Monday, May 26, 2008

Record of the Month

I figured I'd do a monthly 'what I'm listening to' kind of thing. This could be viewed as a lame placeholder kind of post. And probably it is. But it's my blog! So there!

These may or may not be newly released disks. They might not even be a good disk - just what is been in heavy rotation in my car (as usually the iPod is playing anywhere else).

What kind of homo would I be if I didn't use Madonna's new disk, Hard Candy as one of my Record of the Month postings?

Well, I wouldn't be a homo at all!!!! Shit like this is about all that keeps my membership active in the Gay Club anyway.

I'm sure this review could get me kicked out the club entirely, but it's a risk I'm wiling to take.

Total review in a few words? Overall, I'm non-plussed. It's better than American Life - but really, what does that say? To paraphrase Medusa, 'it's just cold boogers on a paper plate'.

Ok - maybe not as bad as snot, but there is nothing on here that isn't anything Nelly Farturdo, Gwen Stefani and a host of other middle of the road artists haven't done in the last five years.

This kind of bland hip-hop that is meant to cater to white folk and radio programmers is just lame. Releasing Hard Candy makes Madonna the equivalent of the 55 year old man who wears a pony tail and an earring to make him feel young and hip, when all it really does is bring attention to how old he really is.

The first single, "4 Minutes" is probably the most accessible, but it isn't as much 'a song' as it is spliced together phrases that they've edited into a complete song. Ironically, they go over by 0:00:03 (since they have 4 minutes to save the world) but the song effectively ends at the 3:41 mark. They couldn't even muster up the energy for 20 more seconds of real or looped music. It's also weird how Justin Timberlake's vocals are almost indistinguishable to that of Madonna's.

The only other song that kind of, sort of, resonated with me was "Give It 2 Me". The "rap" in the middle is horrible and distracting from what is/was otherwise a decent song, even if it has elements of Kylie Minogue's "Slow" (yes, thank you LOGO's NewNowNext for making me figure that one out).

But the rest is pretty much throw away. The overused lyrical phrases and the 'moon-june-spoon' rhyme scheme is boring.

I finally figured out why all the "guest artists" keep saying/singing the word "Madonna" - because, they have to remind you whose album you're actually listening to - since it could be just about anyone. Or that her ego is so huge, she has to hear someone say it at timed intervals.

This has been placed into our digital catalog, but I won't be rotating through it often. Take away my membership if you must.

1 comment:

RJ March said...

Better than "American Life"? I've got a strong attachment to that release due to atmosphere then-- strange, hot, nearly abusive, long-distance bf, living on my own, strange,strange days.

Found no real hook on 1st listening to HC. Haven't listened to it since. Far too interested in Tusk.