New York

I hate it when my friends do not think I'm as funny as I do.

....and for the record, none of my friends think I'm as funny as I think I am. Bastards!

Case in point: I was traveling last week to a town which had the same name as a friend I have known for 18 years. Since we live 2200 miles away, we don't see each other that often, or even email as much as we should. Oddly enough, I keep in contact with his partner more than the friend himself (thanks Facebook!)

Now, I've said in the past, I have some friends with really good names - Denton (whom you may have heard of now and again), Ivor, Hillel and Hunter. Not a foreigner in the bunch, either. And then there is York. Somewhere in this blog-thingy, I went through how I met him and how Morty and I were trying to understand that this was indeed his name - and his first name at that.

So knowing I was going to York, PA for the day, I pack the digital camera just in case I had some free time. It turns out I could have had more, had I known the returning flight would have had "mechanical difficulties" and been delayed for two hours.

But I still got some good shots to just "torture" the man with for the next few days. These are just a sampling of what I took, because as it seems, almost nothing is named in this town that doesn't start with his name....or the name of the city, I suppose.









I was hoping for a Theodoric of York Barber Shoppe, but I couldn't find one. Dang.

On this last pic, I happened to snap with my iPhone as I was walking back with a client I was visiting. I tried to be sly about it and all but I was caught and he asked what I was doing. Busted!

So, I told him my story and plan. He LOVED it. He loved it even more when he found out York's name was his first name and not last. He'd never heard of that. I mean, who has? It was a great bonding moment with a client. Who knew?

So this guy drags me across the street to the York Chamber of Commerce to see what there is to see. Unfortunately, not a whole heck of a lot. Some brochures and that's it. I should have searched for a t-shirt, but thought I didn't have time.

But it turns out that they actually do make York Peppermint Patties here. And York barbells. And they have the largest Harley-Davidson manufacturing plant in the U.S. - which doesn't say "York" and really ties into nothing in this post.

So, over the last few days I've been randomly been sending a pic or two to the Y-man and getting NO response. WTF?

I went way way way out of my way to do this!!! I even cc'd his partner on the emails and been getting nothing.

All I can say is - they had better be stuck under some kind of rock and not have access to their iPhones under said rock!

Luckily, I won't be visiting any towns named Morty, Becky, Meredith or Jon! I'm not going through this whole rigamarole thingy and not get at least the cursory "LOL" (or "ROR", in our case).

I guess I could go to Denton, TX.


Song by: Prozzak

This Shirt

Yesterday I did one of the more extravagant things I have ever done for myself: I ordered three custom dress shirts!

Made to order. Not Maid to Order. That was a horrid horrid movie with Ally Sheedy and Michael Ontkean, that you will see some morons rated as 4.5 stars on amazon. Jon will try to deny it, but we actually saw it at the Olentangy cinemas. I have no idea what we were thinking. We were probably still riding high on her performance in Short Circuit.

Normally, I'd never do something like this - the movie or the shirts - but it was kind of for a good cause. A local um....tailor? men's shoppe? haberdasher? was doing this in association with Big Brothers.

It's not Big Brother, that Kenneth on 30 Rock does work for. “Oh, Big Brother isn’t affiliated with the mentoring program. It’s an organization that secretly watches people and makes sure they’re behaving properly."

No, this is actually Big Brothers/Big Sisters. One of my co-workers, and former boss, is the chairman of the local organization. He's a great guy and it was hard to say 'no'. And it was a decent deal.

The first shirt was only $45 - and hell, it's custom made. And half the price goes directly to the BB/BS organization - so it's almost like I'm paying $23 for the shirt. Any additional shirts were slightly more, but still half the cost going to the mentoring program.

I got measured to within an inch of my life - neck, arms, waist, chest, wrists...blah blah blah. Then got to pick my collar, pleat, pocket and cuff types. I opted for no monogramming on the sleeve. I'm not that guy.

So I got a really one nice white shirt, a beautiful blue one, and then went way out there and picked a deep purple (eggplant, if you will) that had white pin stripes. The last one seems like I'll look totally pimped out. It will be harder to coordinate that with suits and such, but something I didn't ever have nor could easily find in a store.

I guess I've come into my own. I don't know I'll be able to go back to.....shudder....store bought shirts!



Song by: Mary Chapin Carpenter

Outbound Plane

Hurray for sleeping in my own bed! How do prostitutes do it? Well, I know how they do it, I just meant, don't they want the comfort of their own bed once in a while?

I made it out of Nashville, by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

You see, Nashville, like most of the south cannot handle snow, let alone ice. They were slated for both. I was doing my risk-benefit analysis all during the last two days of my stay on whether to change my flight or trying to make my 20:00 one scheduled for yesterday.

My rationale for keeping the original flight was "they'll have time to clear the streets and runways". As I got up that last morning, I thought differently. They think differently. They closed all the schools a day before the first flake even fell. This was not a town that was going to clear anything.

During sessions I should have been participating in, I went on-line and changed my flight. I moved it to 14:00, though there was a 15:30 as well. I almost went for the latter and just said, "oh fuck it" and did the former. ....and thank fucking g-d I did.

The normal travel time from the Nashville office to the airport is 20 minutes. Reports yesterday were that it was over an hour, so I gave my presentation and boogied on out of there with two others. I'm sure some were not happy that I left before sessions ended, but I can deal with that. And they'll have to.

Taking back roads (thanks iPhone/Gooooooogle Maps), we stayed off the parking lot of a freeway and got to the airport in 45 minutes. Plenty of time....considering. Instead of a direct flight, I had to connect in Chicago which I was good with. We pushed off from the gate almost on time.....and then that's about it.

We sat. And sat. And sat. And then sat some more. The 15 minute wait for the de-icer (yes, THE ONE...and only one), turned into 45, then 90 then 120. Mind you, the flight to Chicago is 65 minutes.

I can deal with the sitting and waiting (well, to a degree) if anyone was giving any kind of updates. But they did not. Well, that's not true. They flight attendants kept coming on to tell people to turn off their cellphones. "Fuck you honey! It's the only way we were getting any kind of info!" ...is what I said.....at least the voices in my head said that.

Of course, we were watching out the window watching it get worse outside. But it's all relative. It was Nashville bad - not Cleveland, Chicago, Philly bad.

And even though Southwest clearly changed my flight, I was still getting updates for the 20:00 flight being emailed to me. At 15:00, they delayed that original flight by an hour. Really? They are doing that five hours in advance? I says to myself, I says.......that really means cancellation.

Lo and behold, when we landed in Chicago (oh yes, we did eventually take off), the entire Nashville airport had been shut down. Bullet dodged.

I can't say it was really fun trying to make my connecting flight in 10 minutes, but I did - and made it home.

....and slept in my own bed for the first time in almost a week.


Song by: Suzy Bogguss

Traveling Again

Oy - it's been a long week.

I was out the door on Monday at 05:10 and returned to home sweet home at 21:10 on Friday. A long week indeed.

While I bonded with some people in my new division, there was entirely too much time spent with each other. 12-16 hour days....always together. Sleep was the only time alone. Even my 05:00 workouts had someone from the group in that tiny hotel exercise room.

But in an odd way, I did miss the air travel. Kind of, but not really, in a George Clooney Up in the Air, sorta way.

There is an art to air travel - how to pack, how to check in and where to sit in the plane. I think some is intuitive, but much is learned behaviour if you take the time to truly observe how things flow.

For instance, if you have to use four or five of those plastic bins to put shit in to go through x-ray, you do not know how to pack for the plane. Two should be the max and only because your laptop can't go through with anything else. You pick out the experience business travelers in a heartbeat (it's a love beat).

We silently mock those who hold us up, but the people who roll their eyes or sigh at the offenders are closer to being the newbies than experienced travelers. For the most part we suffer in silence with all-knowing looks to each other, while never giving ourselves away.

One change, albeit a slight one, but that I picked up on immediately, was the verbiage in the emergency demonstration (not that I watched, but I heard snippets): In the event of a water landing......

No longer is the word "unlikely" in that phrase.

Has one plane landing in the Hudson, out of the thousands that take off and land daily, deemed this a higher probability? It doesn't seem to make sense when you look at the mean.

But I'm home - for a week. Last night the bed went girl, boy, girl, boy (the girls were the cats - this is not a Bob, Carol, Ted & Alice kind of thing), so all was right with the world.


Song by: Dar Williams

Tennessee

Did I mention I'm already on my first work trip? Yes I'm in Tennessee. But you probably already gathered that from the frickin' post title. That's why you're all members of Mensa!

TN. Home of Ruby Falls, Rock City, the Opry, the Lisa Marie, Twitty City and of course the mayor West of Mayberry, Large Tony.

Yes, week two of the job and I'm in Nashville for at least four days. Possibly five. And then I'm back again for another week - the last one of this month. So much for only 40% travel. It's all good.

I've pre-drafted blog posts to publish, on the off-chance I don't have to write something timely. This is one such post. It's like the 'Today' show when they show Matt L interviewing someone and then they cut back and he's not in the same suit. Yes, he wasn't interviewing that person live. It was taped. Get over yourselves! It's all smoke and mirrors here!

I'd like to say I'm going to go down to Broadway and hear some of the great music that is played in those clubs, but I will be working from morning until night. When I'm not, I'll stay in my little Embassy Suites suite and use their hotel gym and room service - probably in that order.

I'm over the thought of not packing gym/workout clothes because they weigh down the luggage. I've got to make a concerted effort to be active even when I travel or I will back-slide, and we cannot have that.

Maybe I should have given Tony the head's up I'd be in his state. I don't think he lives anywhere around Nashville, but I'm sure he'd have driven the one, two or three hours just to see me - right?


Song by: Shawn Colvin

Human

I'm not big on human interaction now and again. Specifically in the service industry.

I am the guy who gets annoyed when you walk into a store and the salespeople/clerks accost you to see if they can score a sale from you assist you. But I'm equally annoyed when they're not around or are around and then they don't or won't help you. You can't win with me some times.

In my former, and now again current, parking garage at work, no matter which exit you went out you had inferior attendants you could not avoid unless you had a key card (which I did not have for my first year) and had to pay cash to exit.

Attendant #1 was more focused on dancing in her enclosure than taking your ticket and sheckles so you could leave. Attendant #2 had a hard time taking and sorting money even when you gave her exact change. G-d help you if she had to make change. You may as well get out your copy of War & Peace and finish a chapter or two.

So now fast forward a year and there is a new system in place. A wonderful, magical place: no humans.

You take your ticket, put it in a machine in the lobby, pay there and use the ticket the machine returns so you can exit the garage via another machine. Ok.

Four of the five days this week worked like a charm. I loved it. LOVED it......and let's face it, I do not love a lot of things. No lines at the gates waiting for these "workers" to process the hundreds of other people who share my garage.

But on day five of five was a FAIL. A big one.

I left the office, late-ish. 18:00, or there abouts. But it was a Friday and impending bad weather had the office and building cleared out fairly early. So I go to exit the garage and there is a line of people waiting to get out. However, it is a no-go. The ticket-taking / gate-opening machine does not work at one exit. The gate is closed completely at the second exit.

....and no human.

A button the machine did summon a human voice - and as we all sat there with our collective engines running, doing the slowest mass suicide by carbon monoxide, we waited.....and waited....and waited.

Secretly I was hoping the soul sitting in front would just drive through that wooden gate and free us like Moses did the slaves. But he had a really nice car and I suspect he wasn't willing to scuff it - even a little. Even for precious precious freedom.

Eventually some sad sack worker appeared, most likely from another garage where there was still humanoids who manned the structure.

Yeah, I was annoyed that it was a Friday and I wanted to be gone, but I was dry, I was in a warm car, but still delayed for 30 minutes. On the plus side - I get my key card in the next few weeks and I won't have to worry about this crud.


Song by: Maria McKee

The Working Hour

It's only been two days, but so far things are going well. I had my first client meeting yesterday and it went well.

Mind you, I went in with now business cards - and I don't yet have an email account and spent the first day without a laptop, but.......

So the laptop came day 2 and it is teeny weeny. It's actually a Dell netbook. My old Dell travel battery weighs more than this new thing, and the new travel battery is smaller than my iPhone. It will be a breeze to travel with. It might suck for big spreadsheets I have to work on, but I'll adapt. It beats trudging from city to city with it strapped across my shoulder and ending up with a bad back.

And speaking of...........I'm still sore. Not as sore as I had been, but it flares up now and again. Clearing snow the other day (not the day I fell) didn't help matters, but it had to be done. Either way, I'm out the door at 5:15 a.m. this morning, because come hell or high water I will be working out. It's been five days since my last work-out - I fell lost. I feel like I'm losing momentum.

I'm not going to overdo it. I know I won't be able to, but next week I travel almost all week. All I will have is hotel exercise room. It will not be optimal, but I'll use it because what are my other choices?

Song by: Tears for Fears

Return to Me

Today is the day.

New job starts this very morn. Old office of a year ago, but new job, new boss, new responsibilities. I might take my old desk back - as no one has occupied since my departure a year ago.

It is a 25th floor view of a crappy landscape, so I guess I could change desks if I wanted to. No one would care. And I don't really need to sit with my old cohort (not that there's anything wrong with them), but I'm no longer in their division.

Actually, in the Cleveland office, I might be the only one in my division. It's possible there is one other. The rest are spread out between Philadelphia and Nashville - and a few others around the U.S.

Looks like it will be crappy commute day - for day one, anyway. Single digit temps, not including wind chill....and probably lots of snow. But it's all good.

I got exactly like 24 hours off between jobs. I worked a bit cleaning up stuff Sunday morning at the old office and getting things taken care of - then turned in my key, locked my door and left for the last time.

So I'm back. That's the plan. I may or may not tell you how it's going - and if I do, not in detail. This ain't a work blog - but you know that already.


Song by: Chris Isaak

No Title. No Song. No Concentration.

Just a brief post.

I'm as ready for the holiday as possible. Or at least as good as it's gonna get.

Gifts are bought, if not necessarily all wrapped. Food is ready to be eaten and eaten and eaten. I'm mentally gearing up for family stuff, but whatta gonna do?

Yesterday, work folk surprised me with a going away cake. A nice gesture for sure, even though I still have a week left - and then some, and that it was the most g-d awful cake ever. Cake was bad, icing was worse.

I boogied out of work early too so that I might have drinks with my man-date, Scott. It was only two glasses of wine, but it was a nice time. He always makes me laugh.

So this morning, after work-out, I'll put in a few hours of "work", but I cannot imagine staying a minute past like 11:00a.

Calling it Quits

It's been almost a year to the day that I told you that I up and quit my old job to take on a new endeavor.

Though linked above, the short version is, my career options, at the time, were limited there and I opted to move back into something I had spent most of my adult life doing - healthcare operations and finance.

The new job was not the end-all / be-all for me. I knew that shortly after I was in. I probably knew it before I walked into my office for the first time, but I'd make it work. And I did.

In the last year, I took a very unprofitable department into the black. Actually, I went positive to budget in eight months. Smell me. I also shored up the front-line staff and started making the professional staff into being less dysfunctional. They're physicians - so, they'll always have a lot of dysfunction, but you try to minimize that. They still have a ways to go.

But, many days there have been a struggle. Not so much at the department level, but at the organization. Too much infrastructure built in where it was a fight to get anything accomplished. At my level I shouldn't have had to go to my boss to fight for me, which ironically, in those cases, he'd have to go to his boss to get her to fight for him and me. So you can see the inefficiencies.

It probably didn't help that since July, I have been being (re)recruited by my former company, albeit passive-aggressively. But I took the bait and began talking to them. Talking became formal interviewing, which became me doing case-studies for them, which became a job offer - which I accepted a few weeks back.

Why wait to tell you now? For one, I normally do not talk about work here and am keeping things vague, at best. Two, I had to hammer out some negotiation things in regards to benefits that I wanted before I officially nailed down a start-date. Three, I hadn't given my notice to my current employer - and as much as I hear from all of you, I owed them the first official notification.

Now, I hate quitting. I hate the moment I have to tell them, "I've accepted a new position". As much as I think guilt is a useless emotion, it runs through me like the Colorado River. So there is a weird sense of irony in this last round when I was to talk with my boss about my impending termination and he beat me to the punch: he'd been let go due to job eliminations.

In a certain way, the pressure was off as I wasn't dumping my department in his lap until he found my replacement. Of course I immediately felt bad for my department since they will not have anyone for a bit to continue the initiatives I've put into place and keep up their successes. I felt bad that I was moving on to a better job and he was moving on to unemployment.

Some of those feelings were immediately quelled when after giving my announcement, even with him being let go, he went into exit interview mode. Really? Now? But then I figured, he was probably thinking if I was leaving and he was going, one of those reason might have been because he was viewed as not being a good boss. (you can see the tumbleweeds and hear the whistling wind and crickets here......but technically, I'm not saying one way or the other...)

While I won't go much into the new job, it is with my old company, it is a new service line, it is a new reporting structure and it is an opportunity that did not exist when I left a year ago. Had it, I might not have left in the first place.

Like I said in my year-old post, some of these people are the best folks I've worked with in my career, so I'm kind of excited to go back and the ones who know I'm coming back are excited. If I could pull it off, I'd have minimal people know and just go in on a Monday and sit at my old desk drumming my fingers on the desk like I had taken a really long long lunch and just showed back up.

....but I don't have to go back, exactly. I will travel about 40% of my time. I can work in the downtown office, or from home - and I'll probably split my time that way.

So I think I've made the right move. I hope I have. Because, if you look on paper, I'm officially what I would call a job-hopper. I hate that more than anything in my career, but to use the phrase I hate more than the plague Sarah Palin, it is what it is.



Song by: Aimee Mann

Dangerous Type

Two more weeks or so of fingers to keyboard and I can potentially take a blog break. Potentially.

It would be hard not to do this daily, but lately, I'm thinking - wow, it would be nice to take a few days off. I think it's mostly a 'how busy my life seems to be these days' fatigue I'm just feeling right now. It's not you. It's me.

Normally I don't talk work here and I really won't. Maybe the high-level view. I am not one who needs a pat on the back for what I do. Odd for a Leo, but I rather do a good job and be left alone. Unfortunately, it seems I do a good job and all I get it, 'what else can you do for us'. It's a bit disheartening. I'm in the black - by quite a bit, when I was told I wouldn't even break even.

Where's the 'thanks', I tell ya.

So that has just been a bit draining for me. More than I normally care to admit - let alone here.

Hell, even yesterday I didn't get out of bed until 5:30a. Yes, I skipped the gym. Shock! I know.

I lay there at 4:00a and told myself I just couldn't do it. I wanted to stay in bed, so I did. I never really fell back asleep, of course. I spent so much energy on the guilt of not going and trying to justify going after work or I could get there if I left NOW.

Neither happened. I knew I had a busy and late day, so I was going to miss yoga as it was - I had no idea how I'd get in my cardio and weight routine. So I got in none of it. And I'm not really beating myself up over it. It could be said I'm an all or nothing kind of guy - so I was nothing.

It's why you've gotten me ALL year.

I know some of you have asked why I am doing this. It was not my intent to do it. I just happened to be blogging a lot and in April or so I found out I was five months in without a break. Then I thought I'd take it to 'x' date and at some point I figured I just had to go the entire 365.

December 5th. That's the date. Or is it?


Song by: the Cars

Stuck

So on Friday I got my H1N1 vaccine. Score!

I know there are a few out there who are skeptical of either the vaccine itself or the over-hype of the flu itself. I get it. I respect it. But respect me my views too.

I work in healthcare and I see its impact. I see how it is affecting healthcare workers, who would normally be taking care of ill non-healthcare folks. I see how our ICU utilization is through the roof and if you are in need of a ventilator due to respiratory illness (say, like due to H1N1) you might not be getting that cubicle/room.

My frustration lies with the vaccine distribution. Grocery stores and community centers got it before hospitals - at least here. We would get only enough that it would be gone in 45 minutes - and that was just for the direct patient care folks. Yes, workers got it before patients, because, if there is no one well enough to take care of the patients - everyone is kind of screwed.

Finally at the end of last week, we got a huge shipment - but not without our Chief Medical Officer traveling to Columbus and DC to basically beg for it. Since we got so much, they relaxed the tiered approach. Technically, I am not in the first three tiers. But enough came in where it was allowable for any hospital employee who wanted one to get one.

And for all the hoo-ha of low supply and high demand - do you want to know how many people were waiting to get inoculated when I was there at 14:00 on a Friday?

Me, myself and I. That's it. No one in front of me, no one behind me.

It took longer to complete the paperwork than it did to get the shot.

I'm not over-hyping the flu, but it's one of those things I do not need. So, I got my seasonal and H1N1 shots. I wash my hands - a lot - and I really am watching what I touch (do I really need to grab the hand rail on a public stairwell? Je think not).

So all I have left to do is make sure Denton gets it - the shot, not the flu. Me getting the shot only covers me so far. ...and let's face it, it is all about me!


Song by: Stacie Orrico

Writer's Block

One more month. Yes, one more month.

That is what I have left to do a full year of blogging. No days missed - even when I lost access to publishing. It's been hit or miss with my posts - hell, I am posting about fucking clock radios. What have I become?

Will I become a non-daily blogger? Only time will tell. I don't want to stretch posts out where they are so bad, like I feel they've been over the last two months. I'm not horribly inspired, but work's been a bear. But I'm not ready to give this up - not yet.

Back to work stuff: Budget season for 2010. On the plus side, it's almost over. ...until they come back and tell me to cut 10%, which they will do. But my expenses, revenue and capital are done...and it closes and end of day today.

So, I just have to make it until like 17:00 and then it's happy hours. Yes, plural.


Song by: Peter Bjorn & John

Piggies

It's here!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it's been around for months, but it is here and it is here now! H1N1.

Unfortunately, for most, the vaccine has not arrived. It has become problematic.

In Northeast Ohio, we have already hit what would normally be the peak of regular flu season, when you're looking at confirmed cases. ....and we are 3-4 months away from when the height of normal flu season hits. Pandemic, indeed.

Friends have already contracted H1N1 (right Dith?). Some of my clinical staff has gotten it too - which is very problematic when trying to remain operational to take care of patients.

Our place actually got about 1,000 doses of vaccine yesterday. FINALLY. It is clearly not enough, but it's a start. It is being administered in a tiered fashion. I'm not in the top tier to get a shot. I probably could have pulled some strings to get one, but I didn't. And I won't.

....at least for the time being.


Song by: the Beatles

I've Got a Right to Cry

I'm not really a horrible person. I really am not. Possibly. Probably.

However, yesterday I made an employee cry. It's not like I went out of my way to bring her to tears, but yet it happened. And since she was kind of a wench I can't say I feel horribly bad about it.

She had already quit, verbally, but was being a little secretive about her end date - which is just childish. And I told her so. I might have been a bit more harsh than that, but not a lot. And then the tears came.

But then to be a complete prick, I just sat there and waited five minutes before I even offered her a tissue.

Then out of nowhere she goes, "the Armageddon could happen between now and the time I leave!!!!!"

I had no patience for that shit. I said, without a moment's hesitation: "then your resignation is the least of my worries".

When Denton got home, I told him come the beginning of 2010, he might have to put me on his benefits, because at this rate, I just don't know how long I can deal with some of this sophomoric behaviour.


Song by: Mandy Barnett

If I Were a Weapon

I know you've all been wondering, but I'm still battling that wart on my thumb that I wrote about months ago. I'm on my seventh (!) treatment. And so far, not much has happened.

The doc, whom I really like, said I could continue treatments if I chose to do so. And then he followed that up with a lame joke you know he's been using since residency: hey, it's no skin off my back! I called him on it.

But on the way to the appointment, I overheard two female hospital employees:


Girl 1: So what was yours?

Girl 2: A weapon. A DEADLY weapon. But I got away with it.


Yikes!


Song by: Suzanne Vega

Woody and Dutch on the Slow Train to Peking

I got an email about a potential career opportunity. I will leave the company name out of this post, of course. I'm not going to copy/paste the entire email here, but this is how it started!

Job Description

Wie zoeken we?
Ambitieuze financiële experts met minimaal 6-8 jaar werkervaring met financiële processen (adviseren, implementeren, optimaliseren). Kennis en affiniteit met de Gezondheidszorg , bijvoorkeur in de Cure en Care Sector. Je hebt bewezen acquisitie ervaring en een aantoonbaar netwerk op bestuurlijk niveau. Je opereert goed in teamverband, kunt zelfstandig projecten leiden en hebt een professionele uitstraling. Eigenschappen als overtuigend, commercieel vaardig en resultaatgerichtheid zijn je op het lijf geschreven.

First, I love how in the intro there as no mention that the job was in the Netherlands. And secondly, that the entire ad was in Dutch....except 'job description'. What's that all about?

Ironically, you can kind of make out what the actual needs of the employer are - and figure out the job description.

Naturally, I emailed it to my peeps and Becky responded with: zabat ist ferked uppa!

...to which I replied, now you just sound like Jar Jar Binks.

...and that just totally skeeved out Jon, which I admit was kind of fun to do. I've known him for almost a quarter of a century and never been able to do that.

I'm not even responding to the email about the job. As much as the Netherlands would be cool, I don't think I'm ready to up and move....or learn a new language.


Song by: Rickie Lee Jones

Is it a Crime?

This was in my email yesterday. It didn't even make it to my spam folder - which is how I saw it.

Granted I am always looking for new career opportunities, but I never thought anything I would do for cash would start out with a theme song done by the Who.

You know I'd be on some critical mission, but be the one given the walkie-talkie. I don't even see anyone carrying their special lights to identify semen stains in the dark. What's up with that? Maybe the specially trained don't need that light. Is that what you were going to say all so snidely????? IS IT???

Though I'm sure I can come up with worse career choices, this is still nothing I would ever consider doing. Unless of course, I get to work with George Eads.

And by "work", I means "sleep with". And by "sleep with", of course, I mean "have sex with". And by 'have sex with", of course I mean....... Oh you don't want specifics.



What? You were thinking I'd be wanting to hook up with Marg Helgenberger? Puh-Leese!!! (say like Squidward.)


Song by: Sade

No More Mr. Nice Guy

I told my friends I wouldn't talk about this anymore, so of course I have to get in one last reference to an on-going conversation we've been having.

I have been in discussions with an organization about employment. Yes, I know I'm gainfully employed - so it's been a relatively no stress situation.

The COO/VP to whom I would report to had an immediate connection during our first phone call. It was a great hour phone call. It wasn't an interview - he made that clear.

I did interview and it went well. Not well enough, but they liked me.

How do I know? Because the COO/VP called to tell me, personally. I know, right?

Ok - in our first call, he said he would always be the one to let me know where I stood. No HR. No recruiter. No secretary. My first thought was, "what the hell is wrong with this guy - who, at his level, does this?" My immediate second thought was, "I want to work for this guy".

The next day he left me an email thanking me and giving me his contact information if I had questions. Not his secretaries line - his direct one. And his cell phone. That above question and above foll0w-up statement came back to mind.

So yesterday, when I was told I was not the candidate, the COO/VP called me personally - as promised. And even though I did not get the job, it was still one of the most positive conversations I have had - even for a turn down.

He acknowledged that connection I felt we had - professional, people.....just professional. I, in turn, told him exactly what I typed about my reactions to his personal interaction with me. I think he was really struck by that - in a good way. I also told him I mentioned that same reaction to the president of the company and the head of HR.

Mr. COO/VP then told me he'd like to keep my contact info - as he plans on there being a job opening up (i.e. being created) possibly in 3-6 months. Maybe there is. Maybe there isn't. It was still a classy way to be not chosen.



Song by: Alice Cooper