BLOBBY'S BLOG

GET NERVOUS

.....get nervous....get nervous....get nervous..... (may as well keep Pat Benatar in all my posts from now on, eh?).

So - am I losing my job today?



Yes, I bet that comes as a shock to everyone. Present company included. It remains to be seen, but odds are there is something in the wind. Majorly.

I basically have two bosses. Technically I only have one. I work for a department headed by a physician - he is not my boss, though he thinks he is and which I have much more contact with him than my actual boss. I actually report to someone who works in 'the division'. My job is to make sure the department runs the way the division and organization want - while trying to appease the clinical staff.

So the secretary for my 'real' boss calls me yesterday afternoon to schedule me for a 2p today. No - she says she doesn't know the topic. The boss doesn't answer my emails asking what the meeting is about. All ignored.

I should mention that the division is going through some reorganization. The talk has always been how to restructure administratively. Discussions all over the board about how we won't have traditional reporting structures to there won't be any significant changes.

My doc (boss) really wanted to talk to me right before I left yesterday. That is his M.O., so I'd normally think little of it. But coupled w/the unexpected meeting w/no topic w/my boss-boss, my back was up. My instincts were good. Turns out there will be an administrative reshuffling that he is not liking it all. He's the kind of guy who could care less if it doesn't affect him - so if he's not liking, it means this reshuffling will. I did ask him outright if I was being fired - and the answer was 'no'. But keep in mind - he's not truly my boss.

Any movement cannot be based on performance - as in my 10.75 yrs here, all my evaluations have fully met or exceeded expectations. So, I don't know how exactly they'd base this. I've been here longer than some others, though not in this position. But I'm also not the lowest man on the totem pole in this position.

I could be going worse-case scenario. That is my nature. If they wanted me gone-gone, they'd have just shown me the door - right? I mean, that's how I've done it. Or since it's budget season will they tell me my position has an end-date - like when budget is done, APRs are done etc?

As you can imagine, last night was not a good one for me...and today will drag on for-fucking-ever. I have never been fired or downsized - so I'm slightly queasy. It's just the uneasiness of not knowing, I guess. That and the possibility of having two people in a household who are looking for employment.

Ironically, I've been interviewing for a job w/in the organization that I really want. Now it turns out I might really need it.