Sometimes it all comes back to Seinfeld.
That show about 'nothing' that somehow is something when it comes to occurrences you encounter.
I have no songs with the word 'contest' in it, but I'm hedging my bets you've all seen the Seinfeld episode called, "the Contest".
If not - the short description is: four friends bet on who can hold out longest without masturbating.
Someone didn't get the normal Movember memo - about growing a moustache, which somehow equates to men's health. I have a moustache, attached to a beard, so that's not happening.
But neither is this next November movement: No Nut November.
Like 'the Contest' the short description is fairly short: no getting off.......all month.
Truth be told, days ago, when drafting this, I was winning this contest. Crushing it, in fact.
But that was days - or two weeks ago. Yes, I'm pre-drafting / publishing some posts. So, it's possible I'm still winning........though most of you would say I'm "losing".
Honestly, I'm loving the third bullet point. Like one can control their nocturnal emissions. And oh - I'm not 14........so..........I'm pretty sure that one doesn't apply to me. AND - sorry, no nut means no nut. I would say, even a wet dream disqualifies you.
There is (or was?) a kickstarter campaign for a trophy. When last looked, they raised $101 of $22,000 !!! That has to be some trophy........though I'm sure whomever did it was just taking the money and running.
Clearly, this is a millennial's doing. I'm fifty fucking six years old. Should the opportunity for sex come my way, (yes, I just said that), contest or no contest, I'm taking my shot (yes, I said that too).
Song by: Christine McVie
Showing posts with label Contest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Contest. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Tuesday, January 08, 2019
You Better You Bet
I won.
I mean, why bury the lead?
I wish I could feel better about said win. Don't get me wrong, I do not feel bad about it, I mean, I'm winner !!!!
This Globes match-up is the most Mike and I have ever differed on our choices. Usually, it comes down to 3-4 categories. This time it was 14 (!), which is also his humour level age......and I'm being generous.
But we (actually, the HFPA) were way off on their selections. Our opinion, obvi. I suppose it could have been us, but.......ehhhhh.....that would admit defeat. So it still came down to the last two categories, which annoyed me.
As Mike and I picked some of the same bigger items, as we neared the end, I figured the worst I could do it tie. ...and I could live with that.
We both decide the hosts left a lot to be desired......though Mike likes Sandra Oh for some reason. I think he thinks she's Lucy Liu.....which of course makes his choices even more odd. But we did chat through the telecast, some about the hosts. (I'm in blue.)
Mike said we should the ones to host it. I think he's right, actually. I mean, we couldn't get any less laughs than Sandberg and Oh giving out flu shots - could we? Apparently, the hosts were already inoculated for 'humour'.
Christian Bale had more humour thanking Satan for the inspiration to play Dick Cheney.
Our back and forth was good, but we've done better. We didn't have great material with which to work, though Mike certainly tried to jab me. And he called me - correctly - on wanting to beg off early and go to bed: "This is the time u start whining". It's true - the man knows me, and he's not even Prince.
But the Golden Globes is just the warm up, though I'm save that judgment after the Oscar nominations are released. We might not have some of these choices.
As for the results, I post them as so Mike does not thinking I'm cheating, though I did audit them twice.
I couldn't bring myself to write 'Mike wins' next to his categories, so I kept it about me - as it should be.
Best Motion Picture – Drama (neither of us)
Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama (neither of us)
Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama (me)
Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy (neither of us)
Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy (me!)
Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy (both of us)
Best Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture (me me me!)
Best Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture (neither of us)
Best Motion Picture – Animated (not me)
Best Motion Picture – Foreign Language (both of us)
Best Director - Motion Picture (both of us)
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture (neither of us)
Best Original Score – Motion Picture (neither of us)
Best Original Song – Motion Picture (both of us)
Best Television Series – Drama (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama (not me)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – (neither of us)
Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy (me me me)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy (not me)
Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (me me me)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
I will give credit where credit is due: Mike congratulated me and we both went to bed. Well, I did. I'm assuming he did. I didn't gloat - which is a lesson he could learn. But until then, I'll just thank him for participating in the contest he goaded me into asking him to participate in.
I eagerly await my..............ummmm............hey! I don't know what I await, if anything.
If nothing else, my prize could be just be my title image.
Song by: the Who
I mean, why bury the lead?
I wish I could feel better about said win. Don't get me wrong, I do not feel bad about it, I mean, I'm winner !!!!
This Globes match-up is the most Mike and I have ever differed on our choices. Usually, it comes down to 3-4 categories. This time it was 14 (!), which is also his humour level age......and I'm being generous.
But we (actually, the HFPA) were way off on their selections. Our opinion, obvi. I suppose it could have been us, but.......ehhhhh.....that would admit defeat. So it still came down to the last two categories, which annoyed me.
As Mike and I picked some of the same bigger items, as we neared the end, I figured the worst I could do it tie. ...and I could live with that.
We both decide the hosts left a lot to be desired......though Mike likes Sandra Oh for some reason. I think he thinks she's Lucy Liu.....which of course makes his choices even more odd. But we did chat through the telecast, some about the hosts. (I'm in blue.)
Mike said we should the ones to host it. I think he's right, actually. I mean, we couldn't get any less laughs than Sandberg and Oh giving out flu shots - could we? Apparently, the hosts were already inoculated for 'humour'.
Christian Bale had more humour thanking Satan for the inspiration to play Dick Cheney.
Our back and forth was good, but we've done better. We didn't have great material with which to work, though Mike certainly tried to jab me. And he called me - correctly - on wanting to beg off early and go to bed: "This is the time u start whining". It's true - the man knows me, and he's not even Prince.
But the Golden Globes is just the warm up, though I'm save that judgment after the Oscar nominations are released. We might not have some of these choices.
As for the results, I post them as so Mike does not thinking I'm cheating, though I did audit them twice.
I couldn't bring myself to write 'Mike wins' next to his categories, so I kept it about me - as it should be.
Best Motion Picture – Drama (neither of us)
Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama (neither of us)
Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama (me)
Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy (neither of us)
Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy (me!)
Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy (both of us)
Best Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture (me me me!)
Best Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture (neither of us)
Best Motion Picture – Animated (not me)
Best Motion Picture – Foreign Language (both of us)
Best Director - Motion Picture (both of us)
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture (neither of us)
Best Original Score – Motion Picture (neither of us)
Best Original Song – Motion Picture (both of us)
Best Television Series – Drama (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama (not me)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – (neither of us)
Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy (me me me)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy (not me)
Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (me me me)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (neither of us)
I will give credit where credit is due: Mike congratulated me and we both went to bed. Well, I did. I'm assuming he did. I didn't gloat - which is a lesson he could learn. But until then, I'll just thank him for participating in the contest he goaded me into asking him to participate in.
I eagerly await my..............ummmm............hey! I don't know what I await, if anything.
If nothing else, my prize could be just be my title image.
Song by: the Who
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Lose Again
Well it started out on wrong note. I didn't even have the right day of the Emmys, so............there's that.
Then I got a false sense entitlement when the Mrs. Masiel thing won the first three of the four awards (poor Tony Shaloub). I thought it would be smooth sailing for the rest of the show.
And the third thing was the absence of Mike. Eventually he showed up, but I have to say our repartee wasn't that great. Sure - he insulted me any number of times, which is par for the course. And then silence.
I was such great company, he fell asleep. Now I know how Peter feels.
All said - the show sucked. The SNL hosts were just terrible. Just awful. James Franco - Ann Hathaway awful. That awful. The addition of Maya Rudolph (whom I love) and Fred Armisten (who I despise) did not help.............at all.
The only real moment was when some director proposed to his girlfriend. The audience reaction was great. It must be nice to have Benedict Cumberbund clapping for you. Even the almost fiance telling his brothers and sisters that dad knew he had mom's ring was the best part.
Well, that and how ugly Darren Criss' tux was.
I didn't end up staying till the completion of the program. I wasn't that invested, clearly Mike wasn't. I could catch any of the missed categories the next day - and I did.
I don't think Mike cares if I give the particulars when he wins, only when I do, but you never know. We haven't talked prizes, but I'm sure he'll get back to me.
Drama Series - both lost
Comedy Series - both won
Limited Series - both won
Lead Actor in a Drama Series - both lost
Lead Actress in a Drama Series - both lost
Lead Actress in a Limited Series or a Movie - both lost
Lead Actor in a Limited Series or a Movie - Mike
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series - Blobby
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series - both lost
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series - both lost
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series - both lost
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series - Mike
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series - both lost
Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie - Mike
Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie - both lost
Reality-Competition Program - Mike
Variety Talk Series - Mike
Variety Sketch Series - Mike
Television Movie - both lost
Structured Reality Program - Blobby
Unstructured Reality Program - both lost
Animated Program - Blobby
Host for a Reality / Reality Competition Program -
Directing for a Comedy Series - Blobby
Directing for a Drama Series - Mike
Directing for a Limited Series, TV Movie or Dramatic Special - both
Writing for a Comedy Series - Blobby
Writing for a Drama Series - both lost
Writing for a Limited Series, TV Movie or Dramatic Special - both lost
Writing for a Variety Series - Mike
Maybe I'll win again.....................sometime.
Song by: Alison Krauss + Union Station
Then I got a false sense entitlement when the Mrs. Masiel thing won the first three of the four awards (poor Tony Shaloub). I thought it would be smooth sailing for the rest of the show.
And the third thing was the absence of Mike. Eventually he showed up, but I have to say our repartee wasn't that great. Sure - he insulted me any number of times, which is par for the course. And then silence.
I was such great company, he fell asleep. Now I know how Peter feels.
All said - the show sucked. The SNL hosts were just terrible. Just awful. James Franco - Ann Hathaway awful. That awful. The addition of Maya Rudolph (whom I love) and Fred Armisten (who I despise) did not help.............at all.
The only real moment was when some director proposed to his girlfriend. The audience reaction was great. It must be nice to have Benedict Cumberbund clapping for you. Even the almost fiance telling his brothers and sisters that dad knew he had mom's ring was the best part.
Well, that and how ugly Darren Criss' tux was.
I didn't end up staying till the completion of the program. I wasn't that invested, clearly Mike wasn't. I could catch any of the missed categories the next day - and I did.
I don't think Mike cares if I give the particulars when he wins, only when I do, but you never know. We haven't talked prizes, but I'm sure he'll get back to me.
Drama Series - both lost
Comedy Series - both won
Limited Series - both won
Lead Actor in a Drama Series - both lost
Lead Actress in a Drama Series - both lost
Lead Actress in a Limited Series or a Movie - both lost
Lead Actor in a Limited Series or a Movie - Mike
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series - Blobby
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series - both lost
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series - both lost
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series - both lost
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series - Mike
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series - both lost
Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie - Mike
Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie - both lost
Reality-Competition Program - Mike
Variety Talk Series - Mike
Variety Sketch Series - Mike
Television Movie - both lost
Structured Reality Program - Blobby
Unstructured Reality Program - both lost
Animated Program - Blobby
Host for a Reality / Reality Competition Program -
Directing for a Comedy Series - Blobby
Directing for a Drama Series - Mike
Directing for a Limited Series, TV Movie or Dramatic Special - both
Writing for a Comedy Series - Blobby
Writing for a Drama Series - both lost
Writing for a Limited Series, TV Movie or Dramatic Special - both lost
Writing for a Variety Series - Mike
Maybe I'll win again.....................sometime.
Song by: Alison Krauss + Union Station
Sunday, September 16, 2018
We Don't Believe What's on TV
Another entertainment showdown with Mike and Blobby.
Honestly, I think we're both on the fence with this one, participation-wise. It's kind of like if we should throw our names in to the Tri-Wizard's cup. (I'll give Mike a few to Gooooogle that.)
Law of averages tells me I have to win one in the near future. Will it be the Emmys? Errrrrrr.....I'm thinking not. Television is so not watched the way it was, even three years ago. And I'm not a binger either. Neither is Mike, unless you're talking about drinking..........or desserts.
Of course, I mean I don't binge watch anything. Mike's former blog might have been titled "Short Attention Span Theater", but honestly, I have no attention span for that kind of tv watching.
Doing a quick-thru of below list, not only have I seen barely any of these shows, I haven't heard of many either. Throwing darts blind-folded might yield better results.
This is all of my doing, of course. I had not "talked" to Mike (read: texted) in weeks, so I throughout a message to him mentioning the Emmys were coming up........and he bit and said he was game. Not gamey.
Below are my choices, many of which will be what I want to win, not what will.....because I don't know what will. These selections might also comenwith some comments, as you all might expect.
DRAMA SERIES
“The Americans” (FX) “The Crown” (Netflix) “Game of Thrones” (HBO) “The Handmaid’s Tale” (Hulu) “Stranger Things” (Netflix) “This Is Us” (NBC) “Westworld” (HBO)
I've seen the Crown. That's it. But I "hear" the Handmaid's Tale is "good". But it has Moss, who is creepy now that I found out she's a Scientologist, so............ . But this isn't about like, it's about win.
COMEDY SERIES
“Atlanta” (FX) “Barry” (HBO) “Black-ish” (ABC) “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (HBO) “GLOW” (Netflix) “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Amazon) “Silicon Valley” (HBO) “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” (Netflix)
Atlanta, which I've never seen, might be the only true competition here.
LIMITED SERIES
“The Alienist” (TNT) “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (FX) “Genius: Picasso” (National Geographic) “Godless” (Netflix) “Patrick Melrose” (Showtime)
Because it has the longest title?
LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Claire Foy, “The Crown” Tatiana Maslany, “Orphan Black” Elisabeth Moss, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Sandra Oh, “Killing Eve” Keri Russell, “The Americans” Evan Rachel Wood, “Westworld”
Whatevs.
LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Jason Bateman, “Ozark” Sterling K. Brown, “This Is Us” Ed Harris, “Westworld” Matthew Rhys, “The Americans” Milo Ventimiglia, “This Is Us” Jeffrey Wright, “Westworld”
Why not?
LEAD ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR A MOVIE
Jessica Biel, “The Sinner” Laura Dern, “The Tale” Michele Dockery, “Godless” Edie Falco, “Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Brothers” Regina King, “Seven Seconds” Sarah Paulson, “American Horror Story: Cult”
Not a fan of this entire show(s), but I do love Paulson.
LEAD ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR A MOVIE
Antonio Banderas, “Genius: Picasso” Darren Criss, “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Benedict Cumberbatch, “Patrick Melrose” Jeff Daniels, “The Looming Tower” John Legend, “Jesus Christ Superstar: Live in Concert” Jesse Plemons, “USS Callister: Black Mirror”
Do you really want to bet against "Jebus"?
LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Pamela Adlon, “Better Things” Rachel Brosnahan, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Allison Janney, “Mom” Issa Rae, “Insecure” Tracee Ellis Ross, “Black-ish” Lily Tomlin, “Grace and Frankie”
Love Issa Rae. Love Brosanhan more.
LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Anthony Anderson, “Black-ish” Ted Danson, “The Good Place” Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” Donald Glover, “Atlanta” Bill Hader, “Barry” William H. Macy, “Shameless”
He was great in Community - and he's not David or Danson, which are huge pluses.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, “Game of Thrones” Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones” Mandy Patinkin, “Homeland” David Harbour, “Stranger Things” Matt Smith, “The Crown” Joseph Fiennes, “The Handmaid’s Tale”
Never seen the show, but I do like the actor.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Lena Headey, “Game of Thrones” Millie Bobby Brown, “Stranger Things” Vanessa Kirby, “The Crown” Yvonne Strahovski, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Alexis Bledel, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Ann Dowd, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Thandie Newton, “Westworld”
Princess Margaret was the highlight of the last season of the Crown.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Brian Tyree Henry, “Atlanta” Henry Winkler, “Barry” Louie Anderson, “Baskets” Alec Baldwin, “Saturday Night Live” Kenan Thompson, “Saturday Night Live” Tony Shalhoub, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Tituss Burgess, “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”
I loved Mrs. Maisel, but I love her father even more.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Zazie Beetz, “Atlanta” Betty Gilpin, “GLOW” Laurie Metcalf, “Roseanne” Aidy Bryant, “Saturday Night Live” Leslie Jones, “Saturday Night Live” Kate McKinnon, “Saturday Night Live Alex Borstein, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Megan Mullally, “Will & Grace”
Borstein said "fuck" too often for voters, I'm guessing.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Jeff Daniels, “Godless” Brandon Victor Dixon, “Jesus Christ Superstar: Live in Concert” Ricky Martin, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Edgar Ramírez, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Finn Wittrock, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Michael Stuhlbarg, “The Looming Tower” John Leguizamo, “Waco”
ummmmmmm...........??
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Adina Porter, “American Horror Story: Cult” Letitia Wright, “Black Museum: Black Mirror” Merritt Wever, “Godless” Sara Bareilles, “Jesus Christ Superstar Live In Concert” Penélope Cruz, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Judith Light, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”
I dunno. It's Judith Fucking Light, maybe?
REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
“The Amazing Race” (CBS) “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC) “Project Runway” (Lifetime) “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (VH1) “Top Chef” (Bravo) “The Voice” (NBC)
Because the dudes are usually half naked........and dudes. Take that Runway or RuPaul.
VARIETY TALK SERIES
“The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy Central) “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee” (TBS) “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC) “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” (HBO) “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS) “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS)
Though if Bee won for the 'feckless cunt' comment, I wouldn't be surprised.....or disappointed.
VARIETY SKETCH SERIES
“At Home With Amy Sedaris” (truTV) “Drunk History” (Comedy Central) “I Love You America with Sarah Silverman” (Hulu) “Portlandia” (IFC) “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) “Tracey Ullman’s Show” (HBO)
I love Amy Sedaris, but her show sucked balls......and not in a good way. I really enjoy Drunk History, but Emmy worthy? Nahhh.
TELEVISION MOVIE
“Fahrenheit 451” (HBO) “Flint” (Lifetime) “Paterno” (HBO) “The Tale” (HBO) “USS Callister: Black Mirror” (HBO)
Did any of these really exist?
STRUCTURED REALITY PROGRAM
“Antiques Roadshow” (PBS) “Fixer Upper” (HGTV) “Lip Sync Battle” (Paramount Network) “Queer Eye” (Netflix) “Shark Tank” (ABC) “Who Do You Think You Are?” (TLC)
Lord. It's gonna be Queer Eye..........which makes no sense without Kyan.
UNSTRUCTURED REALITY PROGRAM
“Born This Way” (A&E) “Deadliest Catch” (Discovery Channel) “Intervention” (A&E) “Naked And Afraid” (Discovery Channel) “RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked” (VH1) “United Shades Of America With W. Kamau Bell” (CNN)
If I could have a "pass", it would be on this one.
ANIMATED PROGRAM
“Baymax Returns (Big Hero 6: The Series)” (Disney XD) “Bob’s Burgers” (Fox) “Rick And Morty” (Adult Swim) “South Park” (Comedy Central) “The Simpsons” (Fox)
It could happen.
HOST FOR A REALITY/REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
Ellen DeGeneres, “Ellen’s Game Of Games” Jane Lynch, “Hollywood Game Night” Heidi Klum & Tim Gunn, “Project Runway” RuPaul, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” W. Kamau Bell, “United Shades Of America With W. Kamau Bell”
Ellen is the Jebus of television lesbians.
DIRECTING FOR A COMEDY SERIES
Mark Cendrowski, “The Big Bang Theory” (“The Bow Tie Symmetry”) Donald Glover, “Atlanta” (“FUBU”) Hiro Murai, “Atlanta” (“Teddy Perkins”) Bill Hader, “Barry” (“Chapter One: Make Your Mark”) Jesse Peretz, “GLOW” (“Pilot”) Mike Judge, “Silicon Valley” (“Initial Coin Offering”) Amy Sherman-Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (“Pilot”)
Maybe to Donald Glover, but Maisel's pilot was great, yet not it's best episode.
DIRECTING FOR A DRAMA SERIES
Alan Taylor, “Game Of Thrones” (“Beyond The Wall”) Jeremy Podeswa, “Game Of Thrones” (“The Dragon And The Wolf”) Jason Bateman, “Ozark” (“The Toll”) Daniel Sackheim, “Ozark” (“Tonight We Improvise”) The Duffer Brothers, “Stranger Things” (“Chapter Nine: The Gate”) Stephen Daldry, “The Crown” (“Paterfamilias”) Kari Skogland, “The Handmaid’s Tale” (“After”)
I'm sure it's a cautionary tale of some kind, though the Crown episode chosen was by far the best of the of the season.
DIRECTING FOR A LIMITED SERIES, TV MOVIE OR DRAMATIC SPECIAL
Scott Frank, “Godless” David Leveaux (director) and Alex Rudzinski (Live Television Director), “Jesus Christ Superstar: Live In Concert” Barry Levinson, “Paterno” Edward Berger, “Patrick Melrose” Ryan Murphy, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (“The Man Who Would Be Vogue”) Craig Zisk, “The Looming Tower” (“9/11”) David Lynch, “Twin Peaks”
People love Jebus.
WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES
Donald Glover, “Atlanta” (“Alligator Man”) Stefani Robinson, “Atlanta” (“Barbershop”) Alec Berg and Bill Hader, “Barry” (“Chapter One: Make Your Mark”) Liz Sarnoff, “Barry” (“Chapter Seven: Loud, Fast And Keep Going”) Alec Berg, “Silicon Valley” (“Fifty-One Percent”) Amy Sherman-Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (“Pilot”)
There were better episodes than the pilot, but this will do.
WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES
David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, “Game of Thrones” (“The Dragon And The Wolf”) Phoebe Waller-Bridge, “Killing Eve” (“Nice Face”) The Duffer Brothers, “Stranger Things” (“Chapter Nine: The Gate”) Joel Fields and Joe Weisberg, “The Americans” (“Start”) Peter Morgan, “The Crown” (“Mystery Man”) Bruce Miller, “The Handmaid’s Tale” (“June”)
See comments three above.
WRITING FOR A LIMITED SERIES, TV MOVIE OR DRAMATIC SPECIAL
Kevin McManus and Matthew McManus, “American Vandal” (“Clean Up”) Scott Frank, “Godless” David Nicholls, “Patrick Melrose” Tom Rob Smith, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (“House By The Lake”) David Lynch and Mark Frost, “Twin Peaks” William Bridges and Charlie Brooker, “USS Callister: Black Mirror”
Did anyone actually watch Twin Peaks? Yeah........I didn't think so.
WRITING FOR A VARIETY SERIES
“Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” (TBS) “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” (HBO) “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC) “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS)
It will prob go to SNL, but it shouldn't.
Who will victor? No one knows. Math will tell you Mike has the edge. Actuarial science might say my time is due.
I guess you'll know on Tuesday.
Song by: 21 Pilots
Honestly, I think we're both on the fence with this one, participation-wise. It's kind of like if we should throw our names in to the Tri-Wizard's cup. (I'll give Mike a few to Gooooogle that.)
Law of averages tells me I have to win one in the near future. Will it be the Emmys? Errrrrrr.....I'm thinking not. Television is so not watched the way it was, even three years ago. And I'm not a binger either. Neither is Mike, unless you're talking about drinking..........or desserts.
Of course, I mean I don't binge watch anything. Mike's former blog might have been titled "Short Attention Span Theater", but honestly, I have no attention span for that kind of tv watching.
Doing a quick-thru of below list, not only have I seen barely any of these shows, I haven't heard of many either. Throwing darts blind-folded might yield better results.
This is all of my doing, of course. I had not "talked" to Mike (read: texted) in weeks, so I throughout a message to him mentioning the Emmys were coming up........and he bit and said he was game. Not gamey.
Below are my choices, many of which will be what I want to win, not what will.....because I don't know what will. These selections might also comenwith some comments, as you all might expect.
DRAMA SERIES
“The Americans” (FX) “The Crown” (Netflix) “Game of Thrones” (HBO) “The Handmaid’s Tale” (Hulu) “Stranger Things” (Netflix) “This Is Us” (NBC) “Westworld” (HBO)
I've seen the Crown. That's it. But I "hear" the Handmaid's Tale is "good". But it has Moss, who is creepy now that I found out she's a Scientologist, so............ . But this isn't about like, it's about win.
COMEDY SERIES
“Atlanta” (FX) “Barry” (HBO) “Black-ish” (ABC) “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (HBO) “GLOW” (Netflix) “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Amazon) “Silicon Valley” (HBO) “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” (Netflix)
Atlanta, which I've never seen, might be the only true competition here.
LIMITED SERIES
“The Alienist” (TNT) “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (FX) “Genius: Picasso” (National Geographic) “Godless” (Netflix) “Patrick Melrose” (Showtime)
Because it has the longest title?
LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Claire Foy, “The Crown” Tatiana Maslany, “Orphan Black” Elisabeth Moss, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Sandra Oh, “Killing Eve” Keri Russell, “The Americans” Evan Rachel Wood, “Westworld”
Whatevs.
LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Jason Bateman, “Ozark” Sterling K. Brown, “This Is Us” Ed Harris, “Westworld” Matthew Rhys, “The Americans” Milo Ventimiglia, “This Is Us” Jeffrey Wright, “Westworld”
Why not?
LEAD ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR A MOVIE
Jessica Biel, “The Sinner” Laura Dern, “The Tale” Michele Dockery, “Godless” Edie Falco, “Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Brothers” Regina King, “Seven Seconds” Sarah Paulson, “American Horror Story: Cult”
Not a fan of this entire show(s), but I do love Paulson.
LEAD ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR A MOVIE
Antonio Banderas, “Genius: Picasso” Darren Criss, “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Benedict Cumberbatch, “Patrick Melrose” Jeff Daniels, “The Looming Tower” John Legend, “Jesus Christ Superstar: Live in Concert” Jesse Plemons, “USS Callister: Black Mirror”
Do you really want to bet against "Jebus"?
LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Pamela Adlon, “Better Things” Rachel Brosnahan, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Allison Janney, “Mom” Issa Rae, “Insecure” Tracee Ellis Ross, “Black-ish” Lily Tomlin, “Grace and Frankie”
Love Issa Rae. Love Brosanhan more.
LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Anthony Anderson, “Black-ish” Ted Danson, “The Good Place” Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” Donald Glover, “Atlanta” Bill Hader, “Barry” William H. Macy, “Shameless”
He was great in Community - and he's not David or Danson, which are huge pluses.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, “Game of Thrones” Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones” Mandy Patinkin, “Homeland” David Harbour, “Stranger Things” Matt Smith, “The Crown” Joseph Fiennes, “The Handmaid’s Tale”
Never seen the show, but I do like the actor.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Lena Headey, “Game of Thrones” Millie Bobby Brown, “Stranger Things” Vanessa Kirby, “The Crown” Yvonne Strahovski, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Alexis Bledel, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Ann Dowd, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Thandie Newton, “Westworld”
Princess Margaret was the highlight of the last season of the Crown.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Brian Tyree Henry, “Atlanta” Henry Winkler, “Barry” Louie Anderson, “Baskets” Alec Baldwin, “Saturday Night Live” Kenan Thompson, “Saturday Night Live” Tony Shalhoub, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Tituss Burgess, “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”
I loved Mrs. Maisel, but I love her father even more.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Zazie Beetz, “Atlanta” Betty Gilpin, “GLOW” Laurie Metcalf, “Roseanne” Aidy Bryant, “Saturday Night Live” Leslie Jones, “Saturday Night Live” Kate McKinnon, “Saturday Night Live Alex Borstein, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Megan Mullally, “Will & Grace”
Borstein said "fuck" too often for voters, I'm guessing.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Jeff Daniels, “Godless” Brandon Victor Dixon, “Jesus Christ Superstar: Live in Concert” Ricky Martin, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Edgar Ramírez, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Finn Wittrock, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Michael Stuhlbarg, “The Looming Tower” John Leguizamo, “Waco”
ummmmmmm...........??
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Adina Porter, “American Horror Story: Cult” Letitia Wright, “Black Museum: Black Mirror” Merritt Wever, “Godless” Sara Bareilles, “Jesus Christ Superstar Live In Concert” Penélope Cruz, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” Judith Light, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”
I dunno. It's Judith Fucking Light, maybe?
REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
“The Amazing Race” (CBS) “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC) “Project Runway” (Lifetime) “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (VH1) “Top Chef” (Bravo) “The Voice” (NBC)
Because the dudes are usually half naked........and dudes. Take that Runway or RuPaul.
VARIETY TALK SERIES
“The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy Central) “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee” (TBS) “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC) “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” (HBO) “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS) “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS)
Though if Bee won for the 'feckless cunt' comment, I wouldn't be surprised.....or disappointed.
VARIETY SKETCH SERIES
“At Home With Amy Sedaris” (truTV) “Drunk History” (Comedy Central) “I Love You America with Sarah Silverman” (Hulu) “Portlandia” (IFC) “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) “Tracey Ullman’s Show” (HBO)
I love Amy Sedaris, but her show sucked balls......and not in a good way. I really enjoy Drunk History, but Emmy worthy? Nahhh.
TELEVISION MOVIE
“Fahrenheit 451” (HBO) “Flint” (Lifetime) “Paterno” (HBO) “The Tale” (HBO) “USS Callister: Black Mirror” (HBO)
Did any of these really exist?
STRUCTURED REALITY PROGRAM
“Antiques Roadshow” (PBS) “Fixer Upper” (HGTV) “Lip Sync Battle” (Paramount Network) “Queer Eye” (Netflix) “Shark Tank” (ABC) “Who Do You Think You Are?” (TLC)
Lord. It's gonna be Queer Eye..........which makes no sense without Kyan.
UNSTRUCTURED REALITY PROGRAM
“Born This Way” (A&E) “Deadliest Catch” (Discovery Channel) “Intervention” (A&E) “Naked And Afraid” (Discovery Channel) “RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked” (VH1) “United Shades Of America With W. Kamau Bell” (CNN)
If I could have a "pass", it would be on this one.
ANIMATED PROGRAM
“Baymax Returns (Big Hero 6: The Series)” (Disney XD) “Bob’s Burgers” (Fox) “Rick And Morty” (Adult Swim) “South Park” (Comedy Central) “The Simpsons” (Fox)
It could happen.
HOST FOR A REALITY/REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
Ellen DeGeneres, “Ellen’s Game Of Games” Jane Lynch, “Hollywood Game Night” Heidi Klum & Tim Gunn, “Project Runway” RuPaul, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” W. Kamau Bell, “United Shades Of America With W. Kamau Bell”
Ellen is the Jebus of television lesbians.
DIRECTING FOR A COMEDY SERIES
Mark Cendrowski, “The Big Bang Theory” (“The Bow Tie Symmetry”) Donald Glover, “Atlanta” (“FUBU”) Hiro Murai, “Atlanta” (“Teddy Perkins”) Bill Hader, “Barry” (“Chapter One: Make Your Mark”) Jesse Peretz, “GLOW” (“Pilot”) Mike Judge, “Silicon Valley” (“Initial Coin Offering”) Amy Sherman-Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (“Pilot”)
Maybe to Donald Glover, but Maisel's pilot was great, yet not it's best episode.
DIRECTING FOR A DRAMA SERIES
Alan Taylor, “Game Of Thrones” (“Beyond The Wall”) Jeremy Podeswa, “Game Of Thrones” (“The Dragon And The Wolf”) Jason Bateman, “Ozark” (“The Toll”) Daniel Sackheim, “Ozark” (“Tonight We Improvise”) The Duffer Brothers, “Stranger Things” (“Chapter Nine: The Gate”) Stephen Daldry, “The Crown” (“Paterfamilias”) Kari Skogland, “The Handmaid’s Tale” (“After”)
I'm sure it's a cautionary tale of some kind, though the Crown episode chosen was by far the best of the of the season.
DIRECTING FOR A LIMITED SERIES, TV MOVIE OR DRAMATIC SPECIAL
Scott Frank, “Godless” David Leveaux (director) and Alex Rudzinski (Live Television Director), “Jesus Christ Superstar: Live In Concert” Barry Levinson, “Paterno” Edward Berger, “Patrick Melrose” Ryan Murphy, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (“The Man Who Would Be Vogue”) Craig Zisk, “The Looming Tower” (“9/11”) David Lynch, “Twin Peaks”
People love Jebus.
WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES
Donald Glover, “Atlanta” (“Alligator Man”) Stefani Robinson, “Atlanta” (“Barbershop”) Alec Berg and Bill Hader, “Barry” (“Chapter One: Make Your Mark”) Liz Sarnoff, “Barry” (“Chapter Seven: Loud, Fast And Keep Going”) Alec Berg, “Silicon Valley” (“Fifty-One Percent”) Amy Sherman-Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (“Pilot”)
There were better episodes than the pilot, but this will do.
WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES
David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, “Game of Thrones” (“The Dragon And The Wolf”) Phoebe Waller-Bridge, “Killing Eve” (“Nice Face”) The Duffer Brothers, “Stranger Things” (“Chapter Nine: The Gate”) Joel Fields and Joe Weisberg, “The Americans” (“Start”) Peter Morgan, “The Crown” (“Mystery Man”) Bruce Miller, “The Handmaid’s Tale” (“June”)
See comments three above.
WRITING FOR A LIMITED SERIES, TV MOVIE OR DRAMATIC SPECIAL
Kevin McManus and Matthew McManus, “American Vandal” (“Clean Up”) Scott Frank, “Godless” David Nicholls, “Patrick Melrose” Tom Rob Smith, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (“House By The Lake”) David Lynch and Mark Frost, “Twin Peaks” William Bridges and Charlie Brooker, “USS Callister: Black Mirror”
Did anyone actually watch Twin Peaks? Yeah........I didn't think so.
WRITING FOR A VARIETY SERIES
“Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” (TBS) “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” (HBO) “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC) “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS)
It will prob go to SNL, but it shouldn't.
Who will victor? No one knows. Math will tell you Mike has the edge. Actuarial science might say my time is due.
I guess you'll know on Tuesday.
Song by: 21 Pilots
Tuesday, March 06, 2018
If I had a Hammer
Good News. Bad News. Isn't that always the way?
Let's start with Bad News. I did not win the 7th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®.
I repeat. I did not. But on the Good News side - I wasn't robbed. I actually feel ok about my loss.
Mike and I had great selections, for the most part - save five - mirrored each other's choice. Five is not a huge margin. Very little wiggle room.
I correctly selected 19 of the 24 categories. Two we both missed (same ones). I took one. He took three. But that said, it came down to the last three before I was out of it mathematically. Well....had I taken one more, we would have tied.
Documentary Feature was the turning point. When he won that, he was ahead 2-0. It would be a tough comeback and as it would turn out, from one I couldn't recover.
As is usually the case, we IM'd during the entire thing - totally ignoring, and being ignored by, our respective husbands.
The show itself? Meh.
They handled the #metoo moments fairly well. Well.........until Ashely Judd, Annabella Sciorra (sp) and Selma Hayek came out. Their resumes say they're actresses, but I just kept waiting for one of them to yell, "line!". Maybe no one isn't hiring them because they wouldn't put out - maybe it's because they can't act natural in front of a camera.
The In Memorium section wasn't complete. Jennifer Garner intro'd it, but the segment didn't show that her career had died.
While Mike did not like Nicole Kidman's big blue bow'd dress. I did. Not the bow, but the colour. And the slit. He might not have appreciated it much when I said it had to be the best dress in which to go take a dump. I honestly don't know how those women pee or defecate on Oscar night. It's physically impossible. ....except for Nicole.
Emily Blunt proved why having a stylist - a good one - is important. f'ugly.
We both agreed, that Jennifer Lawrence is the new Anne Hathaway. ....and no, that is not a compliment.
And it is possible that no one other than Armie Hammer can pull off a burgundy crushed velvet tux. He rocked it.
Speaking of Mr. Hammer, should he go missing, or should any harm come his way, please reach out to me. I might have some 4-1-1 about a certain someone who is obsessed with the former Lone Ranger and is looking to become his future ex-husband.
Poor Armie - he'll never see it coming.
Just for the official record: here is the breakdown
Best Picture - Mike wins
Best Director - both win
Best Actor - both win
Best Actress - both win
Best Supporting Actor - both win
Best Supporting Actress -both won
Best Original Screenplay - both win
Best Adapted Screenplay - both win
Best Cinematography - both win
Best Film Editing - Mike wins
Best Sound Mixing - both win
Best Sound Editing - both win
Best Original Song - Blobby wins
Best Original Score - both win
Best Animated Feature - both win
Best Costume Design - both win
Best Visual Effects - both win
Best Animated Short Film - both win
Best Documentary Feature - Mike wins
Best Documentary Short - both lose
Best Foreign Language Film - both win
Best Production Design - both win
Best Makeup and Hairstyling - both win
Best Live-Action Short - both lost
As for the prize? Well, 5 g's are off the table, I'm sorry to say. It's not that he's not worth it, but he'd just piddle it away on rock candy and baseball cards............as soon as he figures out what baseball is. So I have to come up with a new plan.
Mike claims liquor stores only deliver cases of booze. Who would know more than he? It's probably not true and he's just seeing if I will send him a case of gin. Blobby didn't just fall off the liquor delivery truck yesterday, you know!
I'll figure it out. I suppose I can go back to baking him cookies, but swimsuit season is right around the corner.
Oh - and I stayed up for the entire show. I actually had to - and just because he shamed me (and he did!). I am the first to bag it and say I'll catch up in the a.m., because usually I've lost by the last quarter. This time, it literally came down to the last movie to see if we'd tie.
Spoiler Alert: we didn't. But honest to g-d, the second they announced Best Picture, I wished Mike the best and closed my laptop and headed upstairs to floss, brush and hit the hay.
I'm sure Mike stayed up to revel in his well-deserved win and scour the internet for pictures of Armie. I'm just guessing.
Let's start with Bad News. I did not win the 7th Annual Academy Award Guessing Game®.
I repeat. I did not. But on the Good News side - I wasn't robbed. I actually feel ok about my loss.
Mike and I had great selections, for the most part - save five - mirrored each other's choice. Five is not a huge margin. Very little wiggle room.
I correctly selected 19 of the 24 categories. Two we both missed (same ones). I took one. He took three. But that said, it came down to the last three before I was out of it mathematically. Well....had I taken one more, we would have tied.
Documentary Feature was the turning point. When he won that, he was ahead 2-0. It would be a tough comeback and as it would turn out, from one I couldn't recover.
As is usually the case, we IM'd during the entire thing - totally ignoring, and being ignored by, our respective husbands.
The show itself? Meh.
They handled the #metoo moments fairly well. Well.........until Ashely Judd, Annabella Sciorra (sp) and Selma Hayek came out. Their resumes say they're actresses, but I just kept waiting for one of them to yell, "line!". Maybe no one isn't hiring them because they wouldn't put out - maybe it's because they can't act natural in front of a camera.
The In Memorium section wasn't complete. Jennifer Garner intro'd it, but the segment didn't show that her career had died.
While Mike did not like Nicole Kidman's big blue bow'd dress. I did. Not the bow, but the colour. And the slit. He might not have appreciated it much when I said it had to be the best dress in which to go take a dump. I honestly don't know how those women pee or defecate on Oscar night. It's physically impossible. ....except for Nicole.
Emily Blunt proved why having a stylist - a good one - is important. f'ugly.
We both agreed, that Jennifer Lawrence is the new Anne Hathaway. ....and no, that is not a compliment.
And it is possible that no one other than Armie Hammer can pull off a burgundy crushed velvet tux. He rocked it.
Speaking of Mr. Hammer, should he go missing, or should any harm come his way, please reach out to me. I might have some 4-1-1 about a certain someone who is obsessed with the former Lone Ranger and is looking to become his future ex-husband.
Poor Armie - he'll never see it coming.
Just for the official record: here is the breakdown
Best Picture - Mike wins
Best Director - both win
Best Actor - both win
Best Actress - both win
Best Supporting Actor - both win
Best Supporting Actress -both won
Best Original Screenplay - both win
Best Adapted Screenplay - both win
Best Cinematography - both win
Best Film Editing - Mike wins
Best Sound Mixing - both win
Best Sound Editing - both win
Best Original Song - Blobby wins
Best Original Score - both win
Best Animated Feature - both win
Best Costume Design - both win
Best Visual Effects - both win
Best Animated Short Film - both win
Best Documentary Feature - Mike wins
Best Documentary Short - both lose
Best Foreign Language Film - both win
Best Production Design - both win
Best Makeup and Hairstyling - both win
Best Live-Action Short - both lost
As for the prize? Well, 5 g's are off the table, I'm sorry to say. It's not that he's not worth it, but he'd just piddle it away on rock candy and baseball cards............as soon as he figures out what baseball is. So I have to come up with a new plan.
Mike claims liquor stores only deliver cases of booze. Who would know more than he? It's probably not true and he's just seeing if I will send him a case of gin. Blobby didn't just fall off the liquor delivery truck yesterday, you know!
I'll figure it out. I suppose I can go back to baking him cookies, but swimsuit season is right around the corner.
Oh - and I stayed up for the entire show. I actually had to - and just because he shamed me (and he did!). I am the first to bag it and say I'll catch up in the a.m., because usually I've lost by the last quarter. This time, it literally came down to the last movie to see if we'd tie.
Spoiler Alert: we didn't. But honest to g-d, the second they announced Best Picture, I wished Mike the best and closed my laptop and headed upstairs to floss, brush and hit the hay.
I'm sure Mike stayed up to revel in his well-deserved win and scour the internet for pictures of Armie. I'm just guessing.
Song by: Peter, Paul & Mary
Tuesday, January 09, 2018
Games People Play
Does this look like the face of a winner?
I know - right?
But as luck would have it - for him - Mike is a "winner".
Again.
Somewhere in my walnut sized brain, I keep thinking those few victories I had were more than they were. I also keep second-guessing myself, which it seems is never good.
And somewhere along the lines, the people who vote for the Golden Globes aren't as quirky as they used to be. So I got left in the dust.
Honestly, One hour and fifty-five minutes in, before I won one fucking category. And yes, I timed it. And yes, that includes Seth M(e)yers' lame-assed monologue. Emphasis on the 'mono'......so it seemed a LOT longer.
Not that he's ever been funny, but there was winning this year. He was right in saying that it should have been a female host. It's the only way some of the "jokes" (and I'm being generous there) could have flown.
And do NOT start me on Oprah. No, I did not see her. Even if I didn't have laundry to get out of the dryer, I would have muted her. I am not a fan in any way. Mike claims she was good. There is some CNN article saying she is contemplating a 2020 run for president.
g-d fucking help us.
"You get a sewer system, YOU get a sewer system, you ALL get sewers systems!". Oh, it's the only way to make infrastructure fun, isn't it?
But srsly. Like we need another unqualified television gasbag in the White House. One is fucking enough. For fuck sake, she gave us Drs. Phil and Oz. Can her Cabinet selections be any better?
Oh - and she got an award for her "acting". But she's Oprah, so..........let's toss her a bone, so she doesn't get mad at us? Was Beloved that successful? (no......no it was not.)
Anyhoo.....let's see, the rest of the awards. Well first off, Sharon Stone. How do you get such round boobs?
and better yet, from where? You're 60. Those dirty pillows - whosever they are - are 24. Are they like your earrings: borrowed and you have to return them at the end of the show? #timesup on those.
I'd say, way to put it all out there, you know, with some of the dirtbags banned the ceremony and Hollywood.
....and poor poor Kirk Douglas. The poor guy didn't know where he was. Or who he was.
...and his daughter-in-law. Honey, this was a night about not being allowed to be sexually harassed, not for asking for it.
I suppose you kind of are asking for it when you buy your "dress" at Frederick's of Hollywood. Have you not one gay you can consult before stepping out of the house and in front of a wheelchair?
Ashley Judd was even there.......and let's face it, it's only because of scandal she helped break. It's not like she's starring in Double Jeopardy II....or anything else for that matter.
Enough about them. This was Mike's night. Aren't they all. And no, there was no question mark in that last sentence.
I'll give him credit. Considering he's only seen like one movie this year, he has not let that subscription to Entertainment Weekly go to waste. He must have devoured every word of their Awards Issue.
What? I mean, how can you expect him to best me, when this is how he starts his day:
Super Genius.
Still a win is a win. And he won. He's not getting cookies. I have to drop a stone, so why should I make them if I cannot partake? I figured something better.
The winner of the best picture was one I wanted but for one in which I didn't think anyone would vote: Three Billboards.
Mike and Peter have not seen it. Mike will tell me a date / time / theater where they will see it, and tickets will be waiting at the kiosk for them to pick up and view the movie. If I can find a way for Sno-Caps and popcorn to be waiting, it will happen. Maybe Jujubees, but those might tug on his partial.
Here's the breakdown, if anyone cares...........the awards were not in this order, so some of my
Best Motion Picture - Drama - Both Lost
Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy - Mike. Mike. Mike.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama - Both Lost
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama - Blobby wins.
Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy - Mike wins.
Best Director - Mike wins
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy - Mike wins
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture - Mike wins
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture - Mike wins
Best Original Score in a Motion Picture - Both Lost
Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture - Both Lost
Best Animated Film - Mike......yet again.
Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language - Blob wins. One.
Best TV series - Drama - Mike.....again.
Best performance by Actress in a TV series - Drama - Both Lose
Best performance by an Actor in a TV Series - Drama - Both Lose
Best TV series - Musical or Comedy - Blob wins. YAYYYYY
Best performance by an Actor in a TV series - Musical or Comedy - Blob wins
Best performance by an Actress in a TV series - Musical or Comedy - Both win
Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both win
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both Lost
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both Won
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Mike wins
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both Lost
All hail the victor.
(is my smirk showing?)
Song by: Alan Parsons Project
I know - right?
But as luck would have it - for him - Mike is a "winner".
Again.
Somewhere in my walnut sized brain, I keep thinking those few victories I had were more than they were. I also keep second-guessing myself, which it seems is never good.
And somewhere along the lines, the people who vote for the Golden Globes aren't as quirky as they used to be. So I got left in the dust.
Honestly, One hour and fifty-five minutes in, before I won one fucking category. And yes, I timed it. And yes, that includes Seth M(e)yers' lame-assed monologue. Emphasis on the 'mono'......so it seemed a LOT longer.
Not that he's ever been funny, but there was winning this year. He was right in saying that it should have been a female host. It's the only way some of the "jokes" (and I'm being generous there) could have flown.
And do NOT start me on Oprah. No, I did not see her. Even if I didn't have laundry to get out of the dryer, I would have muted her. I am not a fan in any way. Mike claims she was good. There is some CNN article saying she is contemplating a 2020 run for president.
g-d fucking help us.
"You get a sewer system, YOU get a sewer system, you ALL get sewers systems!". Oh, it's the only way to make infrastructure fun, isn't it?
But srsly. Like we need another unqualified television gasbag in the White House. One is fucking enough. For fuck sake, she gave us Drs. Phil and Oz. Can her Cabinet selections be any better?
Oh - and she got an award for her "acting". But she's Oprah, so..........let's toss her a bone, so she doesn't get mad at us? Was Beloved that successful? (no......no it was not.)
Anyhoo.....let's see, the rest of the awards. Well first off, Sharon Stone. How do you get such round boobs?
and better yet, from where? You're 60. Those dirty pillows - whosever they are - are 24. Are they like your earrings: borrowed and you have to return them at the end of the show? #timesup on those.
I'd say, way to put it all out there, you know, with some of the dirtbags banned the ceremony and Hollywood.
....and poor poor Kirk Douglas. The poor guy didn't know where he was. Or who he was.
...and his daughter-in-law. Honey, this was a night about not being allowed to be sexually harassed, not for asking for it.
I suppose you kind of are asking for it when you buy your "dress" at Frederick's of Hollywood. Have you not one gay you can consult before stepping out of the house and in front of a wheelchair?
Ashley Judd was even there.......and let's face it, it's only because of scandal she helped break. It's not like she's starring in Double Jeopardy II....or anything else for that matter.
Enough about them. This was Mike's night. Aren't they all. And no, there was no question mark in that last sentence.
I'll give him credit. Considering he's only seen like one movie this year, he has not let that subscription to Entertainment Weekly go to waste. He must have devoured every word of their Awards Issue.
What? I mean, how can you expect him to best me, when this is how he starts his day:
Super Genius.
Still a win is a win. And he won. He's not getting cookies. I have to drop a stone, so why should I make them if I cannot partake? I figured something better.
The winner of the best picture was one I wanted but for one in which I didn't think anyone would vote: Three Billboards.
Mike and Peter have not seen it. Mike will tell me a date / time / theater where they will see it, and tickets will be waiting at the kiosk for them to pick up and view the movie. If I can find a way for Sno-Caps and popcorn to be waiting, it will happen. Maybe Jujubees, but those might tug on his partial.
Here's the breakdown, if anyone cares...........the awards were not in this order, so some of my
Best Motion Picture - Drama - Both Lost
Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy - Mike. Mike. Mike.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama - Both Lost
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama - Blobby wins.
Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy - Mike wins.
Best Director - Mike wins
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy - Mike wins
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture - Mike wins
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture - Mike wins
Best Original Score in a Motion Picture - Both Lost
Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture - Both Lost
Best Animated Film - Mike......yet again.
Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language - Blob wins. One.
Best TV series - Drama - Mike.....again.
Best performance by Actress in a TV series - Drama - Both Lose
Best performance by an Actor in a TV Series - Drama - Both Lose
Best TV series - Musical or Comedy - Blob wins. YAYYYYY
Best performance by an Actor in a TV series - Musical or Comedy - Blob wins
Best performance by an Actress in a TV series - Musical or Comedy - Both win
Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both win
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both Lost
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both Won
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Mike wins
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Both Lost
All hail the victor.
(is my smirk showing?)
Song by: Alan Parsons Project
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
You Can't Win
For whom the bell tolls. It tolls for.......(not) me.
Ok....ok......I drafted part of this before the televised event, so I had to use a strikethrough, though I could have just deleted.
The 'you' in the title refers to me, of course. I'm not sure how many more loses I can endure, though I think Mike seems to like keeping me around for this reason only. ....and I buy the drinks. Probably in the reverse order.
Probably.
The television academy has spoken, and folks.........THIS is what a virtual sweep looks like.
Song by: Kelly Clarkson
Ok....ok......I drafted part of this before the televised event, so I had to use a strikethrough, though I could have just deleted.
The 'you' in the title refers to me, of course. I'm not sure how many more loses I can endure, though I think Mike seems to like keeping me around for this reason only. ....and I buy the drinks. Probably in the reverse order.
Probably.
The television academy has spoken, and folks.........THIS is what a virtual sweep looks like.
Drama Series - Blobby wins.
Actor, Drama Series - Mike wins
Actress, Drama Series - Mike wins
Supporting Actor, Drama Series - both win
Supporting Actress, Drama Series - both lose
Comedy Series - both win
Actor, Comedy Series - Mike wins
Actress, Comedy Series - both win
Supporting Actor, Comedy Series - we both win
Supporting Actress, Comedy Series - Mike wins
Limited Series - Mike wins
Actor, Limited Series or Movie - both lose
Supporting Actor, Limited Series or Movie - Mike Wins
Actress, Limited Series or Movie - Mike wins
Supporting Actress, Limited Series or Movie - Mike wins
Television Movie - Mike wins
Variety Talk Series - both lose
Variety Sketch Series - both win
Actor, Drama Series - Mike wins
Actress, Drama Series - Mike wins
Supporting Actor, Drama Series - both win
Supporting Actress, Drama Series - both lose
Comedy Series - both win
Actor, Comedy Series - Mike wins
Actress, Comedy Series - both win
Supporting Actor, Comedy Series - we both win
Supporting Actress, Comedy Series - Mike wins
Limited Series - Mike wins
Actor, Limited Series or Movie - both lose
Supporting Actor, Limited Series or Movie - Mike Wins
Actress, Limited Series or Movie - Mike wins
Supporting Actress, Limited Series or Movie - Mike wins
Television Movie - Mike wins
Variety Talk Series - both lose
Variety Sketch Series - both win
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckidy Fuck Fuck.
Mike and I chatted during the telecast, but it wasn't as lively as previous shows. I dare say, neither of us were as witty as usual, though I'm all sure he'd claim he was. (pssssst........he wasn't.)
He took an early lead - two of the first three categories - and kept it.
I know I said this contest was a game of chance, but even I have better luck at roulette. And I know that Mike's were all guesses as he didn't even know many of those shows for which he voted, and he is so short attention span (see, what I did there?) that he has never actually finished VEEP, Master of None, Little Big Lies (hell, I didn't even start that), or I dunno....Three's Company (though I hear he's an avid fan of the Ropers).
That Mike is a kind soul though - so don't believe everything you read on-line about him. He says we can go double-or-nothing for the Oscars, so I don't have to pay up now.
However, I did ask him what double amount of cookies looked like, other than diabetes and a 38" waist. (though you know I will win the Oscar race only because that means I get the 'nothing'. Balls!)
.....I'm still waiting on that response.
He took an early lead - two of the first three categories - and kept it.
I know I said this contest was a game of chance, but even I have better luck at roulette. And I know that Mike's were all guesses as he didn't even know many of those shows for which he voted, and he is so short attention span (see, what I did there?) that he has never actually finished VEEP, Master of None, Little Big Lies (hell, I didn't even start that), or I dunno....Three's Company (though I hear he's an avid fan of the Ropers).
That Mike is a kind soul though - so don't believe everything you read on-line about him. He says we can go double-or-nothing for the Oscars, so I don't have to pay up now.
However, I did ask him what double amount of cookies looked like, other than diabetes and a 38" waist. (though you know I will win the Oscar race only because that means I get the 'nothing'. Balls!)
.....I'm still waiting on that response.
Friday, September 15, 2017
Play the Game
Somewhere between my third margarita and me Sammy Jo'ing his unfinished (too warm, he whined!) , and then the eventual beer, I somehow agreed to be Mike's (should I even bother linking a long forgotten about blog.....because he can't remember his password??) dessert enabler by doing the 2017 Emmy awards thingy.....no year...no trademark.
I'm not winning this one. I watch TV, but not Emmy TV.
While I know all contests (and friendships) are a game of chance, this one (the contest, not as much the friendship....though it is always on shaky ground) is a complete shot in the dark.
As mentioned, this is just a way for Mike to get dessert delivered to his door, because he cannot be bothered to go to 7-11 for his 3-pack of Suzy-Qs.
Like I said: 100% guesses. .....maybe with some comments along the way.
DRAMA SERIES
Nominees: "Better Call Saul"; "The Crown"; "The Handmaid's Tale"; "House of Cards"; "Stranger Things"; "This Is Us"; "Westworld." (because I "heard" it was good.)
ACTOR, DRAMA SERIES
Nominees: Matthew Rhys, "The Americans"; Bob Odenkirk, "Better Call Saul"; Kevin Spacey, "House of Cards"; Liev Schreiber, "Ray Donovan"; Sterling K. Brown, "This Is Us"; Milo Ventimiglia, "This Is Us"; Anthony Hopkins, "Westworld." (I dunno. Because it's Hannibal?)
ACTRESS, DRAMA SERIES
Nominees: Keri Russell, "The Americans"; Claire Foy, "The Crown"; Elisabeth Moss, "The Handmaid's Tale"; Robin Wright, "House of Cards"; Viola Davis, "How to Get Away With Murder"; Evan Rachel Wood, "Westworld." (because she was good. I wouldn't rule out Moss.)
SUPPORTING ACTOR, DRAMA SERIES
Nominees: Jonathan Banks, "Better Call Saul"; John Lithgow, "The Crown"; Mandy Patinkin, "Homeland"; Michael Kelly, "House of Cards"; David Harbour, "Stranger Things"; Ron Cephas Jones, "This Is Us"; Jeffrey Wright, "Westworld." (because I didn't see any of the others.)
SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA SERIES
Nominees: Ann Dowd, "The Handmaid's Tale"; Samira Wiley, "The Handmaid's Tale"; Uzo Aduba, "Orange Is The New Black"; Millie Bobby Brown, "Stranger Things"; Chrissy Metz, "This Is Us"; Thandie Newton, "Westworld."
COMEDY SERIES
Nominees: "Atlanta"; "black-ish"; "Master of None"; "Modern Family"; "Silicon Valley"; "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"; "Veep." (I wish Silicon Valley or Master of None would take it.....but I don't think they shall. ....and is it just me or is Modern Family o-v-e-r? Veep is still worthy.)
ACTOR, COMEDY SERIES
Nominees: Donald Glover, "Atlanta"; Zach Galifianakis, "Baskets"; Anthony Anderson, "black-ish"; Aziz Ansari, "Master of None"; William H. Macy, "Shameless"; Jeffrey Tambor, "Transparent." (I'd like to see Ansari win, but one should never bet against a transgendered character.....ever.)
ACTRESS, COMEDY SERIES
Nominees: Pamela Adlon, "Better Things"; Tracee Ellis Ross, "black-ish"; Jane Fonda, "Grace and Frankie"; Lily Tomlin, "Grace and Frankie"; Allison Janney, "Mom"; Ellie Kemper, "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "Veep." (c'mon! It's fucking Selina Meyer.)
SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY SERIES
Nominees: Louie Anderson, "Baskets"; Ty Burrell, "Modern Family"; Alec Baldwin, "Saturday Night Live"; Tituss Burgess, "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"; Tony Hale, "Veep"; Matt Walsh, "Veep." (I ain't bettin' against Baldwin's SCROTUS.)
SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY SERIES
Nominees: Vanessa Bayer, "Saturday Night Live"; Leslie Jones, "Saturday Night Live"; Kate McKinnon, "Saturday Night Live"; Kathryn Hahn, "Transparent"; Judith Light, "Transparent"; Anna Chlumsky, "Veep." (this is for the win, not the want. Still want Chlumsky to win.)
LIMITED SERIES
Nominees: "Big Little Lies"; "Fargo"; "Feud: Bette and Joan"; "Genius"; "The Night Of." (because the camp of Bette and Joan can only take one so far.)
ACTOR, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Nominees: Ewan McGregor, "Fargo"; Geoffrey Rush, "Genius"; Riz Ahmed, "The Night Of"; John Turturro, "The Night Of"; Benedict Cumberbatch, "Sherlock: The Lying Detective"; Robert De Niro, "The Wizard of Lies." (because it's Ewan. And De Niro was blah.)
SUPPORTING ACTOR, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Nominees: Alexander Skarsgard, "Big Little Lies"; David Thewlis, "Fargo"; Alfred Molina, "Feud: Bette and Joan"; Stanley Tucci, "Feud: Bette and Joan"; Bill Camp, "The Night Of"; Michael Kenneth Williams, "The Night Of." (because I just don't know.....or care.)
ACTRESS, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Nominees: Felicity Huffman, "American Crime"; Nicole Kidman, "Big Little Lies"; Reese Witherspoon, "Big Little Lies"; Carrie Coon, "Fargo"; Jessica Lange, "Feud: Bette and Joan"; Susan Sarandon, "Feud: Bette and Joan." (maybe Reese Withherfork can EGOT someday.)
SUPPORTING ACTRESS, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE
Nominees: Regina King, "American Crime"; Laura Dern, "Big Little Lies"; Shailene Woodley, "Big Little Lies"; Judy Davis, "Feud: Bette and Joan"; Jackie Hoffman, "Feud: Bette and Joan"; Michelle Pfeiffer, "The Wizard of Lies." (I adore Jackie Hoffman, but.......)
TELEVISION MOVIE
Nominees: "Black Mirror," ''Dolly Parton's Christmas of Many Colors: Circle of Love," ''The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks"; "Sherlock: The Lying Detective," ''The Wizard of Lies." (I know Mike will pick Dolly, because well, he's a breast man, but....not me.)
VARIETY TALK SERIES
Nominees: "Full Frontal With Samantha Bee"; "Jimmy Kimmel Live"; "Last Week Tonight With John Oliver"; "The Late Late Show With James Corden"; "The Late Show With Stephen Colbert; "Real Time With Bill Maher." (all are worthy - but Colbet's been more critical of Dump. That will by a lot of Hollywood votes.....and everyone knows girls can't be talk show hosts!)
VARIETY SKETCH SERIES
Nominees: "Billy on the Street"; "Documentary Now!"; "Drunk History"; "Portlandia"; "Saturday Night Live"; "Tracey Ullman's Show." (I want it to be "Billy on the Street", but SNL had Baldwin and Melissa McCarthy)
The Emmys are Sunday night. Winner will be announced on Tuesday.
The Emmys are Sunday night. Winner will be announced on Tuesday.
Song by: Queen
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