Friday, February 07, 2025

Everybody's Gay

I've held off a week writing this one, though on our Sunday call, I was encouraged to do so. 

So, last Saturday was our Old Man's Running Group annual banquet. Food. Desserts. Two drink tickets and a presentation. 

As we are a charitable non-profit, there is a little presentation about how much we raised, and where those funds ended up going. There is also an awards ceremony. And for the last two years this couple I normally really like have done a slide show of their trip(s) overseas. Yes, they were marathon (Berlin last year, Paris Olympics this year) related, but then we saw all their side trip stuff. 

I left during that last year. And my plan was to leave during it this year. 

The president, is a nice enough guy, but is in his late 60s (not that much older than me, right?) and has a Ph.D in English and teaches, or at least taught, high school kids. 

I cannot effectively put up here a slide he had about his classroom rules (there were five.....kind of) that he was using for tonight's presentation in some weird capacity, and he claims the first rule came from Monty Python. 

1).  No Poofters


Now, I don't know that Monty Python-ism, but it's not out of the realm or probability that they would have used it.

The woman sitting next to me (straight and maybe 45) and knowing I'm gay leans into me and goes, "does that mean what I think it means?".  I said, I have no idea if there is another meaning for it. She pulls out her phone...........there is no other meaning for it. 

Homosexual Man.  That's it. 

Now, I could have been offended, but let's face it, I've been called a LOT worse. And he wasn't calling me a poofter directly. At least I don't think. 

And yeah, I saw the problem, but you get to a point where you kind of shrug your shoulders. 

Fortunately, or un, right after that was the slide show, so I said a goodbye to our table and attempted to sneak out.  Another guy, a great guy, catches up with me outside and asks why I'm going. I just said it was late and I had a sick dog at home. I didn't want to say, "g-d, I can't take another European slide show". 

Ironically, I was not looking to offend. 

The next day - actually the same night, I just didn't check - I got an email from the president of the club. With the subject of: Sorry if I Offended

Blobby, 

After I my presentation tonight it was brought to my attention by two people that the archaic meaning of "pufters" was a derogatory name for you guys. I apologize for this mistake. I should have known to check on any word used by Monty Python.


Oh, man. "you guys".  Or was it supposed to be "you gays"? 

So, I'm assuming I know the two people who talked to him. The woman I sat next to, and I'm assuming (after the fact) that Andrew thought I left early because I was offended.  Just my guess. 

Both are allies, as Carey's brother is gay, and Andrew is a librarian who is all for drag queen book reading and participates in Pride. 

I groaned audibly when I read the email. 710 said I should write back and I should. I just haven't.  Folks on the Sunday call were right that if he is still teaching, and using that slide, any kid who is struggling with their sexuality, this is a bad thing. 

So, for that, I will reply back to him. Thanking him for the note and concern. Telling him, while I wasn't offended personally, I can certainly see why others would and I applaud him in recognizing it and changing his slides for his students. 

It kind of lets him off the personal hook, while hopefully being a teaching moment. 

Honestly, I don't think he meant harm in anyway. It's just one of those oversights. A show and a phrase he's known for 50+ years. I'm not letting him off the hook, but I kind of get it. 

Of course, now that I'm in (half) marathon training, I won't see him this Saturday, which people might take to think I'm butt-hurt and not showing. 

I'm kind of ok with that perception. 


Song by: Lizzo

2 comments:

James Dwight Williamson said...

Tell him he should take all his liberal arts degrees and stick them up his ass.

Travel said...

He is not that much older than I am, and I would know that was clearly inappropriate. Unless he has been living in a cave he should have known, should have changed that one years ago. Even if not aimed at one person, it was disturbing.