Monday, May 29, 2006

BLOSSOM TIME I

I have not been to Blossom Time in what I'm guessing is 30yrs. Chagrin was never a great metropolis, but it sure has grown since I was a kid. The rides still look as unstable as when I was a pre-teen. The booths where the carnies have their games look just as seedy. Instead of blacklight posters as prizes, they are now ones of Jessica Simpson, the guy from Prison Break. Instead of face painting there is now temporary tattoos. Instead of stuffed Tweety Bird prizes, now you get SpongeBob. And of course, there is always the live goldfish in a Glad sammich bag for tossing the ping pong ball into the bowl.

The food - still corn dogs, elephant ears, french freedom fries and sno-cones. None of it seemed good for a day pushing 90 degrees when we arrived (94 when we left!). My niece and nephews seemed to have a good time - even though it took me until after we left to realized we didn't even do ONE kiddie ride. We had to make it to the parade. UGH. (I made it up by getting them ice cream on the way home.)

I don't remember the parade being unending (Blobby pretty much fried his un-SPF'd head during the 3.5 hrs we were there). We ended up sitting near the end of the parade route. By the time the participants got to us, well.....they just didn't have it in them. Maybe they didn't at the start......who knows. The marching band who by that time were just...well.....marching. Drums played....and no one else. But the boys loved the fire trucks - and I guess that is what mattered mostly.

...and bagpipes? Are there anything worse? And you can't have just one group.....there were two. I swear those "instruments" could raise the dead.....but not in a good way (is there a good way?). When are these guys gonna start dying off? Speaking of dying off, they say that X amount of WWII vets die daily. I now know the source of many of those: they are forced to carry massive flags in full dress uniform in 90+ degree weather for 2 miles.....and they're 85!!!! It's enough to make anyone keel over.

And when did parades become political events? There were more judge, representatives, congressmen, etc running for something than there were band members, shrines, fireman and soldier - combined!. Not only that, the fuckers didn't even throw candy? C'mon - a little something for the tykes who are out in the scortching heat if you even want me to entertain voting for you???

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