Frustrated

Physical Therapy has begun. 

Maybe I should be thrilled. Right now, I'm not. 

The start wasn't great. I'll set the scene. 

I had a 06:45 time. It was 36°F and pouring rain. 

Not one of the staff was on-site. None. When I finally got in, it was news news news news news in the lobby and I can't turn off their tv and the shit about Matt Gaetz for Attorney General. 

JFC. I just about lost it the evening before when 710 told me that Gaetz tidbit. By the time I got back to my actual therapy evaluation, I just felt defeated before we even started. And it's always fun to check the boxes on your medical history form about depression and anxiety. Honestly, I doubt they even look at them, and if so, how would that even alter my PT?

I was frustrated before this was even scheduled. I know enough and my doc knows enough that PT was on the horizon. I didn't ask. He didn't say.............until I was on my cane. Then he said I should schedule it. That took almost five weeks to get in anywhere. Had it been told when I went on crutches, I could have scheduled it five weeks out, when I came off them.  So, I feel I'm already behind by almost a month.

Anyhooo...... at this appointment we talked about my injury. Clearly, the the-rapist didn't read ahead, so had no idea what I was doing there, why, or when anything occurred.  

"Where exactly is the fracture?".  Exactly?  How the fuck would I know??  I showed her the general area and told her she could look at the image on my electronic record for specifics. A patient should not have to direct a caregiver's work. 

All the exercises she gave me - six in all - I already had been doing prior to the injury. Granted, they had been too painful to do for a while, but I can get back to them. Since I never stopped doing them during my training, this does not give me confidence in the possibility of recurrence. 

We barely talked about running. She asked if I ever had a gait analysis. 

I did tell her no, but also that it was part of the referral from my ortho doc for PT to give me one. I just saw her blink several times with zero verbal response. 

As this was the eval process, I felt it unwise and unnecessary to ask when I could start running - though I am signed up for two races - even if I walk. 

PT is so busy. This practice was my FIFTH choice. The others couldn't get me in until December of after. Even at weekly sessions, I only see this therapist twice. The rest will be with others, which might suit me better. She did not wow me. I was not waiting weeks between sessions to just see her. That is not worth my while. 

While I know it is the road to recovery, I'm frustrated by not running and I'm frustrated by this seemingly shoddy endeavour. 

Short story:  I'm frustrated. 

Song by: the Knack