The Secret Marriage

I'm still struggling a little with content for written posts, but you know me, I don't want to just cave and not have anything.

So, I turn to the Onion and their take on more marriage bans.

New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each Other

"we didn't choose to feel nothing for each other....that's just the way we are!" And I love the part about the buffets and endless piles of food.


Phew. That buys me another day to get something in writing......



Song by: Sting

Something

I don't think I mentioned it, but "Santa" had a big fail this last holiday season. It's not entirely his fault, but if he were really on his game, this wouldn't have happened.

Little Blobby secretly wished for Something Something Something Darkside. Little Blobby did not receive it - and for the most part, he had been a good boy.

To be fair, 20th Century Fox released it only two days before the holiday. What right-minded Santa would have fought those crowds for the one he allegedly loved? Yeah, that's right - I went there.

Santa rectified the situation a few weeks later and finally we got around to watching it this last weekend.

Let me pull back a little: Something (x3) Darkside is a Family Guy parody of The Empire Strikes Back. A year or two ago, Family Guy did the hilarious parody of Episode IV.

Something was fun and funny, but I won't go as far to say it was hilarious. Maybe a few more viewings would change that for me.

The storm trooper in the mesh shirt scene could have been funnier or gayer. That he was just dressed that way cause he was planning to go out dancing afterwards wasn't good enough. The nipples were a nice touch.

And while you cannot really see it here, like Blue Harvest, some of the animation was really really outstanding. I'm guessing Geo Lucas didn't use as much in his original version back in 1979. I thought the detail to the exterior of the ships and parts of the Cloud City fight scene (partially above) were exceptional.

But there were some Family Guy running gags that were included that just make me laugh - like when Peter/Lois/Stewie fall down and grab their knee and go: "ohhhh.....ohhhh.....ohhhhh". It turns out, it's just as funny when an Imperial Walker does the same thing.

And of course, Consuela, the maid for the Griffins, Superman and now Darth Vader is one of the best bits they got going.

There is also a weird scene with Tom Selleck/Magnum and of course a cameo by Meg that just makes you pseudo bust a gut.

In the big picture, it doesn't seem to be as sharp or funny as Blue Harvest, but we'll see. ...if nothing else, there is a slight promo for We Have a Bad Feeling About This. Or as you might know it: Return of the Jedi.


Song by: the Beatles

I'm Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down

Pee Wee is alllll over the place lately. Yayy for him. Yayyy for me.

I'm a huge Pee Wee fan. And you might remember from a long-time ago post, that I may have frequented a certain x-rated theatre that Mr. Wee was arrested in Sarasota, FL. Granted, I was 16 and sneaked into the place and this was a good 10-15 years before P.W. made his now famous trek there.

But Pee Wee is making his comeback. Conan. His stage show in Los Angeles. A potential new movie. And now, Funny or Die.

I still wish I liked FoD better. Like some of their stuff, this video had potential. Much more. And is it just me, or is Clocky and Globie's voice different? Possibly Magic Screen too. It's disconcerting.

Pee-wee Gets An iPad! from Pee-wee Herman

But the iPad is a bit disconcerting too. It's like a big version of the Newton with a little iPhone in there too.

Normally, I'm pretty much pro all-things Apple, but I'm not rushing out to get this. Not first generation - that's for sure.


Song by: Paul Young

X Offender

I'm still stuck in Tennessee. And if weather predictions are correct, I might not be out today either. Ice. Wind. Snow. Nothing big for Ohio, but in TN, it's a show stopper. I'm calculating staying at the hotel versus going to the airport, where I might get stuck trying to sleep in those sucky black chairs at the gate. You know the ones I mean.

I've packed strategically, in case I'm only left with my computer bag.

But for some levity, I'm just throwing out a video from one of my newer go-to shows: Better Off Ted. I'm sorry, I find it tres funny.

And this is an outtake, which, I cannot only believe they did, but they posted too. And my favourite thing is, how good of actors they are. I could never get through saying 'fucktard' or 'peppy little spooge vacuum' and not even crack a smile.

Anyway - enjoy. Maybe it will get you guys to watch the show, so it gets picked up for next season.




Song by: Blondie

Another Plane Went Down

If you read any blog or on-line news paper, you know that the UScare plane that landed in the Hudson River just over a year ago is up for auction: As Is. Slight water damage. And you have to buy it intact - not just pieces of it.

"Just show me the PlaneFax!"

No engines though. WTF? How am I gonna fly that thing if it's got no power.

But "they" have just released video of the little plane that could after everyone was safely off the vessel and it sat and slowly sank in the Hudson for days afterward. Time-lapsed, of course. I found it highly interesting to watch the process.

I even liked the Howard Shore - like / Lord of the Rings - like accompanying music.

Posted on Kontain.com - [Flight 1549] from David Martin on Vimeo.

Song by: Shawn Colvin

Like a Virgin

Do not even know how I stumbled across this - so do not bother to axe.

It makes no sense if you haven't seen Avatar. It makes little sense if you have! Clearly this guy has too much time on his hands. The line about him being called a virgin in high school probably rings true. It'd probably ring truer if he said ".....and after high school too!".

I'm not sure making this video blog post is his oddest offense. The taped up sign that says "Jonas Brothers" is slightly disturbing, though I can't really tell you why. I mean, truly, I've never seen or knowingly heard them. Sure, I've heard of them, but listened to a song? Nah.

I thought that boy-group was for tween girls, not males in their mid-20s. Of course, may it a joke, running or non.

When I see something like this, it does make me take pause as to why I'd continue doing any video blogging. But then I snap out of it and think, there is no way I'm going to as much trouble as this guy.



If the video doesn't embed (and I can't tell if it is at this point), you can find it here.

I did take a screen capture at one point during his blog, because, well........when I saw this....

It immediately reminded me of this guy from Star Wars....

I wonder if the video guy realizes how ridiculous he looks. Probably not.

But there is certainly no questioning his virginity - still!


Song by: Madonna

Love Came Down at Christmas

I suppose one can celebrate xmas without believing in X, right? I mean, I have for years. And by years, I mean decades. It's all about taking time to relax and have fun with friends and family. Kind of in that order. Family makes it all that more tense sometimes.

But today, we'll get up late (for us) and kick back until mid-morning before we even think about gift exchange. We will make breakfast first - and go all out on it. No cereal or oatmeal for us. We're attempting eggs benedict.

Everyone celebrates differently and however you do it, enjoy your day and your holiday.

However, before you go - I insist that you watch this. Given to me by Morty, it is just so damned cute!


Song by: Shawn Colvin

Dick in a Box

When I first posted this a few years back, it was great and funny. It still is. The problem was, it got pulled off of YouTube. Bastards.

It seems me and all my email buddies agreed it might have been one of the funniest things on SNL in the 157 years it has been on the air. Believe it or not, it one these guys an Emmy!!!

I think we all had what we thought were the funniest moments. Jon "liked" how the guys kept pushing roses and feathers into Maya Rudolph or Kristen Wiig's faces. Becky liked how they kept singing about what they wouldn't get them for xmas. I don't really remember what Dith's and Morty's favourite pieces parts were. I'm not sure what mine are.

Maybe it is that Justin Timberlake might actually have a sense of humour. But it is still funny - and I'm doing this post two days early so I can go visit Morty & Co in Columbus.



Song by: Adam Samberg & Justin Timberlake

Dancin' With My Elf

It wouldn't be the holiday season if I didn't do the annual Elffing of myself.

Office Max is jazzing it up this year, with different dances and some singing.

As you can see near the post title, I tried out a Disco motif, but it wasn't working for me. I don't need to do the the Classic, as I've done that before. Country didn't call to me, nor did Hip Hop.

So you get the singing one. (which is hyperlinked above)
It appears that Office Max has me dancing better than I do in my posted blog videos, but worse than I think I do in the kitchen while I'm making dinner. Maybe I can get OM to help me win the Jiggy Dance WhoreOff IV, whenever that might be.

It sucks that they make you pay $5 if you want to keep it forever. As it is, you can only view it until January 15th.

Enjoy it.


Song by: Morty via Billy Idol....or vice versa.

We Three Kings

I am so not a fan of holiday music - especially xmas music. But g-d, when it's done right, even the traditional stuff can be a treat.

Those correctly done songs are few and far between and I suppose 'done right' or 'done correctly' is relative. I truly don't think there are enough good takes to even make up one full album (Alison Moyet's "The Coventry Carol" is a great song, but that's the only one I can think of off the top o'my head).

So I present to you, Blondie doing their version of "We Three Kings".

You can download it for free from their website, which I hyperlinked above.

I think I like this version, not so much for the content, but the execution. How is this not Blondie, circa Plastic Letters? It is so much more raw than stuff they've done recently - and by recently, I mean the last 25 years.

I also see on their site that they have a new disk coming in 2010. Yayyyy. I'm so hoping it is in this same vein. I mean, not holiday music, but their early style.

Yeah, I know most of you don't care about this - so this is mostly a post for Jon.


Song by: Blondie

Be Kind to My Mistakes

I threatened promised to post a very short blooper reel of my first speaking video. ...and I'm nothing if not a man of my word.

I knew I had done four takes of the original video posting, if you can even call them that, which went bust and for some reason #4 went off without a hitch. Well............you know. But there wasn't really much to pick from those other three attempts, as they never got far into the filming. So you get what you get.

Honestly, the one reason I'm posting the blooper reel? I smile and laugh in it - and you guys give me grief for doing neither. So now you'll have to find something else to bitch about.

Oh - and it's Saturday and I got nothing else. ....well, I do, but I'm not ready to talk yet.

Song by: Kate Bush

Tiger Woods

Yes, there actually is a song called "Tiger Woods". I am not making this up. And yes, I own it.

Becky (and yes, she's hyperlinked b/c g-d help me if I forget!) turned me on to Dan Bern, wow, this has to be almost a decade ago. Trust me, the song has very little to do with golf and not exactly what you think it would be. The song is at least 10 years old, and why the man hasn't been actively using the recent headlines and the song title to bring attention to himself, well.....he clearly needs a better agent/publicist. It's all about timing and opportunity.

You've all heard the Tiger story anyway. Or stories (plural) and non-stories. My favourite one is Tiger's sex dream that involves Derek Jeter and David Boreanaz. Who knew straight men had fantasies about devil's three-ways? Especially when the guy fantasizing isn't even involved in the menage-a-trois.

But have you seen the CGI version of the "accident"? For this, you just have to love the Japanese (possibly Chinese or Taiwanese).

I'm personally waiting for the CGI of the chick-Boreanaz-Jeter porn movie.


Song by: Dan Bern

This Was the Year

365.

Today is the day.

I've completed my one post per day, every day, for the last year.





Song by: Nina Gordon

I'm a Loser

{sigh}

The numbers don't lie.

Well, I didn't come in last - and I guess that's the best thing you can say. I'm trying really hard not to be a sore loser, but I always let my competitiveness get in the way of true fun. {I'm saying this all very tongue in cheek you understand, right?}

Oddly enough, people must have liked the video enough to watch it 275 times (as of this writing), even though only 11 people voted for it. One of them being me! Someone rated it 5-stars on YouTube - so thanks for that (and it wasn't me, as you cannot rate your own submissions). But only one person has given it a rating...besides you other 11, um...10 people.

I can't even pull a Sally Field here. "right now you really really don't like me!"

Or I guess, it's possible you all thought it was a hideous car accident that you couldn't turn away from and had to watch again and again - and now it's going to end up on some viral clip show like the Numa Numa guy.

So Kelly won. He was strong right out of the gate and there was no catching him. I suppose I have a year now (is this an annual thing?) to come up with a better/different concept. I love that Brett practiced and stuff. That never occurred to me. Point. Shoot. Edit. Post. That's all I did.

It was fun and I'm glad I did it. Hope you all enjoyed it too - not just mine, but the others. I mean, I hope you enjoyed mine more, but..............



Song by: the Beatles

Dance This Mess Around

OMG - it's my second video. Two in one full week. And yes, it's a dance one. Again. Two for two.

I think I can almost promise it is my last dance one, at least for a while. I had no intention on doing, let alone posting, another dance video, but then there I was, sitting at the counter at Schwabs having my ice cream soda, when I finally got my big break! (ok that might be a reference for the older crowd........Jon).

Really, it was a personal email from the one and only brettcajun. When Brett specifically requests, there really is only one answer - right? (he should put that previous sentence and keep it in his back pocket for later.....). Yeah, it's a bit of a man-crush. Sue me.

I mean, c'mon - it's like being asked to sit at the cool kid's table at lunch. I was never ever ever invited there or even dared to venture over in that direction. So I was intrigued, to say the least.

I will go on record as saying I wasn't happy happy about accepting - mostly because I know I'm a dork at dancing (as you've seen), but I'd be afraid of never being asked again, so I took the Jiggy Dance WhoreOff III challenge.

I haven't really seen I or II, so I made my video blindly and I'm hoping it helped not silo me by what others have done in the past. I also didn't have a lot of time to get a concept or execute the video: four days from invite to posting.

Yes, the mess dancing around, is me. Apparently, I am some Limburger - which is why you won't dance with me. But I threw caution to the wind and went for it, using video techniques that were abandoned by 1986. However, they hide a plethora of sins and inexperience in editing (and shooting and well.....dancing).

The hardest part? Uploading to YouTube. Apparently using anything from the Warner Music Group set up an immediate block on go-live. The music you hear (or will be hearing) is from Panic! at the Disco. I contested copywrite issues and at least have a temporary reprieve. We'll see how long that lasts or how long the video stays up.

It's kind of a joke in a way (yes, I'm tempting fate here), since Panic! only had two disks before disbanding. They kind of should be happy anyone is using their songs for anything. But there probably is that whole payment thing - and they probably could use the cash.

But I do like the song I picked and it wasn't the obvious choice (I'm hoping). I mean who, but me, chooses a song called "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage"? Who?

For the record, I'm more Jiggy, then Whorey (not that I'm passing judgement........Kelly!). But just by a smidge.

Apparently there are other contestants, though what you win is unclear to me. But I'm a competitive guy - more than I care to admit, but less so than a certain Louisiana tennis player we know of. So it would be kind of fun to win this out from under him.

There are five entrants, including moi. It could be argued that none of us truly dance, but I think I might be doing it more than the others. However, I didn't get specific ground rules on what we were supposed to - and supposed not to - do. Granted, you get to see Kelly in a harness and his bare ass, but is it art?

You know what to do - vote for me. Vote early. Vote often. (ok ok, I think you can only vote once.) But I'm woefully behind in this contest. How can this be? Please note that competitive comment a little bit up on the text.

So without further ado - here I am, contestant in Jiggy Dance WhoreOff. III.

Song by: the B-52's

Mr. Right

I so wish I could take credit for any of this, but I cannot. The Onion made the video, and Morty directed it my way. I'm just the vessel to share it with you.

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Becky's response to it was priceless: Hilarious...but who's Glen(n) Beck?

She doesn't watch much TV. If she knew who he was, 'hilarious' would have been upper-cased.

I do have to mention I ended up sending this link to a long-time friend of mine, Mitch. He is a lawyer by training. He is a staunch republican - and one who campaigned for NJ's Christie. Oh and he is a VP at Fox "News".

Yes, I know....I know, you don't have to say it. I know it. He knows it. He knows I know it.

But believe it or not, sometimes friendships can overcome or overlook these things. Sometimes they have to. Of course, we know enough to steer clear of things to discuss other than the weather (don't bring up climate change!), music and alcohol. Nah - that's not true, we talk about almost everything.

However, I sent him the clip with a note: Being a company man, you MIGHT not find this funny. I kind of hope you smile a little.

He had a nice response of: Oh no - I still have to maintain a sense a humor.

Mitch never said if he liked it or not. I mean, he knows where his bread is buttered and I did send it to his work email. He's smart enough not to say too too much.

Hopefully you'll like it. How could you not?


oh - as for the song/post title, I do not think Mr. Beck is correct.....he is to the Right.



Song by: Garth Brooks

Baby Got Back

This is a blog entry that usually only Tornwordo could write. I don't know whether to be proud of the fact that I've joined his league/rank, or horribly horribly ashamed. ....but here it goes.

So, there I was yesterday morning, doing my bidness, as I am apt to do, pre-dawn, you know: Shower, Shave and Shinola. Except we all know no one is really buffing their shoes when they use that phrase - right? Need I really clarify? Huh?? Torn, care to set them straight on this?

Well, anyway, I went to 'shinola' before going out the door, which is my usual routine. Yes, I have patterns - you can't be shocked by this, can you?

Granted, I have been working out a lot in the last nine months, and have been tackling all parts of my body, so many parts of me are much firmer than they once were. Including my, uh-hum, backside.

But I have must have one big fat ass strong as hell gluteus maximus, because as I was sitting (no 'h') there, reading the CB2 catalog (not a euphemism), there was a shift (yes, there is an 'f') in my seating arrangements.

Some people can bend spoons with their mind. Some can move a quarter across a counter. I can crack a seat with my crack. Smell me! Wait - maybe in this scenario, you don't want to do that.

By the way, skin and hair can get caught easily, WAY too easily, in that crack. ...and now, for your moment of non-zen! It does wake you up in the morning. Who needs coffee?

Do you want to know the sad thing about all of this? This isn't the first time my center of gravity decimated a toilet seat. At least I'm keeping an entire industry in business.



...and just because I can, the blog title totally made me think back to one of the first iPod/iTunes commercials. I love when white guys do rap because it's so relateable for them and their life. But it was a fun(ny) commercial - I thought.

Song by: Sir-Mix-A-Lot

Dancin'

I probably do have something to say today, but when I posted the other day of having writer's block, Sean suggested I post a video of me dancing in the shower.

Here it goes.

I don't see what's so great about dancing in the shower - though one might suspect he thought it would be with less or no clothing than me coming directly from post workout and in gym gear.

Yes, the entire 20 seconds is queerer than queer but it will explain so much. I am a HORRIBLE dancer. Ask Mr. Pez. And I'm clearly no Brettcajun when it comes to dance videos. He's the king.

Ok, I am not really not as bad as this and I do have rhythm. I realize I look gayer than I actually am (yeah, I'm saying first - so keep your pie holes closed!). I thought of editing out the hands on the hips thing, but I couldn't be bothered.

On the other hand it is meant to be queer....and a bit over the top. I knocked this thing off in about 15 minutes - and that includes carrying the laptop upstairs shooting and editing it. It took longer to upload to YouTube.

To be fair, it was my first attempt at a video anything. It took me forever to actually find the Photo Booth of my newish Mac. I've never used it, let alone searched out it's function. But the editing thing it pretty easy and so is the adding of music.

....now if I can just get acting, voice and dance lessons, I'll be golden.


UPDATE: allllll fixed. except for the dancing part. that will take years of tap, ballet and jazz lessons.


Song by: Chris Isaac

Fall in the Light

It's that time of year. We go from daylight to standard time. Unless, that is, you're in some freaky place like parts of Indiana or Arizona or something.

We're falling backward (or you should have by the time you read this), which has never made sense to me. Most times I've fallen, it has been forward. How many times has one fallen backwards? I want statistics on this.

It also hasn't made sense as to why it matters all that much. At least with my schedule, except for the height of summer, I go to work (or gym) when it's dark and I come home when it's dark. Even if I didn't, that "extra" hour of light disappears in, what, three weeks (?) as the days start to get shorter and then we're really right back at square one.

I don't have Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I just take this as it comes. I mean, really, what else can you do?

But if for nothing else, there is "public service announcement" for the time change. It's cute. He's cute....and he's not even my type.

Song by: Lori Carson & Graeme Revell

Dress You Up

Possibly one of the funniest things I have seen in a long long long time. I am sure it has to be making the internet rounds, so you'll just have to suck it up and deal with it here.

Of course, I hope you're seeing it here for the first time, but it's probably doubtful. I love the Onion's matter-of-factness on it all.

Sorry you'll have to sit through a short LG ad before viewing it, but you'll live. ....and that inconvenience is totally worth it. Totally!

you really need to watch/read the info blurbs at the bottom of the screen

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

Song by: Madonna

Eight Easy Steps

For all the ink that has been spilled over these two douchebags, Jon & Kate, I have never seen hide nor hair of them, save any clip that made it on The Soup.

I see crap in the paper or on hour seven of the Today show about them, but since I don't care about these people and/or their story, I certainly don't care about the television appearances they keep sprouting up on. Snore!

And as much as I love Kathy Griffin, I guess you need to know more about Jon & Kate (or care) to get fully invested in her little clip. I'm not saying she's bad, it is just that I don't care.

However, George Takei makes another hilarious appearance where he is mostly self-referential and slightly more funny than when he played Sulu.

In reality - it's Sunday. And this is a throw away post. Sorry.

Song by: Alanis Morissette

Love is an Ocean

You can't always be on vacation. ...and by 'you', I mean 'me'. I always mean me. It's my blog. It's all about me....even if it's not my blog. But again, it is.

I can't be at the shore at all times, so I brought some of it back via digital camera - video mode. It's not the greatest shot and the sound seems loud - or is it just me.


....and now for your moment of zen....

This is a short movie - and it didn't come out exactly as I saw it with my own two eyes. But I really like it on the out-tide when the run reflects in the water.

Song by: Marti Jones & Don Dixon

She's Leaving Home

My oldest niece is leaving for her first year of college this week. Thursday, I believe. It's great - and it's a bummer.

It is a very exciting time for her. I think she's a little more nervous than she cares to let on. The same can be said for her parents. Both my sister and brother-in-law I think are going to be a little lost when they get back home and realize she won't be back later in the day.

I feel worse for my nephew. Katie was always so "out there!" that Matt could slink into the background and do whatever he had to or wanted to without too much interference. Now it's just him. Two more years of just him. Poor kid. He'll never escape my sister's attention until he's packed away to college.

But times are so different. We were all talking about taking our Peaches crates (if you had Peaches record stores) and our 100s of albums with us to school - along with your turntable, tape deck, receiver and speakers. Now it is all on your laptop. It's makes the move that much easier.

And the cellphones. I had a rotary wall phone in my room. They now have micro-fridges. I couldn't even have hot plate. Don't get my started on my manual typewriter.

Yes, I sound like Abraham Simpson talking about wearing onions on his belt because it was the style at the time. ""Give me five bees for a quarter", I'd say".

Anyway, I've written now and again about Katie, my niece. She's pretty (and not just a proud uncle saying that). She's smart - an honor student and who got a nice academic scholarship for her hard work. She's a gifted athlete who gave up tennis because she was never thrilled at the competitive aspect of it. And she's a talented guitarist and songwriter.

Truth be told - I bet she'd rather just do music than study, but here's hoping she can balance both.

But I am bummed she's going because she was always a lot of fun to hang out with - she got my sense of humour and she and I could talk music to death. She loves all the stuff I've given her and is now really into the Smiths, which I think is so cool (her mother, does not share the same sentiment).

I knocked off a couple of cds for her before she left - the new Morrissey, some Arcade Fire, Talking Heads. She oddly enough wanted the last Killers cd - which I didn't think she'd ever like. And I gave her a cd of songs I think she should cover that would suit her talents and voice well. We'll see if she takes my advice and posts any of them.

But I don't have to miss her too much. She has set up video-conferencing, so with the new laptop, I'll be able to talk to her and see her. That will be fun. I think. She might just find it annoying.

I thought I'd post her new song/video here, but opted for her doing a cover of the Beatles, "I Want to Hold Your Hand". It was done about a year and a half ago, so she's aged, matured and progressed as an artist. I'll let you sample her original stuff on your own time. You can find it here.




Song by: the Beatles

Doll Revolution

I could never say my friend Rebecca wasn't a clever, imaginative woman/artist.

You would think she's just an author, but that would be so short-sighted. She is so so much more. Apparently.

I immediately want to quote Sammy Maudlin talking about Lorna Minelli saying she's a triple threat: "she sings.....she dances and....uh.......she sings."

I've known Becca for 2+ decades (I know - right?!) and while she has sung and danced (usually after a few drinks - not that she needs those) she mainly writes. And now directs - because that's what she really wants to do. Don't they all?

She has turned in, to her agent, her second novel, Miss Blue Tip.

Nothing against her first novel (which I am proud to be part of), Nice to Come Home To, but I really enjoyed Miss Blue Tip - and I'm not even a part of this book! Yes, I got to read it already - and was able to provide feedback.

But she is anxious to get this book to drop - not that it's been picked up yet, as far as I know. It will be, of course. But until then, she's not even waiting for someone to pick up the movie/television rights. She just decided to direct, write and narrate her own video of MBT.

She also seemingly did camera work, set and costume design. The music, well, she just pulled that out of what has now got to be public domain - sorry Mr. Petty.

Anyway enjoy the video - and when it comes out (and yes, you'll hear about it here - ad nauseum), enjoy the book too.




Song by: the Bangles

Dog New Tricks

This is one of the cutest ads I've seen in a while. Of course, I have a huge soft spot for doggies and kitties.

I love how they can show emotion, or edited to seem like they can (but I believe they can).



I don't care that the commercial is for an investment firm. I like how in one minute it can tug at my heart strings for sadness and love.

It's just a fun Monday morning video to kick off the week. Enjoy.



Song by: Garbage

So Good to See You

I don't know how "out there" in the blogosphere this video is. I just found it funny. I doubt it is being shown on America's Funniest Commercials You've Never Ever Ever Seen - or whatever that show is.

...and clearly it is not even meant to be shown in the U.S. We just don't allow that. We're not that progressive.




For the record, how could you not know the difference?

....and yes, I know I'm just phoning it in with a YouTube Saturday. Sue me.



Song by: Shawn Colvin

The French Mistake

Poor Dom DeLuise. Dead.

He'll be missed - not that he's really been seen in the last decade. At least not by me. Unless of course, I'm watching Blazing Saddles - which can be a frequent occurrence.

It is such a great movie and so could not be done now-a-days. I think it was my first R-rated movie. My mother would have said 'no', so of course I went to my father who was clueless about these things and gave me his permission.

Naturally, it was the bean/fart scene that had 12 year olds just rolling in the aisles - me being one of them. There were so many other jokes that were so much funnier, but you needed some age and wisdom behind you to catch on. It's not like the entire movie isn't quotable. My man-date, Scott, and I do it all the time.

Of course, I distinctly remember the entire two minutes or so "Buddy" was in the movie - right near the end. It's still funny when he says, "watch. me. faggots!" Like I said, I'm not sure they could pull off some of this shit anymore.

Enjoy the clip.




Song by: a bunch of Sissy Marys.

Education

I'm still not totally sold on Facebook by any means. I even got unfriended by one person - but to be fair, he was not totally sold on FB and just unfriended all and then deleted his account, so it wasn't totally personal. Or so he says.

But I've slowed way down on my Twitter stuff too, but I got this from one of my Twitter peeps. It's humourous, but not laugh-out-loud funny. But really - isn't it always that way when videos are done in that 1961 educational filmstrip style?




Song by: Pearl Jam

You're the Storm

The attached video is ok. Nothing more. Nothing more, nothing less. But so far, I've found that true of about 94% of all Funny or Die videos. It's a bit sad when their two best bits were a Lindsay Lohan spoof of an eHarmony ad or Paris Hilton's bid for run at president.

This one is a parody of the National Organization of Marriage's viral video. The one that includes "real" doctors and parents. And by "real", of course, I mean "actors". At least with Funny or Die you get real actors playing fake people and know it - not that you've actually seen Alicia Silverstone in anything since Clueless so it's hard to remember she acts. But a girl's gotta work.

I'm more amazed at how much exposure Sarah Chalke keeps getting. She sucked so badly as the second Becky on Roseanne, who knew she'd be the go-to person for any number of sitcoms. I love her in Scrubs.

Some of the dialogue is pulled directly from the NOM video. If anyone can truly explain the line to be about the doctor and faith, more power to you.

Anyway, the video makes the point. I just assume had they put some more thought into it, that it would have been funnier.

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

Hopefully it plays well for you. I had buffering issues - and I'm not sure if it is Funny of Die or my every so slowly dying laptop. I think the latter.



Song by: the Cardigans

I Only Wanted Sex

It is not that I don't care about my blog public when I do a video post. It's that I care too much. I could rattle off some crappy bunny/christ post today and probably get away with it, but I'd be going through the motions.

This way you know I'm going through the motions.

Disclaimer I: I've never seen any of the Fast & Furious movies. Nor do I plan to - even if Vin Diesel is somewhat hot. Yes, I admit it. I don't love him for his thespian skills. To paraphrase Aretha Franklin, I just want to go for an extended throw-down with him.

Disclaimer II: I can't tell you the last time I saw a full episode of SNL. I still don't. And since the Tina Fey/Sarah Palin thing is over, I don't even bother to tape and fast forward through it.

So thanks to Hulu and the likes for being able to watch clips you hear are funny. This one is funny in a way. I think they could have kicked it up a notch or two, but you gotta love Seth Rogen. Or I do. I actually think I might have to.

And yes, the two disclaimers come together in this clip.




Song by: Jann Arden