Lament on the OuterbeltWhy must you be so troublesome, I-270?
Built umpteen years ago (or possibly 32), you've been in perpetual reconstruction ever since. Nary a day has gone by that I have ever been on you that lanes, ramps and entire sections of road have not been closed. The orange barrel your only friend.
Your on and off ramps are mocking to the best of drivers and deadly to the worst. Is having 75 feet to merge onto the highway while the same stretch to get into the corresponding off ramp funny?
I have been on your surface but single digit times over double digit years and yet only for moments do I forget why that is (save moving from your city limits a dozen years ago). You are a cruel by-pass that takes longer to use than going through the center of town. You take me to places I would not normally venture nor ever really want to go. You have cruel signs that read North, South, East and West. You keep a multitude of minivans in perpetual hell. They spin in their own orbit from Westerville to Hilliard to Grovetucky to Worthington where they seemingly have no way to break the inertia.
It is no wonder no one can break your spell. Your signage is beyond comprehension and no one who does not drive you daily could ever find which exit to get off at and how to break through the barriers to get there.
Jon used to 'joke' about never driving beyond the outerbelt. My theory is: It is not the life beyond that cement band that had him frightened - it was being sucked into you soulless vortex that scared the bejesus out of him.
He had no idea how much like heaven Delaware could be compared to you.
1 comment:
LOL! Is is any wonder I used to need to orient myself to my parent's house before I could get us to the bowling alley?
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