BLOBBY'S BLOG

MY BIGGEST FEAR

Dying in an airplane crash is easy. Another appendectomy? - a breeze! Another 4 yrs of the Bush administration a bit tougher. Listening to Jessica Simpson records? - excruciating. Going to the dentist = Jessica Simpson recordings +1. ...and that's just if it were a cleaning!

For those who don't know, Blobby loathes the dentist. I blame Dr. Stibbe who filled all eight of my once-cavities w/out a drop of novicaine. These were not all done at one time, but over the course of appointments. Not that my sisters didn't get the drug as needed. Just not me it seemed. Sadistic fucker.

It put me off the dentist for YEARS. To the point I HAD to go. You'd think I would have ended up w/horrible dental issues, but I still have 31 of my own teeth (and pretty nice ones at that) + one crown that I ended up with due to the Starburst debacle of 1998! (Trust me - you do NOT want to know!) . Yeah, I had a deep root cleaning or two to get my gums back into shape, but the damage of 7yrs away from the dentist was mostly to my psyche.

After getting the crown, I decided it was time to become a regular dentist-goer. And I've been pretty religious about it. Every six months. I won't even leave the dentist's office w/out scheduling my next appointment. I know if I leave there w/out it, I will never make one.

Rebecca told me that I should get a female dentist. They are gentler and have smaller hands, she says. Laugh if you must, but she was dead-on right. Actually, she said a chinese female dentist, but this is Cleveland. I'll take what I can get. Mine is Polish. Dr. Dorothy is great. Ironically, it seems that none of the equipment in the office has been updated since 1966. I fear the day I will need something more than a cleaning - and that day is coming. My next visit I will have a filling replaced. I actually talked them out of it last time. "Is it that bad that it reallllllly needs to be done today?" I'm wagering I can't get away w/that twice.

I get reprimanded that I don't floss hard enough. Denton cringes at how hard I do it, yet it's not hard enough for either Dr. Dorothy or her partner, Dr. Jay. I floss daily. I have it in my office, home and car - just in case. (As Morty once said to my former boss: "It's better to be anal about your oral hygiene than oral about your anal hygiene!". Oh and he said it right in front of my boss' wife. Great first impression.)

Anyhoooo......this controlled form of dentistry I am handling. The biggest fear to which the subject header refers to is Self Dentistry!!!

the London Guardian reported that there is a rise in the UK on DIY dentistry.

I guess they needed another volume of The Big Book for British Smiles for their library shelves!