While I have not fully divested from social media, I have cut WAY back. News, as little as I would see, is now almost non-existent.
My anger is just coming out in other ways.
Yesterday was also the last day of our city leaf pick-up. Our taxes are substantial, so at least they collect our leaves every year. Always twice, sometimes thrice. But they put out a notice that there will be no third time this year. Budgets, I'm assuming.
We also have a yard service. They are ok and they are to do four leaf cleanings per fall, but we were unsure if they had done three or four already. Last week, I raked and used the leaf blower because the last leaf collection was to be last week. They never showed and then changed the date to yesterday.
So yesterday morning, late enough not to be a huge asshole, I fired up the blower again to do the last remaining leaves.
You know, when the lawn service does the work, I don't care (or notice) that there are stray leafs here and there. When I do it......ugggggh. The O in OCD really shines. It is not pretty. And it's horribly time consuming.
The blower was no match for Mother Nature. I had to get the detritus to the west side of the property. The winds were brisk and constant and coming directly from the west.
It was a one step forward two fifteen steps back scenario. The leaves would just come back into my face. ....and I was fighting the clock too, before the city came to get the debris. I ran out gas twice trying to get it all done.
I was so irrationally angry.....................at the wind.
Not about it - at it.
Yeah. I know.
My poor neighbor Andy, putting up this Charlie Brown-ish xmas lights, heard me say, "MOTHERFUCK!" well more than once - and over the drone of the leaf blower, and from across the street. I should apologize at some point.
Perhaps my anger / frustration was just redirected at the weather; something else I cannot control (like news and politics), which then makes it more frustrating, creating that so-called vicious cycle everyone talks about. At least that was the discussion with my shrink.
Irony #1 - as I was having my therapy session, right after I "completed" the leaves, the yard service showed up to do their final clean. 710 stopped them, saying we didn't know they'd be back and it was completed. 710 said they high-5'd each other going back to the truck.
Irony #2 - the city never came to collect the leaves.
Song by: Mumford & Sons
5 comments:
I’d have made the Yard Service take the leaves , We still have Detritus from Helene and Milton at the curb, luckily my yard person took mine away , but our governor is an idiot . So apparently no Minor FEMA services. I feel for my neighbors having Thanksgiving with dried out palm fronds and limbs in their face.
Has your therapist explained that men suffering from depression tend to use anger to cope. It’s not a conscious action.
Think of the leaves as nature's mulch. My sisters second husband was a psychologist, who's favorite saying was "control is an illusion." There is very little we can actually control. He just smoked away his stress (died of cancer.)
dadburnit Blobby. Just stop it or you'll scare the cat.
You picked the wrong decade to give up sniffing glue
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