Penis Song

I'm a moron. 

That statement really isn't up for debate. I think it is just a fact. 

This past week or so has just been awful for outdoor runs. The heat and humidity have been no joke. 

On days when I can, I try to run before the sun comes up. And I'm not sure it makes a difference - or that much of one. Heat is heat. And humidity is just heavy and wet. 

Yesterday was no different. My run clubs training plan was for eight miles, but I knew I needed more, as my fall race is about four weeks before 90% of everyone else's. 

In my head, I wanted 16. In reality I was figuring 12. 

Normally we don't run from a park along the lake, but yesterday we did. I went out for nine miles before the group met up and I did an additional five with them. 

My moron comment comes from me always checking the temp - but never the humidity. 

87%. That what is was. At 06:30.  87 fucking percent. 

Sweat wicking gear was a joke. It was like wearing neoprene. Dare to stretch from your body and it snapped back like a taut rubber band. 

I ran out of water at mile 11. At mile 12 I was back to "what makes you think you could or should run a marathon?" playing in my head. 

I am racked with self-doubt on many things, but this is the one that truly bothers me. 

As I approached the end, I did a semi-shortcut to my car. I kicked off my shoes, I peeled off my shirt and hat. Then I walked right into Lake Erie and dove in. 

Water temps were 73°F.  

It was refreshing but I was still sweating even after 10 minutes in the water. This is the third time that I've ever been in the Lake. With so many states (22 to be accurate) reporting an epidemic of explosive diarrhea I figure any bacteria in the water would do that to me.  

So now........it's a waiting game. 

I did take a very very cold outdoor shower at the shelter house afterwards, but it did little to stop the sweating. But it felt great. 

On a side note:  as I was walking across the sand to the water, I saw some good looking man walking, scuffing his feet a bit. As I got closer, I saw he had traced a large penis in the sand, along with spurting liquid markings coming form the head. 

I couldn't help but laugh and told him, "great, the one time I don't have my phone and camera". 

He goes, "I've been waiting for my wife to notice what I've been doing and tell me to grow up. But at least it's anatomically accurate - and true to size."   We laugh and laugh. 

His wife finally looks up to see what's he's done and just shakes her head and without a word goes back to her phone. We laugh again. I go in the water. 

It's a good day. 

Song by: Macklemore