Age of Anxiety I

I do not like when anxiety rears its ugly little head. 

Unfortunately for me, that running tumble I took in April really did a number of my phone. Granted, it was getting up there in years, but it never quite fully came back to life after they "fixed" it. It had finally gotten to the point I could not ignore replacing the damn thing. 

Yesterday was that day. 

There was a time when I loved going into the Apple store. 

I'd go in just to look, knowing I needed and wanted for nothing. Maybe that part was key. Going because you want to versus you must might make all the difference. 

710 has also been pushing me to get a new laptop, as the one I'm typing on doesn't really accept all OS updates due to its age. I kind of mentally shut down when he brings it up, even as a helpful suggestion. 

But yesterday. Ugh. I got to Apple ok. Well, the parking lot. And I sat there for 10 minutes psyching myself to go in. I put on my big boy pants and walk in knowing I'd be accosted. And I was. No less than five times just before and at the first table. 

At least at our Apple store there are probably one customer service rep or "Genius" for every 2.4 customers. It becomes claustrophobic and suffocating.  .....at least for me.  

"I'm just looking" passed my lips so often I lost count. Not so deep down I knew which phone, storeage size and colour I wanted, but I felt the need to see it and touch it - so yes, I could have just ordered it onlne and had it shipped.  ....but I didn't. 

I could have been out in 10 minutes had I just ripped off the band-aid and let someone help me. But not....I moved on to the laptops..........with a barrage of people asking my needs. One, Peter, not leaving my side and I pretended to look through the specs and pricing.  Peter was annoying me. 

I finally just went to look at a wall of cases I'd never buy just to get out of it all. Lo and behold the one Apple rep in a ortho boot was sitting behind me, craning her neck to see if she could be of assistance.  

AGGGGGRRRRRRHHHHHH.

Biting my lip and tongue, I walked right back over the phones and told the Apple employee what I needed. 

Swear to g-d:   "let me see if I can find someone to help you". 

Are you fucking kidding me?  

Why not you? Or one of the 173 employess within spitting distance. 

Oddly, I caught Peter's eye all the way over in laptops and he came over the assist. He had to pass at least a dozen other reps standing around. I'm not even sure he could do phones, but what the hell. He helped. 

As we moved through the process my anxiety was less than before, but still palpable. At least to me. But he helped me spend an inordinate amount of money - which I know is part of the anxiousness - on a phone that is orange. 

I did ask him one laptop question as we waited for the device to arrive from somewhere in the back. He emphatically told me not to get one today - phew - as if I waited until the 28th, I'd get a $175-250 Apple gift card, depending on the model I'd want. 

Part me me just wanted to get it now and never ever ever have to come back. The other part of me was thrilled I could just leave.................and I'm cheap so $175 bucks is $175 - even though you can't use it on that purchase, which seems silly. Just knock that off the price. 

So I got my new phone and went back to the car where I sat for 20 minutes. Just sat. 

The phone remains in the bag. It was too much energy getting the phone. I did not have the mental capacity to try to move everything over. I will try to do that this weekend sometime. 

Baby steps. 

Song by: Arcade Fire

Fortune Teller

As he has done in the past, on or around Halloween, Dr. Spo will read one's tarot cards. 

I believe this is the third time he has done so for me. 

I'm just getting around to posting about it now. 

Which each posting of this, I provide the disclaimer that I don't really believe in Ouija boards, crystal balls, psychics and I suppose tarot cards. 

They all seem to be as vague as the horoscopes they print in the daily paper and could apply to just about anyone. Ha. "Print"!

Below (well and in picture form above) are the three cards drawn for moi along with the good doctor's assessment. 

• Temperance: self-explanatory; a time or place of balance 
• World: a groovy card of harmony 
• High Priestess; Another groovy card of wisdom esp. from within 

Yours was one of the more positive readings, all major cards. They suggest despite how you feel you have your act and assets together and this will continue. Please trust yourself. You are a fortunate fellow with good energies.

Trust myself???   I am a classic overthinker. The good energies are mostly manufactured by the good folks at GlaxoSmithKline. 

To dive deeper, I went to a random tarot website - which is always wise - I get some other info. And yes, I'm cherry-picking it as I go. 

Temperance

It also references balance.

Temperance is also a gentle reminder to remain patient – allow things to work out the way they need to. Rather than trying to force an issue, go with the flow. If you are making any major decisions, weigh your options carefully. 

Trust myself AND remain patient?   Why these cards don't know me at all!  But I get it. Again, weighing one's options kind of applies to all. Or should. 

World 

Congratulations – you have successfully completed a major cycle/mission or lesson! Your journey is now coming to a conclusion and you’re getting ready for the next chapter. A feeling of elation and completion.

Now elation? Hmmmm. I certainly hope to have completed a mission or lesson, but I'm not sure I have. Or of which I'm unaware. Next chapters sound nice. 

High Priestess

The High Priestess is all about trusting that killer instinct you have within yourself. Got a hunch about something? Go with it. This is time to really listen to your gut.

This seems to be counterintuitive to 'weigh options carefully'. I suppose two things can be true. 

I'm glad Spo thinks my cards are groovy. 

Song by: Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

Shopping with Blobby

Yet another installment in the drudgery that is everyday shopping. The camera-phone makes it a bit more fun - though I get looks whenever I take pics of products. Like I care what people think! 

Is it really possible I haven't done a Shopping post since October of 2024???  That seems unpossible, yet I can't seem to find one. 

I think we all know by now that I am notoriously frugal. ....except for maybe running shoes. 

And when it comes to things like underwear I'm no different. I'm usually fine getting whatever is discounted at TJ Max. Yes, sad, but true. Mine are all mismatched, while 710 is all the same brand, just two different colours. 

Funny story. True story. A decade (plus) ago, I went into lululemon because my cousin told me that had free yoga. I was 90% sure he said on Saturday. It was Sunday, but I showed up on a Saturday with my mat. I felt so guilty trying to get a free yoga session out of them, I made the smallest purchase I could to assuage my conscious.  A pair of underwear:  and it set me back $18 !!!!!!!!

I have never worn them. ....and they have turtles on them. 

This has been a discussion with my psychologist believe it or not. An example, if you will, of a broader discussion.  $18 is a lot of money for one pair of underwear - or so I think. So in my mind, I'm not good enough, or worthy enough, to wear them. This is true with many clothes of which I own but have never worn. 

At least he didn't come back with, "get some confidence, stupid!".....though he probably thought it. 

Somewhere in my discount shopping, I did find a pair / brand I like. Enough so that I'd be ok tossing all I have and just going the 710 route and go one brand. And I found them on amazon and I'm just trying to justify $28 for a 4-pack. 

However, while on amazon the algorithm also suggested the above pictured pair: BKIEO. 

Cooling Nylon Trunks with Odor-Control Spacious Pouch. 

The last four words had me!   (BTW, a 3-pack is $44!)

My lord. Men are so fragile. Like Magnum condoms they could never fill up, I'm sure these same men think they need this:

If the Elephant Man was only elephant-like in 'that way' even he wouldn't need something so large. It just looks so comical, no? 

I didn't even rotate the photo, that's how amazon shows them!

Still, men are men........and men are idiots. They have a ***** rating (out of 5), but only one written review...which I will share. Must share!

The pouch is "not big enough".  Oh, honey!

Ooooookay "Trey", who really must be the ghost of John Holmes, I'm assuming. 

It makes you "feel like you're wearing nothing at all" because your peen doesn't (and can't) come close to touching any of the material.  ....or you're the ghost of a dead porn star. 

For the record, I did NOT write that review under another account name. Though it would have been funny to do so. Maybe Trey submitted the rating tongue-in-cheek. 

Also for the record, I'm not parting with $44 for underwear. I'll just have to see if I'll give up $28 for the aforementioned 4-pack. 

Baking with Blobby

Today I'm tackling what I consider a big one: a double layer chocolate cake. 

Ina Garten's Beatty's Chocolate Cake. I don't think it's named after Warren..........but you never know. 

Honestly, I was looking for a reason to make a cake - this cake - but I just couldn't justify having a big cake sitting around. 

However, yesterday was our 15th wedding anniversary. We really never do anything special, though 710 said he'd bring food in for dinner, so. I thought I'd provide dessert. 

15 is traditionally the 'crystal' anniversary, but since none of us collect figurines or Waterford, I got us something we can both enjoy: pre-diabetes. 

Fifteen years later and I still tease 710 about not having Georgetown cupcakes on our wedding day. To be fair, while our wedding day was beautiful it poured late in the afternoon when we would have gone to get them. And for me, the only reason I got married was for cake. 

People swear by how good Ina's Beatty cake is (and how good I am) - so let's try it out, shall we. 

Cake Ingredients

1¾ cups all-purpose flour 

2 cups sugar 

¾ cups good cocoa powder, such as Valrhona 

2 teaspoons baking soda 

1 teaspoon baking powder 

1 teaspoon kosher salt 

1 cup buttermilk, shaken 

½ cup vegetable oil 

2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature 

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 

1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee 

Chocolate Buttercream Frosting (recipe follows) 

Procedure 

Step 1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Butter two 8-inch round cake pans (for cupcakes, see note). Line with parchment paper, then butter and flour the pans. 

Step 2. Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and mix on low speed until combined. 

Step 3. In another bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla. With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry ones. 

Step 4. With mixer still on low, add the coffee and stir just to combine, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula. 

Step 5. Pour the batter evenly into the prepared pans and bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean. 

Note: For cupcakes, reduce bake time to 25-30 minutes. 

Step 6. Cool in the pans for 30 minutes, then turn them out onto a cooling rack and cool completely. (Not to worry; the top will sink a little in the center.) 

Turns out we have two 9" rounds, but only one 8" round. There were notes saying not to use 9", as the layers become too thin. I really wanted to follow this to the letter. So I had to bake one at a time. What a time suck. 

This would ultimately be a downfall for me. I should have done 9" at the same time. I'm not good at eyeballing equal amounts of batter 45 minutes apart. The second one would have more, it would cook over the edges and into the oven itself. ...the second layer ultimately breaking cracking in two. 

.....but honestly, you make it the lower layer and add enough icing and who the fuck is gonna know???

Chocolate Buttercream Frosting (frosts one cake, or 12 cupcakes) 

6 ounces good semisweet chocolate, such as Valrhona (see note) 

½ pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature 

1 extra-large egg yolk, at room temperature 

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 

1¼ cups sifted confectioners’ sugar 

1 tablespoon instant coffee granules, such as Nescafe 

Procedure

Step 7. Chop the chocolate and place it in a heatproof bowl over a pan over simmering water. Stir until just melted and set aside until cooled to room temperature. 

This worked well. I have tried a double boiler in the past with bad results. I was ok with this. 

Step 8. Beat the butter in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment on medium-high speed until light yellow and fluffy, about 3 minutes. 

Add the egg yolk and vanilla and continue beating for 3 minutes. Turn the mixer to low, gradually add the confectioners’ sugar, then beat at medium speed, scraping down the bowl as necessary, until smooth and creamy. 

Step 9. Dissolve the coffee in 2 teaspoons of the hottest tap water. On low speed, add the chocolate and coffee to the butter mixture and mix until blended. Don’t whip! Spread immediately on the cooled cake. 

Step 10. Place one layer, flat side up, on a flat plate or cake pedestal. With a knife or offset spatula, spread a thin layer of buttercream on the top only. Place the second layer on top, flat side up, and spread the frosting evenly first on the sides and then on the top of the cake. Cut in wedges and serve at room temperature.

If you go by Ina's recipe she has this all in two steps: the cake and frosting. It's all accurate, but seemingly easier sounding her way. I am more realistic on what a 'step' is. 

Blobby is winning no cake decorating contests any time soon ever. It looks homemade, because it is homemade. 

Note: I use Valrhona Le Noir 56% Cacao Semisweet Chocolate. You can use also use a good bittersweet chocolate but don’t use chocolate chips because they have stabilizers in them.

Ina is def fancier than I. And my store doesn't carry Valrhona in bar or powder form. So, I'm already off to a deficit. And my buttermilk was low fat. The price you get for shopping on a Sunday. 

710 cut the cake, right at a crack / patch place. So the slice above isn't the best shot. Still, it's about taste - and for that, we were on point. 

The coffee in the cake and the icing came through. I know Ina says it just enhances the chocolate, and it does, but it's not like that coffee flavouring just goes away. While I don't drink coffee, I'm fine with the flavouring. 710 loved it. 

The cake was light and moist, it was good cake to icing ratio. Taste was an A. Look I'll give it a B-. 

While in the last few years I have done more baking, but this was probably the most intricate. It worked and it didn't.  I just needed to pay more attention to my surroundings and my gear. 

My Music Monday

On paper, or should anyone have tried to tell me about this song, "Backseat" by Balu Brigada (I could not even make that up), I would have waved them off with an "I'm not interested....." kind of scenario. 

Even the first time I heard it - and second and third - I wasn't actually sold by any means. But it kind of crept up on me. 

The song is not sung as much as it is spoken, and not in a rap way or even in a Robin Thicke half-sing way. 

"Backseat" has an EDM-lite feeling throughout the song, but it really (for me) is the cadence of the spoken / "sung" chorus that kind of draws me in. It seems rudimentary but it definitely carries a hook. 

Back in my Ecstasy taking days, I could see this getting me out to the dance floor. 

I'm Goin' Down

Never Ever Ever EVER, in a kerjillion years, would this have ever been on my Bingo Card for the Absurd. Or any Bingo card in any realm. 

Full disclosure:  I have yet to click on any one of the stories surrounding the notion that BLOTUS went down on Bubba. 

Headlines are more than enough - even if 100% false. 

Even if it was a mock Monica Lewinsky reference /  going down "joke" that lasted 0.0001 seconds. And someone got it on 'film'. 

A moment on the lips..........   I suppose that explains those might hips. 

You know, even if it's not true, and it was a joke email exchange between brothers is enough for me. 

I know Lewinsky has a podcast (everyone else has one!) so this could be a wealth of episodes for her. Honestly, I feel bad for her. Ugh - to be lumped in with that fucking fat shitbag of a 'president' (the current one, and actually the past one) has got to be humiliating.  Still, she could have the Fellater in Chief 

I'd say humiliating for Hilary too, but I just feel bad for Chelsea and her kids. 

I mean...............I guess the author of this Tweet would know, right?  First "hand" knowledge. 

Allegedly the DOJ has been directed to looking into Clinton / Epstein shit, but not BLOTUS. Even though BLOTUS said all the emails are a 'hoax'. 

When is ANYTHING going to stick to this piece of shit?

And while I'm sure the full picture exists, I only found it in two parts. I didn't even bother to try to photoshoppe it. 

Both look drunk as fuck. However, there is not enough alcohol in the world where I'd allow that fat fuck to touch me. 

And since I didn't click on anything, read a paper or watch the news (though watching David Muir trying to discuss oral sex from two presidents would be HILARIOUS!)  I don't know any of the story behind it. 

It is very very sad to say, but that this would sit worse with MAGA than BLOTUS fucking children. They expect that by now, no? 

But GAY activity............with a DEMOCRAT?????  Something cannot be forgiven. 

Song by: Bruce Springsteen

Howl

Well, we do have cats this week.........just not Simon, nor Henry or Virginia. 

I am watching over my niece's cats (and fish) while she and her husband are out of town. So far, they've only made one appearance - mostly because I hung around trying to get them comfortable with me being there.

That worked with Pippa. It would take treats to get Willow to show up. 

Shunned. 

There is a dog park in an adjacent city that is for their residents ONLY!

I have never ever ever once seen one single animal in there. 

Pippa finally coming to greet me. 

She let me pet her, all the while hissing at me. 

An odd choice for Bailey's daycare to send to my sister. 

And there are about 1,030,897,311 better Ryan Gosling pictures they could have used. 

......like this one

We are getting closer to the end of autumn and of leaves. 

Camo Dog. 

Willow.  

It's all about the eyes with her. And that tail. 

My sister wastes an awful lot of money on dog toys. 

We had to board Shep for a day. Afterwards he was glued to me. 

.....speaking of tails!

For those who have never owned a hound.....welcome to my life. 

Song by: Florence + the Machine

Cooking with Blobby

Ahhhhh......colder weather.  Hotter dishes. And while I love to grill - mostly it doesn't make a mess of the kitchen - there are some dishes that just sound more comforting made inside. 

We don't eat a lot of red meat, but you've probably picked up on that since many of my things here are pasta or chicken based. I even went to pick up steaks this summer to grill and put them back, mostly due to the exorbitant cost. Sorry cattle ranchers who voted for BLOTUS........you made your deal with the devil. 

All that said, I love Steak au Poivre. 

Mind you, I can count on one hand how many times I've had it, but it's kind of really really great. 

A week or two ago, the NYT pushed a recipe my direction which they posted maybe a year ago: Chicken au Poivre. 

Hmmmmmm.  I mean, why not. 710 also got the notification and also forwarded it my way. How could I not try it?? As we got our first snow fall (grrrrrrrr), it seemed like a dish to try that would be warm and hopefully hearty. 

Ingredients 

Yield: 4 servings 

1 tablespoon whole black peppercorns 

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 

8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 2 pounds) 

Salt 

2 tablespoons unsalted butter 

2 tablespoons minced shallot 

1 cup low-sodium chicken broth 

½ cup heavy cream 

3 thyme sprigs 

1 tablespoon lemon juice 

1 tablespoon finely chopped parsley, plus more for garnishing 

Crusty bread or egg noodles (optional), for serving 

Preparation 

Step 1 Place peppercorns in a small resealable bag. Using a mallet or the bottom of a saucepan, gently crush the peppercorns until coarsely cracked. (Alternatively, you can use a mortar and pestle.) Set aside. 

Step 2 In a 12-inch cast-iron or other heavy skillet, heat oil over medium. Season chicken with salt. In two batches, sear chicken until light golden all over, about 5 minutes per batch. Transfer to a plate. Pour off any remaining oil in the skillet. 

Step 3 Add butter and shallot to the skillet and cook, stirring, until butter is melted and shallot is softened, 1 minute. Add broth, heavy cream, thyme sprigs and cracked peppercorns and mix well, stirring to lift up any browned bits on the bottom of the pan. 

Step 4 Add chicken (and any accumulated juices), bring to a simmer and cook, turning and basting occasionally with the sauce, until cooked through and an instant-read thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the thigh registers 165 degrees, 6 to 8 minutes. 

Step 5 Divide chicken among 4 serving plates and discard thyme. 

Step 6 Add lemon juice to the skillet and stir until sauce is slightly thickened, about 2 minutes. Season with salt and stir in parsley. 

Step 7 Spoon the sauce over the chicken and garnish with more parsley. Serve with crusty bread or egg noodles, if desired.

Everything is there to make it great, but it was just good. I get I have high expectations. This is the second time in recent weeks I've worked with peppercorns only to be let down a bit. I do expect more of a punch. 

While I salted the chicken, the water for the egg noodles and the sauce, it still needed salt after it was served. That helped a lot. And I suppose my doc is glad I added some. 

The recipe did not call of corn starch or anything, but the sauce never quite thickened up even a little. I think if it stuck more to the chicken it would have worked better. 

I'd do this again, but might use more salt - or use salted butter and not use low-sodium chicken stock? And I'd thicken the sauce more. 

12 of 12

So I'm doing my 187th 12 of 12.

Normally it is 12 pictures taken on the 12th of the month. Since I only post once per day, you get my images the following day. All pictures taken with my iPhone. Click images to enlarge, if you choose.

Created by Chad Darnell and picked up from, what I can tell, any number of random bloggers who then link back to him and vice versa. Chad is no longer doing this, nor is successor coordinating the linking of other 12 of 12'ers anymore.   

04:32.  Up and atom .

06:18.  Gym. 

Meant to take a pic in the gym, but forgot. So this is post shower. 

06:32. We have far too many eggs. 

So this week I'm making eggs (with tomato and jalapeño) for breakfast instead of oatmeal. 

06:51. Then I made lunch for 710, with a treat on top for Shep. 

10:35. Mid-morning snack: chocolate cherry muffin!!!

12:13. Fed my niece and nephew-in-law's fish while they're out of town. 

12:24. Was well below a quarter of a tank. Can't have that. 

12:40. Grocery run. For the stupid stuff I forgot on my big Sunday run. 

16:12. Daycare freedom !!!!!

17:01. I wanted dessert, so I made brownies. 

18:47. Leftover night. 

Microwave and Air Fryer working to get us dinner. Plenty of leftovers from the last few days. 

21:04. Said dessert.