Dream Police

My favourite heard criticism of porn is how it sets unrealistic expectations of how quickly one can get a plumber to come over. 

I've said similar things about the attractiveness of cable guys, truck drivers, firemen and police. 

Yesterday did nothing to disprove my thoughts. 

As promised, before the sun was over the Atlantic horizon, I stepped off into what would become a seven mile run. Once completed, I walked around the house in which we are staying, shed everything but my shorts and jumped into the ocean. It felt great. 

710 was watching me from the upper balcony with his morning coffee and was nice enough to meet me with a towel. I showered (well, in the most liberal sense of the word) outside wrapped a towel around me and went in. 

Our bedroom is on the second level. The kitchen and main living area are on the third. I know. It seems weird. But on the second level outdoor area, I finished toweling myself off and put on my clothes. For 0.87 seconds I had nothing on. But worry not, I'm not visible to the beach and there is no one occupying the places on either side of us. And anything longer than a full second, I start charging. 

I go up to 3 and make my oatmeal. It cooks, I pour milk in and then there is a pounding on the door - down on 2.  

"POLICE!!!!"

Well. Fuck.

As I open the door to two cops, it seems 710 encounters another out back with a third - as that is where he was having his coffee. Just three floors up. 

To relieve your suspense, no one called on me for being indecent. 

A "neighbor" had called saying it looked like someone was "b&e'ing".  It took me a second. I was not breaking and / or entering. Well, I entered, I suppose.

"They" told the po-po that the place wasn't being rented (!!!) and there was no car, but someone ("matching your description") tugging on doors and walking outside the perimeter of the house. 

710 got his phone to show them the rental agreement. Me telling them my car has been inside the garage for three days and I came back from my run and walked behind the house to get to the ocean. 

The only tugging on a door was me closing the front one behind me. IF anyone saw that, then they also saw me doing 10 minutes of stretching before I ran. Pervs!

I mean, I get it. Better safe than sorry shit. But how the fuck would anyone know - save the owner and rental property folk - who or when something is being rented on an island that has hundreds and hundreds of rentals.

About this time the Sargent came up the stairs and semi-apologized saying that people around here were skittish, as there has been an active shooting incident the summer before. I only half-believed that story. 

Each of the cops were professional and appropriate.  Just unattractive. Each uglier than the last. I mean, where's the payoff????

And the kicker??  My oatmeal had congealed in that 10 minutes. 

Where's MY justice??

Song by: Cheap Trick