Only You

I find it almost implausible that Mike saw multiple entries into this (well, last) year's movies. I supposed when you're older and retired one can plant themselves in the reclining seats at the theater and get the gist of the movie while you actually take your daily nap. 

Though I'm sure he's awake enough for popcorn and Jujubes. 

We had fun texting during the awards. He had to remind me they were actually on. It never occurred to me they'd start at 19:00. 

Regarding the show, there wasn't much to be critical of - except Cynthia Erivo's nails. I could not figure out how she'd work a toilet paper roll, but Mike assured me she "had people for that". We both figured that physically Demi Moore was unable to fully close her mouth. Botox gone bad? And Timothy Chalamet just needs a long bath. Lots of soap and scrubbing. 

And while I like Adrian Brody, man that 110 minute speech just tested everyone's patience. Everyone being Mike and myself. If it were the Gong Show.......I'm 100% certain JP Morgan or Jaime Farr would have hit it. 

I loved Mick Jagger coming out to present. He's older than Mitch McConnell who couldn't have flowed across that stage with as much fluidity (read: any) of Mick. Mike thought he looked like a Muppet.  I'm assuming he meant Janice. 

This also looks about how Meg Ryan did during the last award. Mind you, this is way better than she has in the past few years.  .....and Goldie Hawn's very very recent face peel looked ok on the 173 year old actress. 

Ok, maybe I had a few more criticisms than I thought. 

Normally we are in the mid-single digits for things on which we differ - at least movie wise. This year, there were 11 (!!) things up for contention. On the other 12 we would either both gonna win or lose together, so it really came down to the 11. 

I like prime numbers, so I felt this might be an omen. A good one. Not like the Damien kind. It's also an odd number, which theoretically means we could not tie as we have done in the past. 

And trust me, there was no tie. The aforementioned omen much more evil than Damien. I was Lee Remmick dangling from the upper staircase in this metaphor. 

Mike prevailed. Again. He only loves his alcohol more than his Oscar wins. Only one of those won't hurt his liver.....unless he falls onto the statuette. 

Mathematically it was over for me a little more than halfway through. Mike got the first six (of the 11) very early on, and eventually near the end, Only after he got those six, I finally eked out three. I really started to think it would be a total shut out. Two other categories we both lost on. 

Don't get me wrong, I picked many categories correctly, but those were all ties with Mike. Just my individual selections bombed. 

In the past, Mike, appropriately so, has made fun of me for not sticking with the telecast. But as this started an hour earlier and mostly moved along (well, except for Brody), I was awake for the entire thing. I thought Conan did a decent job. 

Mike was a gracious winner - I mean, as gracious as he can be with barely showing empathy and / or compassion. Bottom line - he stopped short of pointing and laughing at me. At least via text. What went on in person is anyone's guess. 

Meanwhile, I remained pleasant and congratulated him on his win. I said 'congrats', what more do you people want from me????

I was afraid the accounting team of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe were not going to be available for results tabulation due to all the work going on at DOGE, but then it occurred to me that DOGE aren't actually doing any auditing. So the trio was able to squeeze us into their busy schedules making sure the 14th Annual Academy Award Guessing Games®  is on the up and up. 

Best picture - both win

Best director - Blobby wins

Best actress - both lost

Best actor - both win

Best supporting actress - Mike wins

Best supporting actor -  both win

Best original screenplay - Mike wins

Best adapted screenplay - both win

Best international feature - both win

Best documentary feature - Mike wins

Best animated feature - Mike wins

Best cinematography - both win

Best costume design - both win

Best film editing - Mike wins

Best production design - both win

Best original score - both win

Best original song - both win

Best sound - Blobby wins

Best visual effects - both win

Best makeup and hairstyling - Mike wins

Best documentary short - both lose

Best animated short - both lose

Best live-action short - Blobby wins

It is amazing to note that we have done this for 14 years. Mike is a good foil and overall a decent guy. I just give him a hard time here.............and no doubt will continue to do so. 

Until next year, when the Pauley Shore biopic comes out with Emo Phillips as the star........we will see you at the movies. 

Song by: Yaz