It All Depends On You

This is internet gold. 

BLOTUS' speech in North Carolina this last weekend - no one knows what it was about, because eventually he stepped from behind the podium. 

First reports were that his tailor just hated him. 

I mean, that could SO be the case, right? And chances are, said tailor got stiffed for making his suits - and to add insult to injury had to measure his inseam {shudder!!!}. 

But then people took note. 

There is no fly on his pants, leading to the thought that this dumbfuck put his pants on backwards. Some have said the glare from the light obscured the view of the zipper. 

I'm all for a good conspiracy - I mean, isn't that what the GOP loves?  - but honestly, I think someone would know that as you buckle up, you're not doing it from behind. 

Still............the cut. The creases. The fit. 

Then came the diaper theories.  

This all makes much more sense. 

He is 74. Or something. Incontinence isn't out of the realm of possibility probability. Still all those shows on the golf course always looks like he's been carrying around a full load in his pants anyways. The incontinence might not just be urine. Fecal could be playing a part. 

G-d I hope it is. 

While I get Pappy Joe's Rehoboth Beach photo op on a bike was probably just that (he probably went around the corner, got off the bike and into a car), at least he looked vibrant, not that he just pinched a loaf in Greenville, NC

Honestly, I might have just written this whole entry just to write 'pinched a loaf'. It's just a bonus that it is directed at this turd of a man. 

Song by: Frank Sinatra

Seeing is Believing

My eye exam last week turned into a retail outing, as you might expect. 

I haven't had a new pair of glasses since 2018. I was in need. Literally. 

My last pair, I might have had on a piece of furniture where I sat then leaned on them. They might be fixable, but possibly not. So I've been wearing pairs that are older and well, less seeable. 

Blobby hates shopping, but kind of digs eye glass shopping. I don't wear jewelry or watches, so glasses are kind of my...vice? Is that even the right word? 

Just recently - and by that, I mean yesterday - I finally gave away (read: donated) five pairs of old glasses. They'll match them with someone with my near and far sightedness and astigmatism. 

It is the first time I've given away any frames. Though the lenses were old and useless to me, I was unable to part with them. 710 says I'm the Imelda of eye glasses. I fear in a few years, if not already passed, that cultural reference will be lost. Probably right along with Lorena Bobbitt. 

So I kind of like to go glass shopping, though I fear I am not good at it. I act on impulse, not necessarily practicality. I think I might also be highly influenced.  

Bob, at the place I usually got glasses, had a way of steering me to things he thought I would like - and I did - but were always the most expensive thing in the store. Now that he is gone, his daughter Cathy has the same "gift".  I usually end up regretting my choice a few months in. Or I get bored easily. Or both. 

I couldn't tell her what I liked and didn't. It's not that cut and dry for me, though no longer can I wear 'round' frames. It doesn't look good with my Dr. Bunson Honeydew head. So not having a clear view is a problem for her, as with Covid, she has to wipe down every frame we touch. 

Cathy did a great job picking out some cool frames - including the ones in my pic, which oddly was the first pair I put on. 

In this pic, they look black. They are not. They are brown with minimal tortoise flecks in there. I like them a lot. At least for now. But they are crystal clear........and I can see, far and near. 

Song by: Elvis Presley

I Don't Care

There was a line in the movie the Queen, where Tony Blair asks rhetorically of his staff regarding the royals' behavior:  "won't somebody save these people from themselves.....?" 

That's kind of how I feel about the BLOTUS family. All of them. Even that little one, who probably should be separated from his family................by ICE.....or at least Children Services.

In a clan full of absolute morons, it's scary to think, but Melanoma might have been the most sane.

Past tense? Normally I'd say yes, but then I look at the rest of the group and still can't find anyone less moronic.  No worries, she's still in the moron bucket.

I was just about willing to let her stupid fucking ass tweet go during the surge of coverage over separated and imprisoned children.....

(really???  think first!)

.....when she wore the stupidest $29 coat ever produced.....to visit the kiddie koncentration internment camps

Oh, I can't blame the coat. In the right setting, it could be whimsical. Forced Government Orphanages for Non-Whites was not the right setting.

But of all the people she was with in DC, the actual trip and then in Texas, did not one person stop to think and say - "W.T.F., Melanoma?"

Well, I think that answer is obvious.


I will give the entire gang this:  each time they hit a new low and I think they can't surpass it - they do.

Good thing they're not alcoholics - they might never hit rock bottom.




Song by: Fall Out Boy

Steel and Glass

Well, I selected......and they're here.

My new glasses.

As you can see, I ended up going with something from the Far Side Collection™.

I kid.......I kid.

I returned all the Warby Parker models first. There was nothing there I wanted. That was a shame. Some of the frames on the website looked so promising. Yet in the box less so. On my face, even less than that. Granted they had a lot more frames, but not all of theirs are available to try on at home.

Yeah, like that's gonna happen!  I won't even buy shoes on-line because I can't try them on first.

So my choices came down to finding something at the store from which I always select my frames, ones from the David Kind and, somewhere on the back burner that pair for $1,409 was stuck in my mind. It was a dream of course, but.....there it was.

Something Fearsome wrote in my 12 of 12 comments resonated with me to a degree: glasses are a part of one's identity, so I shouldn't skimp on them.

I'm paraphrasing, of course.

Still, I was on the phone or on-line a lot with the David Kind folks. I think there are three people operating out of someone's house. Everyone very nice, but you can hear everything everyone says while on the phone. The house the operate out of must be one from Tiny House Hunters.

I also called the other place about the expensive pair. I was told I could buy the frames (which were fairly reasonable) and have lenses (which were not) made elsewhere. Interesting. I called a few places and all could do it. A comparable lens was about $400 cheaper. Still pricey, but doable. Half the price of the original place.

The rub was, that if by chance a place couldn't do them, I could get a store credit for the frames, but they don't take returns. That's a big gamble for me.

A few days later, on a whim, I called back and talked to someone new. Sure there were other types of lenses that could supported by the frame. Just as clear as the 'digital' lens - for the most part. Oh - and WAY cheaper.

So I went for it. I really liked the frame, so why not?

They don't really photograph well - or I haven't found a way to, but......

They look fairly standard / conservative from a head-on view. 

From the side, the frames look a little darker, but the metal arms give it an edgier look. 

And the vision so far has been great.

I think I'll be happy with them. And as it turns out, they're not my most expensive pair of glasses ever. That title still belongs to my Tag Heuers.  I still love those glasses, but they are eight years old and two prescriptions ago.



Song by: John Lennon

Style Kills

It's fashion show day today.

I got 11 pairs of frames in the mail last week. As much as I need glasses, it took almost a week for me to try them on.

I went with two companies - Warby Parker and a lesser known peddler, David Kind.

Parker it's pretty straight forward: select five frames and they send them to you.

With Kind, you pick three, and my assigned 'stylist', selects another three that they think would work for me. Oh - with Kind, you had to submit a photo so 'my stylist' could fit me better.

Their packaging was much much much better too. They really do it up right. The case was incredible and it comes with a mirror!

When all said and done, on-line, the Parker glasses (or the one frame I really wanted) looked incredible. In person? Not so much. I had a difficult time choosing five frames and as it turns out, only one of them possibly worked.

And maybe what I selected all started to look the same to me, or the stylist went in my direction to a fault.

Let's run through it - shall we?

None of the photos are great. They're plastic non, non-glare lenses. They show all the light everywhere - and it's reflected. It's not optimal.

 A. Mr. Magoo-ish, but I love the lighter shade on the bottom. 

 B. Kind. I like the colouring. But they look a little Far Side-y.

C. Warby Parker. It was a whimsical choice. There is a coloured line of blue that runs around the eyes. It looks like I got it from the Buggles Collection®. 

 D. Not bad. Not bad. David Kind. 

E.  Now I'm Ira from Boca. 

 F. Kind of / Sort of like B.  Slightly different colouring on top. 

G.  I like them, and maybe it's the picture, but they make my eyes look crossed. 

I think I have it narrowed to two. Possibly three. Though I'm not committed to any of them just yet. I might need to throw in contacts and put them on, so I can see clearly how I'd look in them.

Anyone have any constructive criticism? Or any you like or don't?



Song by: Robert Palmer

Doctor My Eyes

As you know, some days I struggle for blog posts.

The pain is real.

But I think I have something where I can milk anywhere from 2-4 posts out of. Maybe not in a row, but still any little bit helps.

710 used to make fun of me (well, maybe past tense is not correct) due to my glasses collection. For a long time, I had about nine pairs of spectacles.

It was great when I wore single vision lenses. Now I have about five pair that are bi-focals progressives, and some are woefully out of date....and style. Yet I keep them and for no good reason.

I do have one pair of single vision lenses that I just adore. My Ogi frames are just great, though so teeny tiny that no way they could ever be progressive lenses. If I know I am going somewhere that I won't be reading anything I can wear them.

And for all 710's ribbing about my glasses, my newest pair are five years old. My last prescription is over three years old. It was time for an upgrade on the script and the hard and soft ware.  Yes, glasses and contacts.

Like last time, I was wow'd by the technology of how they can do eye exams. No more dilation. Barely any more 'number 3 or number 4.......3......or 4....'   The doc doesn't even have to twirl those dials - it's all done by touchpad.  I kid you not.

And then you get the scans of your eyes.

 


There is also an optic nerve and macula scan. I'm all healthy - no glaucoma, no cmv, no diabetes or macular degeneration.

And oddly, little change in my eye sight - like a fraction of a percent for one eye...and 5-6% (which to me isn't so small).

Seriously, ringing me up took longer than the eye exam.  It was great.

I got my contacts in hand before I left the practice and my eyeglass prescription.

So this is one post. But instead of going the traditional route of getting glasses made at my normal place, I'm attempting the on-line market. Two different companies. Possibly three.

As they arrive......I am thinking....





That's right - a blog fashion show of frames.

I'm guessing it will be at least Sunday and maybe Tuesday too.  We shall see.



Song by: Jackson Browne

Wherever I Lay My Hat (that's my home)

The title image has been sitting in my folder of images I've wanted to use and not sure how to incorporate into a blog post.  I've held onto it for almost a year.

I am, by no means, thinking this is going to work.  There is just no easy way to slide in a Hitler reference.  It's even more difficult to do it with Charlie Chaplin.  Who knew?

Before Denton and I went to the movie, which I referenced yesterday, our friends, David & James invited us over to watch the Kentucky Derby.  {sigh}

I don't care all that much about the Derby.  It's hours of prep and excitement for something that's over in a minute and whoever finishes first wins.  In my book, that's called:  sex.

However, since I was picking David & James up for the movie and dinner, we would only be showing up about 15 minutes early to see the race.  I was actually fine with going.

As they escorted all the horsies out the gate, I took notice of their names and deemed that I would root for Pants on Fire.  Mucho Macho Man seemed too gay for me.   Yes - me!

But when David did ask if we would come over, I queried if we had to wear a hat.  His response was 'no'.  BUT - the second the receiver went cold, I had a scathingly brilliant idea.....as I am apt to do.  I got home, did a quick Gooooooogle search and then sent the image to the printer.

A few minutes with a pair of scissors and some tape and I was good to go.

Ruckiry (not Jon's boss), I had completed my task and attaching my creation to my head before getting out of the car, because David met us outside when we pulled up.

The poor man just busted a gut laughing with at me.   ...and yes, I wore it through the entire race and until we went back out to the car to head to the movie.  The plan was to wear it for the car ride to the movie and do the royal wave along the way, but the interior roof of the car kept getting in the way.  I have no idea how Princess....um....what's her name (the dour f'ugly one) stood her ride to and fro the royal wedding.

Much to everyone's disappointment, I had to take it off before we even got out of the driveway.


.....and that is how Hitler and Charlie Chaplin went to the Royal Wedding.    The End.



Song by:  Paul Young

I See You

For some, an impulse item is that pack of Freedent at the cashier counter when you're at the grocery store.

To others, I suppose it's a Corrine Bailey Rae CD at Starbucks when they get their daily half-caf, soy-light, double something or other. ....I don't drink coffee.....can you tell?

....if I could only get off that cheaply.

At the end of last year, when I went to pick out my new glasses, I had it narrowed down to two frames - the ones I got, and the ones I think I really wanted. I like the ones I chose, but honestly, this is the look I was going for.

You know how I say that ads never influence me to buy anything? I lied. Granted, I wasn't buying the car that was what they were selling, I wanted the glasses that John Slattery was wearing in the ad for said automobile.

If internet searches are to be believed - and we all know there are no lies on the web - the frames are from Tom Ford. Mr. Ford can be kind of nice to look at from time to time, but he seems way too full of himself and he just comes across as a twat. And while the frames are not sold in Cleveland, I doubt I'd pay whatever the marked up cost was, even if they were.

So I got what I chose and moved on. Kind of.

The other pair I was John Kerry'ing over, I just couldn't get them out of my mind. So when I went to pick up the pair I actually ordered, I tried on the frames again - and that was my impulse item.

I opted to get them. The frames were actually quite reasonable - it's my lenses that drive up the costs. I'm kind of / sort of blind. I have to get the special poly-carbonate lens or the pressure of the two tons of glass would break the bridge of my nose. Yes, I'm that blind.

In the back of my mind, I kept hearing something my cousin David (yes, him again. He makes a lot of appearances here, doesn't he?) said at lunch the other day about him being Mr. Magoo and I was thinking 'no, that's me.'

I think this could prove my point.

Part John Slattery; part Mr. Magoo. All me.

So I went home with my first pair and I kind of / sort of might have forgotten to mention to the husband that I plunked down some additional cash for yet another pair of glasses. Or as he pointed out the other day, to friends, I might have a few too many pairs already when he called me "Imelda".

So what? Now I have a pair of glasses for every day of the week. Big whoop. To be fair, two of those pair are only single vision and I can't wear them if I have to read anything.....so........there!

Actually, Denton does not begrudge me this luxury at all. I was just teasing, though he did call me "Imelda". And I know I won't buy any new pairs for at least two years now. I'm solid.

Yeah, it's a slightly geek(ier) look - even for me. I think the reason I opted not to get them in the first place was they are almost a bit casual for client meetings. So now I just won't wear them to those meetings.

But I did find out that I don't look as much like Mr. Magoo as I thought. Nor Mr. Slattery. Nope.

I think this is closer to the mark.

Song by: Raul Malo

You Look So Fine

Ahhh....the new eyeglasses have arrived.

Actually, they came in on Thursday, but you know Friday, to go out, I would to have been Nanook of the Northeast Ohio.

It wasn't much better yesterday, but I was already out cuz I went to the gym - yes, I got my sorry ass out of the house to go lift and spin. So after wards, I just trekked up the the glass place and picked them up.

I like them and everything is crisp and clear, not that my prescription has changed in 2+ years. But it's a new and different look. I'm diggin' it. As if anyone else will - who knows.

Almost right after getting home, my mother called and asked us to lunch. Sure she was being nice, but in reality she had three of her grandkids with her and I'm sure wanted a break where she didn't have to be the only one to interact/watch them. ...and hey, it was going to be a free lunch for me - so take that Milton Friedman!

Naturally, Milton got the last laugh on Blobby. Ya had to see that comin'.

Those kids. One opted to point out that my new glasses were 'geeky'. ....and that was just the start.

I can't argue with that, but I purchased them knowing full well of that affect. These kids will one day the desire for a little individualism. They should see the other pair of glasses I wanted to get am getting. Total geek.

Granted, I did not eat the best at lunch. Not the healthiest, that is. My 12 year old niece said it didn't look like I worked out. And at some point, with my flannel, jeans and boots, one of them allegedly said I looked like 'a farmer'. (I didn't hear the comment.)

Eh - at least they didn't say 'lesbian'.

The littlest one told his sister to be nice, since I am kind enough to let them stay over, play games and have fun. I told him he was spreading it on a little thick - especially for a six year old.

My mother didn't say if she liked my glasses or not - so I'm taking it as a 'no'. She did comment on where I got them and 'aren't they expensive there??'. Mommmmmmm.

I have to say, I do like the artsy-fartsy image I took for the title shot (really, click on it to enlarge). But it doesn't give you a great sense of the glasses, per se - does it?

So here you are - or, here they are. On me.

GEEK!

Song by: Garbage

Honey Don't

Oh - no no no no no no no!

Where are the fashion police when you need them??? Was it permissible of me to make a citizen's arrest?

This stunning display of fashion and womanhood was shopping yesterday on Super Puppy Bowl Sunday!!! (way to make me nervous the first half, Saints!)

Need I remind you that I/we live in Northeast Ohio? Need I tell you that 21 was our high temperature for the day? Fahrenheit, not Celsius. Oh, and we had hit that high about 8 hours before this picture was taken.

Lest you think she has a coat/wrap/long-sleeved shirt of any kind in her shopping cart, or being carried by her equally inappropriately dressed male "companion", I can safely confirm she did not.

Well, at least her wrist tattoo isn't completely skanky. Ok - maybe I'm just being nice.


Song by: the Beatles