Hair

I can grow a mustache, goatee or beard in four days time. 

It's not a brag. Just a fact.

This is one of the reasons I'm so carefree with a razor and can of shaving cream. Should I not like what I see, in less than half a fortnight, no one is any the wiser. 

My niece will be able to choose how she wants to see me in her wedding photos - as long as it's not clean shaven. That I'm not down for. I have had some form of facial hair since, sheeesh, 1988? 1990?

I always say "it's the only hair I have, so I have to change it.....". 

710 rolls his eyes at me. "You have hair!", he'll remind me. 

I tell people I'm bald - including the DMV and the State Department - but in reality, I'm bald by choice. 

I started losing my hair at 21. Since 1997 (?) I had been buzzing my head down to the barest of stubble. Since 2011, I've been shaving that sucker. Never to look back. 

710 isn't lying. I do have hair. Some hair. Not like on the frontal lobe area. But the dreaded 'ring'. That ring that men will keep to their dying gasp as some kind of would-be virility symbol. Even before I was actively losing my hair, I knew I didn't want to be 'that guy'. 

I'm not extremely proud of this, but I had a stretch of a weekend and three runs where I just didn't shower. It was runs......then dog hikes......then yard work.....repeat. It seemed silly to keep showering, so I didn't!  It's not like I was going out an seeing anyone. 

However, when I don't shower, I don't shave. Yes, at home or the gym, I shave head and face in the shower. 

Nothing else. 

Just for you curious minds who were about to ask it anyways. (well, sometimes my shoulders.)

So in that 2-3 day time frame I had slight fuzz on my head. Low level curiosity got the better of me and I opted only to have my face and neck. 

In case anyone was wondering, that pic atop is not Crystal Gayle........but yours truly. 

This is what two weeks of hair growth on Blobby looks like. 

That's it. 

When I started this adventure, I was wondering what colour it would grow in to be. Honestly, I look at it in the mirror and I can't even tell. 

For the record, 710 never noticed at all.  A friend I ran into said - "hey! hair!!".   Yes, thanks for that. 

However hair works, it certainly doesn't grow at the same rate on my head as it does on my face or tops of my toes. It just makes it slightly harder to get lotion with SPF 45 on my scalp. 

It'd say it was an "interesting experiment" but that might be a huge fucking stretch of the term. Either word. Or both. 

The rub will be, it is just long enough to kill a razor with one use. I just haven't committed to when this will happen. 

Song by: Michigander