I missed this on The Daily Show, but caught it as a snippet in the 'Week in Review' from the NYT. Just made me bust out laughing.
I was allowed to host the Oscars this year, and I'm very excited about that. It feels like winning the Heisman. No guarantee of how you're going to do in the ballgame or in your career afterward, but it is something they can't take away from you, unless you go crazy and kill your ex-wife and a waiter. And even then, it is pretty hard to take it away from you.
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