two categories we didn't know it wasn't going to be yoga, so we showed up and stayed. This last time we knew it wasn't going to be yoga, but we didn't want to work out separately at our own gyms, so we figured we could do anything for an hour.

Figured wrong. Kind of.

I've never done PX90 (or whatever it is called), but I'm guessing it is something like that. Three blocks of exercises, each repeated three times.

At the beginning of each block the instructor runs through each of the eight moves per block. And then you're supposed to be able to put those all together and go through the routine three times.

If you've ever seen a show with people in a dance class it's like that. They show you the routine once and you're expected to memorize it and execute it.

That is so not me.

So we go through what I think is the first block of eight exercises. I was dripping. David too. We looked at each other like, 'WTF??'  Then the instructor goes, "ok, that was the warm-up".  To which I said aloud, "THAT was the warm-up?"

At least it got laughs from the few people who were there - which consisted of 4 Asian women who showed up expecting yoga. 4 people who take the instructors class elsewhere, 1 other woman, David and myself.

The "1 other woman" bailed on the class after the warm-up.  ....and then there were 10.

I didn't bring water, because I wasn't thinking - so a few times I went back to the dressing room area where there was a water fountain. I tried to keep that to the time between the blocks, but that didn't always work.

Each time I went back there was one of the Asian women either sitting on a couch or looking through a sale rack. And to be clear, it was never the same woman. They just rotated out of class and around the store.

There were times that both David and I had the thought of just walking out of the store too.

I don't see myself as being and out of shape guy, but fuck it was hard.  My chest isn't big to begin with but I'm telling you it's not as firm as I thought.  Running in place and lifting your heels to kick your own ass, my boy-boobies were bouncing around.  Blobby needed a sport bra.

I can't remember sweating so much. But we stuck it out but with the promise never ever to return.

It might be Insanity, but I ain't crazy.



Song by:  Lindsey Buckingham

Take a Walk

In the never ending quest to keep Petey entertained, I took the man to Acacia Reservation.

Until less than a year ago, Acacia used to be a country club.  For years, members were wondering if they could save it or sell it - and if the latter, would it be retained as a country club.

Of course, the idea was to sell it for retail development, because if we need anything in this life, it's more stores to shop for nothing in.  Beachwood and Lyndhurst has more than enough of that.

But the powers that be sold (or gave?) it to the metro parks and it is now, as Quasimodo might say "a sanctuary!"

Currently, it is still very much golf course looking. The rough is rougher, but the fairways are still short, as are the greens. But you can see that the plan is to grow it all in to be more wild.

Petey was kind of in his element, though he's never been in a place like this.  The grass we went in (I tried to stay off cart paths) was belly-high.  To be clear - his belly, not mine.  It's like he was on a fox hunt.

But Pete has a walking problem - he doesn't know when too much is too much.  He'll keep plugging away on his jaunt and when it's time to come home, he won't move.  It's not that he can't, but he won't. Perhaps part is that he can't.  He is an aging man.

What he doesn't do on these walks is drink.  I carry his LL Bean collapsible bowl with me along with a bottle of water.  I pour, I set it down, he looks at me like "what the fuck, dude?"  He's panting like a maniac, but he'd rather be stubborn than take his dad's help.  Just like a son!

This walk was different.  The outside temps were pushing 90. We tried to stay in the shade, but there were 1,209,773 new smells to be smelled and 43,001 new trees to pee on.  Eventually we'd sit under a tree (that he didn't urinate on) - forced rest stops for him - and he was hot enough that two of those times, he drank.

It wasn't enough water (my opinion), but it was a start. It got us through the rest of the walk and back to the car.

I find it important to take Petey on car rides that don't end with the kennel or vet. I think he liked it, but there weren't a lot of folks out and about - and we didn't run into another dog, though he did see geese and of course, squirrels.

The adventure completely knocked him out for hours after we got home (where he drank his entire bowl of water).  He was in his bed and out like a light within three minutes.  Tops.

We'll try Acacia again, and maybe get David and Ted to join us, along with Petey's other dad. Maybe we'll walk the back nine that time.


Song by: Eddie Vedder & Neil Finn

One Step Forward

I got my fitbit for the holidays last year and usually I am pretty good about wearing it most of my waking hours.

Actually, I feel cheated out of recorded steps as I walk to and from the bathroom when I wake up and am nekkid, so not tracking my steps.

As I mentioned yesterday, I no longer wear it to bed for my sleep activity. It's a great concept, but eh - they say you can't change what you don't measure.  I don't know how measuring my sleep will help me change that aspect of me.

But it took me four full months to actually hit or exceed the set goals for the week.

Yes, I hit one of them on a daily basis, but rarely three and never for an entire week.  Work and weather are the culprits that get in the way.  And yes, it is easy to blame them, but I'm not walking outside for 10,000 steps when it's 18 degrees.  Being chained to a desk most of the days isn't a great way to hit your goals either.

BUT  - it has started to warm up and I'm getting out more with the dog.  On last Saturday, I did almost 19,000 steps.  fitbit called me an 'overachiever'.   Maybe it's just me, but I take that as a slam.  Usually the nerds are called that - and yes, I am a nerd, I get that, but......ouch.

It doesn't hurt that a few weeks ago I returned to the gym.  Yes, I had been doing yoga twice a week, but I'm up to four times per week currently - two of those classes being 90 minutes long.  Now yoga doesn't really get me many steps or floors climbed, but it gets me out - and I purposefully start parking farther away from the gym.

I've also started lifting again. Just curls. I don't think my shoulder is where it needs to be for benching anything and I've come to the realization that it might never be there again.

As much as I'd like to have a more defined body, I have gotten to the place in my head where I am ok with that might not actually happen.  Still, I'm leaps and bounds over where I've ever been, so that might just end up being my peace.

This is not to say I've given up.

No, I'm just mentally resetting expectations.  In certain ways I miss lifting, in others, I don't.  I'd like to be able to get back "there", but I'm an old man in deteriorating body - what can be done until Oscar Goldman is my boss and has extra money in his budget?

I feel better about being back at the gym.  It feels right.



Song by:  Paul Young

All Over the World

Back in 2003, when I started this blog thingy, some of my first posts were about my friend Morty as he ran his first Boston Marathon.

I've said it before, they were more like 'tweets', that is before Twitter existed.  I was doing individual posts as I followed him through his race and tracked his progress.  The entries were quite weak.

Morty, however, is not.

Last week he completed running a marathon on all seven continents!   Yes, you read that right - every single continent.

I couldn't be more proud of him.

Allegedly, he never planned to achieve this goal.  I'm not sure if he opted to complete this after running in Australia or Asia.  I joked long ago that he could only do six, as I'm sure that Antarctica did not have a marathon.  He educated me on that - as they do.

He could have educated me on Europe too.  Regardless of being in Europe for about four weeks he did not run a race at that point.  He went to Iceland last year to run up in Reykjavik.  I kind of forgot that Iceland was part of Europe. It seems removed, doesn't it?

Back when he ran in Australia, years ago, I was way impressed. The day before leaving for England's penal colony, he ran the Columbus marathon. Then he was on a long long plane ride. The day after arrival, another marathon.  Crazy!

In Africa, he ran a marathon and then scaled Kilimanjaro.  Muy impressive.

But this time, he really knocked it out of the park.

While he was to run in Antarctica and then Punta Arenas a few days later, Mother Nature did not quite cooperate, as that bitch rarely does.  Folks could not get to the South-ish Pole, though clearly the organizers built in for this - changing the run date as needed until participants could arrive.

The problem was, the Punta Arenas one didn't seem like they'd change the date accordingly.

As luck (?) would have it, weather did clear and he was able to run both marathons - within 30 hours of each other.  Oy.

...and he said it was 57 miles.  That I don't understand.  26.2 + 26.2 do not = 57.  I'm guessing there was some kind of penguin pile-up they had to detour around.

Or he might have had to run out of site if he had to go #2.  Antarctica has a no-impact policy.  Yes, runners had to carry bags and such to clean up after themselves if the need arose....or I guess, descended.

Personally, I'd have held it in at all costs just to prevent potential probable frostbite on my tukus.

It was a great goal he achieved, but the idea of frozen butt or public defecation would keep me in the hotel watching SVU re-runs.

Still - what a great goal to have and I have nothing but admiration for the man. He's had some fun and got to see some great places along the way.  Of course, he almost always gets my admiration and always my friendship.




Song by:  Electric Light Orchestra

Lift Me Up

I had my doc appointment yesterday and there were no surprises:  labs good. health good. we agreed on a colonoscopy in 1.5 years. He prefers to have them done in summer, as you can chill the prep drinks that you'll eventually poop out...and it's easier to drink chilled mag-citrate during warm months.

But he asked about other stuff going on and I mentioned my food pain. I'll give him this, in a matter of minutes he had an orthopod on the phone and I was headed to radiology to get my feet and then foot x-rayed.

They use lasers or something to line up the shot just right. How cool is that.  I had to hold a lead sack over my junk as to not absorb more radiation.  Did they not know I also had to take a pic?



Eh - it's not like I was going to have kids anyway. And it's not like there was enough radiation in those three x-rays to do damage.  The bigger threat was the front desk staff who couldn't seem to check me in.

Then it was off to orthopedics.  Mind you, it was my most pain-free day, so I don't think they could get a grasp of what I was trying to tell them could drive me almost to tears and I'm never good at describing pain.

I left with a few things: one being a pair of orthotic inserts for my shoes.

The left one holds little purpose. The right one, which is more opaque has a very steep slant from right to left, which you can almost see by the cloudiness of the rubber in the picture, with the right being the thickest part of the insert.  710 says it will make me taller - these lifts.

The other thing I left with was for an appointment to get a mold of my foot to make a custom pair of orthotic inserts.  After that, it will take 4-6 weeks to come in.

I also have a possible explanation for my perpetually dry feet:  athlete's foot.  It doesn't itch - there is seemingly no fungus, unless that manifests itself in dry / cracked skin.  Either way, I'll be using an anti-fungal to see if that helps.  And I'll be buying a pair of shower shoes for the gym. Ugh - one more thing to pack.

What?  TMI?

You knew what you signed-up for when you opted to read this blog.  Suck it up.



Song by: Bruce Springsteen

We Can Work It Out

I don't get it - it's almost the end of January and there are still hangers-on at the gym. Shouldn't all of these people just have dropped off the face of the gym-earth?  Sure they still have to pay their monthly fee, but it's a small price to keep the floor open for the rest of us.

Actually, the number of people who are at the gym at 05:30 has risen, but I don't see that many new faces. Maybe those folks who are here and there are now just here.

It's problematic - for me. I mean, DUH!

The weight room is more crowded and I find myself standing waiting for certain weights. But the bigger issue is the shower.

The locker room has seven shower heads. At 07:00, I always get my shower and there is rarely anyone else in there. The other day, all seven were taken. Sure, I was at my station, but what if...............what if.........    The horror.

On the plus side, in that shower were two of the hotter more attractive of our membership. One is newer and pretty to look at.  The other guy has been around for a year. Very attractive and a great workout routine.  He's one of these guys that I see each time I'm at the gym and we acknowledge each other with a nod when coming and going.  Of course, now it is far too late to actually say anything or introduce ourselves.

And as 2012 goes, I'm not spending all my time in the weight room. I'm getting nowhere there. I mean, I"m sure I am, but not my final destination - not Final Destination VII.

Actually I think I have just plateaued on my routine. I've gone back to the Matrix machines - or what used to be Nautilus. I'm working different muscles and working out a different way and hoping that helps. Mentally it was tough to leave the big boy room. I feel it took me so long to earn my place there, that I have to give it up.

I'm still go in and start my day there - marking my territory as it were, and to silently nod to handsome man, but I'm no longer there for an hour.

If it doesn't pay off - body-wise - then I'll have wasted some good viewing time.

I guess there's always the shower.



Song by:  the Beatles

King of Pain

I have dubbed myself, Sir Loin.

Nah, like Collis B. Tumor, I'm in pain all day, all night (sorry, that's a joke for 5 people and five people only).  Hopefully not for long.

You remember when I used to write all about my gym & exercise exploits?  Notice how I haven't been for the last few months?  I kind of fell off of the 4-5 times a week visits to the gym.  It went down to more like 4-5 times per month.  ....and then there was last month.

You might have seen the video I made of my November travels for work.  I wasn't home a heck of a lot, so I didn't go to the gym a heck of a lot.  And by heck of a lot, I mean:  at all.

No frets.  I'm back.  But at what price?  Oddly enough,  I not only maintained my weight, but lost some - at  which I am not complaining.  Maybe it was all muscle that I lost and not fat.

True, my Spin and complete cardio routine went to hell in April with my tendinitis.  I am still suffering, but maybe not quite as much.  Don't scold but I'm waiting until first of the year to see someone.  It's tied to my benefit package and my deductible.  So that is Pain #1.

Pain #2 would be what I'm experiencing these last few days.  I dove right back into my weight lifting routine, and my ab routine. Still no cardio. And now I have big body ache routine going on.  I can't cough, sneeze or laugh, as it hurts my abdominal muscles to do so.  My back aches, but in a good using muscles kind of way.  My upper arms ache.  My chest hurts, but not in that having an MI kind of way.  Just in that too many bench presses kind of way.

Pain #3 is a real pain.  I experienced this a year or so back but it had not really bothered me for a bit.  It's back with full-force (no Lisa Lisa or Cult Jam):  my left shoulder and elbow.  Cable pulls hurt it.  Squats makes me tear up.  Curls are a major hassle.  I should probably get that looked at too - but at the first of the year.  Hey!  It's only 28 days away.  29 with the New Year's holiday.

Now for the worst kind of Pain:  #4.  Backsliding

I can't lift as much as I used to.  That is to be expected.  I have to earn that back and I totally get that.  But most importantly, I had stopped comparing myself to other guys at the gym.  Their routine, their goals, their definition was theirs and not mine.  I finally stopped feeling bad about myself and how I didn't look and tempered my unrealistic expectations.  Alas, they are all back.  Every single one of the neurosis:  the envy, the doubt, the feeling I'm in 3rd grade and can't climb the fucking rope.

I don't doubt I'll get past that.  I'm putting the art of yoga to work for me:  this is my practice!  No one else's.  Still, it jabbed at me most of the week at the gym.  I didn't much like the guy curling next to me and he started at 105 lbs.....in each hand, and increased the weight from there.  FUCK YOU!   You're making us all look bad.   I don't care how attractive you are.

Oh the pain.  The pain.



Song by:  Alanis Morissette

Committed

I have been a gym slacker the last month.  I know, right?

Between me being gone at least half the month (in business days on business trips), the July 4th holiday, getting drunk with visiting friends in Columbus and then a week of being sick,  I think I made it to the gym - honest to g-d - maybe four times. Maybe.

This is quite a difference of going a minimum of four times per week, some of those being twice a day - or six workouts per week.

It's a slippery slope, because not only was I not going, I began to not care that I wasn't going (did that come out right?).  And then I actually became very ok with not going.

Not going, not getting up at 05:00 to be there by 05:30 was a nice break in routine.  Sleeping in - well, for me - was a treat.    ....and I didn't feel guilty in the least.

But then I started feeling guilty about not feeling guilty.

And last weekend, at a dinner we went to down the street, our friends Marty and Joe asked why they hadn't seen me at the gym.  Even though, in my head, I listed the reasons I did at the beginning of this post, I didn't really find them legit enough to say aloud.   I asked the same of another guest, Keith, why I hadn't seen him for months and months and months.   He just up and quit and was done with it.

I kind of felt vindicated by his reaction and then a little horrified by mine.

So yesterday, I was back at 05:30.  I need to get myself back on track.

Now the crowd at that time is always the same crowd, but it's not a talky bunch.  I see these guys and gals daily but know very few of them and talk to even less.  But I can't tell you how many people did talk to me - well at me:  "where have you been?"   Apparently I was missed.


Mind you, the cute cute cute young doctor was not one of the ones who said that.  But he did do a double take along with his normal nod to me.  He always nods.  It's been a year,  and it's too late now to actually talk and introduce ourselves.  That'd just be weird.

And on the way out,  Andy, my spin instructor, did a double take on his way in.  Apparently in the month I've been "off" he is now a kettle bell instructor too.  ....and an orthodontist.  The man just keeps going deeper and deeper into sadist territory.

So do I.  I'm back at the gym.  Break's over!



Song by:  Jenny & Johnny

The Ledge

Sunday we went on a hike.  Yes, a hike.

Not a long one, but a fun and pretty one.

Denton had never been to Virginia Kendall Park and there had been an article in the Sunday paper on it, so off we went.

I had been there.  Often.

When running cross country in high school, this park was the location of many a practice.  Not on the hiking trails - those were too rough for that kind of run.  So I have been there, just not in this capacity.

For the most part, we stuck to the Ledge Trail - and yes, it is what it sounds like - a bunch of rock formations that equate to a number of high and potentially dangerous ledges.

But it was shaded and cool(er) on this 90+ degree day.  Not cool enough where we weren't all sweaty halfway though, but still it was nice - and the scenery was quite impressive.  Most of these things you do not see in most of Ohio.

So now, a few pictures, because I know you come here more for those than my words.

I loved this sign. ..and the vandalism on it.  Of course, I went to the edge to have my picture taken and got "caught" by a park ranger.  We were all good. 

I saw this sign and immediately thought of Becky....and the Simpsons.

"No, they weren't all happy days. Like the time Pinky Tuscadero crashed her motorcycle, or the night I lost all my money to those card sharks and my dad, Tom Bosley, had to get it back."

This is Icebox Cave.  Really - it's about 20 degrees cooler (at least) than outdoors.  Even 20 feet away from the opening.  It was very refreshing.....and dark....and a bit scary.  There were supposed to be drawings of horses and some portraits dating back.......50 years!!!! (ooooh), but we never saw them.

I got a boo-boo on my hand falling down some slippery rocks. It looks like a stigmata, so now I know how Jesus felt.   ...and by Jesus, I meant the guy who sometimes tends our gardens, who probably hurts himself on pruning shears once a year.

I had no bottled water with me to clean the wound, so I improvised with spit until I could do what was needed.  Lovely, huh?

Can you believe how this natural rock formation just happened to resemble and function as a stair case?

Some actual rock formations.  I wish I had more than my iPhone with me.  I couldn't help but think how my cousin could have taken pictures that would have done this place justice. 

.....and yours truly standing atop the overlook for the hike.  It's mostly just Cuyahoga Valley National Park, but it was still very neat to be up there.

Song by:  Fleetwood Mac

Too Slow to Ride

It's been a long two and one half months, but as of yesterday evening, I'm back at Spin class.

Honestly, it's been over two months since I've done any Cardio.

I may have mentioned the last time I did Spin, what turned out to be Tendinitis in my right foot, was so painful I was on the verge of tears, but I stayed through the class - probably like a moron.

Any cardio hurt, so I stopped doing it....altogether.  (It's an Airplane joke, folks.)  I would love to say I missed cardio - but that'd be a lie.  I missed the routine of it, but not the act of it.  I missed Andy.

Of course, Andy only did Spin class.  I stopped treadmill, stairmaster and elliptical.  I actually had to - that is how much pain there was.

I finally saw a doc who I thought told me to take 800mg of ibuprofen a day.  It turns out he said it incorrectly or I did not hear him correctly.  It was supposed be take 800 three times a day.  2400mg.  Quite a difference.

...and it has made all the difference.  Is it 100% better?  Noooooooooooo.

Can I make it through an airport without cursing under my breath that I had to walk 4000 yards?  Sometimes.  Which is better, because before it was all the time.

So I have been a week almost entirely pain free.  Not completely, but mostly.   So I went for it.

Adny did a double take as I walked in the class and took my rightful seat in the front of the room.  He started to say something and I said, "no snarky comments".  He just shut his jaw.

In truth, he's seen me at the gym and has known of my "situation".  He's been kind and even though he's a doctor of teeth and such, he gets disease states.

Let me tell you - a few months of no cardio, then jumping back into it, leaves one tired, winded, thirsty and totally wiped out.   But I made it through with no major pain.

I'll try again Saturday to see if I can keep this up......or I can keep my waistline down.   ....and to see Andy.



Song by:  Nina Gordon

Put Yourself in My Shoes

There is something about being a 40-something, isn't there? And it ain't all good.

My sister once said, you can tell the elderly when they start comparing their maladies. You can now count me in that group. You probably always could.

If it weren't one of my surgeries, then it was my time in physical therapy for my back. If it's not an injured shoulder, then it's my elbow. Oy.

I guess it would be no surprise to know that for the last month or so the outside of my right arch on my foot has been aching.

Is it all the walking I do to catch planes all the time? Is it the constant trips to the gym? Is it that they can't support all of my two tons of weight? All of the above?

Right now I am blaming my shoes, because that is easier than making and keeping an appointment with a podiatrist.

So I was at Blood Bath & Beyond and saw this nifty Dr. Scholls diagnostic machine thingy. And right there in the store, I went down to my es oh si que es (think about it!!!!) l and did the standing and electronic evaluating of my feet.

To be fair, I was more interested in getting a good picture (those are my actual feet graphically represented in that title image) than following the instructions just so. Lift right foot......now....left. So many things to do, I couldn't be bothered. But really, what are the chances that Dr. Scholls is doing to tell me not to buy one of their $49.99 products and that they'd tell me that my feet are "fine"? Zero.

I was so confident in this assumption that I made asked Denton do it too. While he didn't get the exact same product suggestion, the price was still the same on the one they did choose for him. Shocking!

At some point, I probably will go to the doctor, because it is doubtful it will go away on its own. And spinning has been some of the most painful to do. Frick - and with outdoor biking season right around the corner.

So I didn't help stimulate the economy with a purchase from the good Dr. S, but I did go out and splurge on a new pair of New Balance shoes.

Black and grey are different for me. And the black is shiny!!!! I'm usually a guy who has white cross-trainers, though my spin/bike shoes are not. I'd love to go with the Modern Family quote of "if it ain't white, it ain't right" - but taken out of context, as it was in the show, it just comes across badly - doesn't it?

The shoes seem comfortable and they are my first pair in two years. The other ones had to go. Well...they're not gone. I'll wear them to cut the lawn and get grass stains on them. But their soles were separating from the bottom of the shoe and they stopped supporting me a while back. So maybe new shoes are the key to recovery.

And for inquiring minds: they are size 11.

You know what they say about big feet. ............big shoes.



Song by: Clint Black

Lifted

I've given myself - or am giving myself - an early holiday present. Or a very very very late one. Probably the latter.

Last Sunday was my first session with a personal trainer.

A present to myself. To my health. To my vanity.

I guess it is a little too little, it's a little too late. It would have probably been better for me to do this at 37 than 47, but hey, I'm doing it.

I've got two places in my head - one that knows I won't and can't have the body I desire, yet on the other, the smallest sliver that maybe, just maybe, I can. 47 seems too late to start that pipe dream, but I'm going for it anyways.

Yes, I've been working out diligently over the last two years, and I like to think I know what I'm doing, but in reality I don't. I lift, I pull, I tug, I sit up, I pull up, etc, and it all seems logical what I'm doing, but I don't know the physiology behind it all and that what I'm doing will help me obtain my goals.

Sunday was basically my evaluation. We ran through my current routines. Then we went over any physical stuff I have - the good and the bad. You know, bad backs, metal plates and pin in legs, stuff like that.

Chris (that's my trainer's name) and I then took 30 minutes to go over some other exercises I should be doing to not only to provide me greater strength, but to assist with exercise-induced growth hormones.

The EIGR will eventually help me lift differently and possibly more, but it will help develop the muscle for more definition, which is really what I'm looking for. Like I said: vanity.

And I should clarify on 'lift'. Pressing is more harmful then pulling or squeezing. It's not that I can't or shouldn't bench press, but it's probably not the best for me. I have been given alternative ways to work the same muscles. And Chris did give me a number of core exercises to do - new ones and tough ones. Lots and lots of squats.

My legs and abs are sore Sore SORE. Or as Denton childes, "soreness you paid for".

They were sore immediately after the workout and increasingly so since. But sore in a good way. Still, today's workout should prove to be interesting as I will be burning off calories by all the wincing I will be doing. I can barely walk.

I did not hire one of these yell-at-me-to-motivate-me kind of trainers. I don't respond to that. Well, I do, but my response is to shut-down, not to be inspired by. Chris is a nice guy who knows his stuff - and is a triathlete. While that's not what I'm going for, he seems to know how to connect.

And I have a few weeks before I really start with him. Chris is off for a few weeks due to having hernia surgery. He's already had one, so we commiserated on that, since I've had two as well. But I could go back to work earlier, since my job didn't require, well.....lifting weights.

So I'll get through the holidays before 10 weeks of personal training begins - or my first ten weeks, if I think I need/want more. But I've signed up - which is the biggest step and I've beat those pesky New Year's resolutioneers (I'm sure that's a word!) to the punch.


Song by: the Eurythmics

O Captain My Captain

Somehow I got duped into being the captain of our wellness team at work.

Maybe I should be honored that when corporate decided to have a wellness challenge a number of people asked me to join their team. A late comer was my direct boss who thought our division should have our own team.

No one in our division works out of the same office. We are spread out from Connecticut to Missouri to Atlanta. Even the few from Philly don't work from the same office.

Anyhooo....I kind of volunteered for the gig of team captain only because I thought someone else took the job and I was just trying to score points for "making the attempt".

The joke was on me: the other person just said he'd participate, not head the team.

No worries. I'm fine with being team captain, and of course, I'm doing it with humour. My motivational messages have been tongue-in-cheek. I know that better health and exercise cannot be dictated and that everyone doesn't have the same desire, goals or skill set.

The first two weeks will be just to see how many more steps you can do in a day - with the help of recording them from a pedometer.

I've been wearing mine for about two weeks (the challenge didn't officially start until yesterday) just to get baselines on what I do on gym days versus non-gym days. It's quite amazing actually on how much I do versus how much I think I do. And Spin class does not rack up as many 'steps' as you might think. I think the pedaling doesn't record them the same way as walking.

An man will walk an average of 7200 steps per day. 5200 for women. On some charts, 9,999 is considered 'somewhat active'. Even as much as I walk per day, or on the elliptical or treadmill, I have yet to reach the 10,000 mark. So I'm only 'somewhat active'........or below that.

The sad fact is, I'm more active than most on my team, so this will be an interesting 12 weeks of doing and recording activity for all of us.

My thing is: even if it gets them thinking more about it, I've done my job.



Song by: David Broza

I Run for Life

Oooh - I started running (again) yesterday.

It's probably not a big thing, I just have little to blog about today.

I used to run. I used to run a lot. When I was in high school I ran cross country and track - well, track for one year. I hated it - both track and cross country.

However, when you're 6'2", and 125 lbs, very few high school sports are open to you. running and golf. I sucked at both. So each day I would run 10-17 miles for practice and be resentful at every stride I had to take. Oddly enough, I liked my coach (no, not that way!).

But the day cross country ended, I swore never to run again - and I had pretty much stuck to that. Not completely, but pretty much.

For my cardio routine at the gym, I've done LifeCycle, recumbent bicycling, the elliptical and would walk brisk paces on the treadmill. Oh, and Spin. But I have avoided running - until yesterday.

I'm not sure what got into me - though I suspect Morty and Jon inspire me with their talks of marathons and half-marathons. I was on the treadmill and about halfway through my 30 minute routine, I just kept upping the pace and soon I was running at a decent clip - and I just kept it up. And guess what? I kind of enjoyed it.

I only ran about two miles, but I felt good doing it (lung capacity-wise) and by the time I was done, like everything else I do lately, I was sweating like a pig. It felt good and it was a nice change from my other cardio stuff.

I clearly have issues though. I had trouble finding a good gait. I seemed heavy-footed on the moving walkway, but if I keep it up, I think I'll find my way.

Blobby is not planning on running any races, just finding something to mix up the routine so it is not so routine.

Next goal: the fucking StairMaster! (just in due time. I'm in no rush there.)


Song by: Melissa Etheridge

Happy Now?

Actually, I am.

Happy Happy??? I don't know about that. I am after all - ME! There has to be a certain amount of displeasure in what I say or do to make me the curmudgeon that makes me, me.

But as I said last week when I got my blood drawn that I would be 'somewhat devastated' if my HDL didn't return higher than it had been. Let's just say I'm not devastated.

Through the power of the Electronic Medical Record and Secure Messaging, I had access to my lab results before my doctor's appointment next week. Sweeeeeeeeet.

Well, sweet because the results are decent. Not great, but decent.

I'm not giving you access to all my results but it is safe to say they were all in normal ranges. However, it was the HDL that has been giving me headaches for the last, um....well.....decade.

Even still with this increase, I'm at the low end of normal, possibly still low, period. Wikipedia says normal low/medium is 40. Where I get my healthcare, they says 45. I am now a 40. I'd feel better if I were a 45.

As you can see, I haven't been this close to "normal" since 2000 (yes, these are my actual graphed HDL results - thanks to that EMR). In the past, I never did heed the call of diet and exercise before - not really. Finally I got on the exercise wagon, but the diet train has pretty much left the station without me.

I'm kind of excited to see the doc next Monday - you know, to get all the accolades for my improvement. I'm pretty sure had I not made these strides, I would have been goaded into taking medication(s) to get me to a normal level. I think I've dodged that bullet.

Now I'm pretty sure I can inch closer to 45 and stay there. I feel fairly confident that my gym routine is there and won't wane.

So, I guess there is something to say for better living.


Song by: No Doubt

Turning Up the Heat

Yesterday was my first true foray into getting back into Spin with Andy. Yeah, I went for a partial session the other week and then a full session last week, but the instructor for that 60 minutes was not Dr. Andy.

Andy is tougher than the other dude, whom I've seen but never did catch his name. I mean, he opted to wear a fanny pack during our "ride". People, these are stationary bikes. He wasn't going to need his wallet, chapstick or EuroRail card. He (the other guy, not Andy), had us do this mock drill like we were riding the Tour de France. Puh-leese!

btw....as a group, we totally won the race!

But for all my whining about that guy, he did have us do a few drills that were good and different, and while I loathe to admit it, every now and again, change is good. Sure it goes outside of my patterns that I've established for comfort levels, but..............

Yesterday though - can I say, even though it was a tough class, it wasn't the toughest. Can I also tell you, I have never sweated so much in my life. I've probably been hotter, but not during exercise.

I was wearing a white sweat-wicking shirt and in theory you shouldn't really see the dampness, but there was no hiding it. And peeling that shirt off after class was a chore.

Oh, and I did step back on the scale yesterday too. After the other week and that 6 lb weight gain, I wasn't sure if I was up for the challenge, but it's better to know than bury my head, I suppose.

Mr. Scale says I lost 3 lbs. As much as I would like to believe that I lost it, I suppose the gain might have been a blip or a scale malfunction. I just have never lost 3 lbs in two weeks. Either way, I'm still above the weight I had once fallen to, but I'll get there. (and speaking of weight - today is Pi(e) Day. Well, it is at 1:59. And apparently, it is also Steak and a BJ day too. I'm sure you all wanted to know.)

So, I'm back to Spinning. And it's time for me to get the regular biked serviced so it's all ready to go once the weather is a little warmer.


Song by: Any Trouble

I'm Looking Through You

So, the doc appointment is over. But then again, it's not. C'mon - no one thought it would be, right? One appointment? Get over yourselves.

No news is good news - right? Probably. And wouldn't you know it - the day of my appointment and it was the best day I had since the fall. Yeah, that should be great, but I wanted the doc to see the extent of my damage. I mean - I'm paying for this!

She put me through a series of evaluations of walking. Well, walking, prancing, mincing dancing ....you know, the standards.

At one point she had me sit on that exam table and flex my feet. Oddly enough, that hurt my back. Nothing else did.

When going through my medical history she became very concerned about my "cured" cancer (is anyone ever really cured?). It never occurred to me that somehow the cancer had returned - 15 years later - and spread to my spine. Oddly enough - it did to her. It's great she's looking out for me that way, but in reality, I had to talk her through what kind of cancer it was, as she had never heard of it. ....but let's panic the patient anyway. Oy.

So, she came to the conclusion that it was probably not cancer related. Duh.

She offered me stronger pain meds that were not narcotic based, but I didn't bother with those. What was the point? Maybe I'll reconsider if the pain goes back to where it was and continues on. If not, then I'll do OTC stuff.

She prescribed x-rays (see image above) and physical therapy. I did the first task immediately. I let them irradiate my insides, just to continue my on-going sterilization process. But I didn't immediately bite at scheduling PT.

Personally, I would like to know what we're working with here. I think physician and the therapists would too. You can treat the ache, I suppose, but don't we really want to know the cause so we can tailor that to the targeted problem?

I'm supposed to go back in three weeks. Until then - I'm not allowed supposed to Spin or do Yoga. Pffffffffffffttt


Song by: the Beatles

Round & Round

It's a miracle. I made it to (and through) SpinFest II.

Seriously, the 'to' part was nothing short of a miracle. I was taking Tylenol and codeine for my back up until Wednesday. And miracle of miracles, I woke up Thursday with some stiffness, but very little pain. Ditto for Friday.

I had already paid, so I though, WTF, I'm gonna ride. And ride I did - for 2 hours.

This was the venue before start-time. People could ride/pay in 30 minute increments, and I'd say about half of us paid for the entire 120 minutes. Yes, paid. All proceeds went to the Free Clinic of Greater Cleveland.

The bikes were assigned and damn it if I didn't get the last row (I'm #45 there) and I got stuck with a shitty LeMond bike. I prefer the grey Schwinns. They're sturdier, they are better rides and as it turns out, better built.

I'm the guy in the back row, white shirt, black shorts. 2nd from the left. The guy with little hair.

You can kind of catch a glimpse of part of me here, right past the person in deep blue who is blocking my photographic moment (as always, click image to enlarge)

In the 100 or so Spin classes I've been to this last year, I haven't seen any one of the Schwinns break. That is what we use in our gym, but they had to import the LeMond bikes in for the extra folks.

Oddly (or maybe not), I could get my left foot into the clip easily...but I it didn't stay. I can't tell you how many times it became free. And on the right one, I wasn't sure it would ever go in, but when it finally did, there was almost no getting it out - even if you wanted to.

But everyone else on the LeMonds were having a lot more trouble than I was. Pedals fell off. Handle bars would not stay up. The drink holder thingy wouldn't stay on. ....and hydrating yourself during an event like this is critical.

It wasn't a normal spin class, obviously. Five instructors, no cohesiveness to the ride, all of them had different styles and the music was crappy. They tried to appeal to everyone which turned out probably not appealing to most anyone. When they started out with "Flashdance" and moved into Scandal's "The Warrior", I knew we were in for a bad time. It was almost a sigh of relief when they finally played "Single Ladies" from Beyonce.

....I said "almost".

Oh...oh...oh....and in the last half hour, they brought in - get this - a live gospel choir! I shit you not. Can I tell you how many of the riders this might have appealed to, if were going by racial stereotypes? One.

Can I tell you how many of the riders were Jewish, if you went by the sign-up list? I'd say about 85%. So songs about Jebus setting us free didn't really really resonate with most of the crowd.

Besides that, the gym floor, as you can see, is a nice one. Having women in 4-6" spiked heels walk and dance on it - not the bestest of ideas. Having one woman with a mic and 16 others (estimated) with none, care to guess how many people you could ever hear sing? It's a gym! There are no acoustics for something like this. That part of the event was flawed at every turn.

So two hours of spin went ok. So far, no repercussions ala my back, so I'm taking it as a win. Maybe I can get back on the exercise wagon - slowly and more carefully. I mean, I've gained 1.5lbs in the last two weeks!

Update: I pre-wrote this, as I knew I was catching a plane to TN. Spinning might not be the cause of my back, but right now it aggravated it. It took 30 hrs or so to kick in, but kick in it did. Sore sore sore. I have packed the T3s to take while I work. Yeeehaw.

Song by: New Order