I was looking one that would be the red flashing lights of an EMS going down the street that still gets in your windows and room even with the blinds drawn.
This is as good as it gets.
Anyway...........
Blobby, as always, has a hard time sleeping through the night. It's been going on for ages. I can fall asleep with almost no problem, but staying asleep it difficult. In the past few years, I've found out I can go back to sleep for short amounts of time. Mostly.
Saturday night / Sunday morning, I was semi-awake when I saw bright red flashing lights seep through our closed bedroom window blinds. It was from a slow moving vehicle. Due to no corresponding blue lights, I deemed it to be an ambulance.
But then it stopped a house or so up from us and left the lights going. For the record there was no siren, which was good...........and maybe not.
Me, being Gladys Kravitz, I get out of bed (sans glasses) to peer out through the slats in the blinds. No surprise, I can see nothing. I'm not even sure which house where EMS is attending.
I go back to bed and don't really fall asleep. I am attacked by angst on a bunch of 'what ifs'.
Just going by my parent's experiences, an emergency vehicle making a non-emergent visit means one of two things: someone needs help off the floor after falling. Or there has been a death and this isn't a rescue as much as it is a recovery. I went with the latter.
From there it (read: I) just spiraled.
There are still a few people on this street we have never ever ever seen - and the two houses where the ambulance could be are two of them. So, I don't know their story but in my head one of them lost a husband or wife in the middle of the night.
From there it was: what if I lose 710? what will I do? how will I go on? and then it just got worse from there.
About this time, I heard a car pull up and it seemed like a cop. It seemed (to me) like more probability of a death at home. BTW - I have nothing to back this up.
But the thought of being alone without 710 just kept me up for the rest of the night. Anxiety filled.
At some point, Shep, who hasn't slept with us in years, comes into the room and sits by my side of the bed. He eventually lies down next to me, but on the floor. I don't know if he was watching out for me or not, but it seemed that way.
I left earlier than usual for my Sunday morning run because I was wide wide awake. I pass the house in question, every single light in the house is on. I've walked into my parent's house like that after one has left via EMS. Or hearse.
The entire thing - fictitious as it might be - left me rattled all day. Not so much for the unknown neighbors but how it shook my psyche. This isn't the first time, I've had stories like this over my blog throughout the years. I'm also smart enough to recognize I'm doing it on sleep depravation as well.
No doubt over the next few days I'll be back to normal, but I've added it to the list for my shrink. If I'm paying the guy, he should know from where my crazy begins, no?
Song by: the Traveling Wilburys
2 comments:
Certainly Unnerving
I can relate a little. Sometimes I lie awake with thoughts of what I would do if my husband died, and not in a general sense, but very detailed tasks that would need to be performed. It weirds me out, but I convinced myself that it's normal for people our age to begin thinking of such things.
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